What Would Prompt Infidelity Aside from Sexual & Emotional Needs?

QUESTION & ANSWER:
Q: Enlighten me; outside of sexual & emotional needs, what else would prompt infidelity. I have been thinking, & I easily classify all factors that come up into these 2 categories alone. e.g. Respect. That falls under "emotional needs" class. If too personal to respond, please email me. What would prompt infidelity aside from sexual & emotional needs.

Dear M, here is a list I came up with that would prompt infidelity other than lack of sexual/emotional needs:

SEXUAL ADDICTION/ADDICTED TO WOMEN
Having a sexual addiction is not only a stronghold, but it's no different then drug and food addiction. No matter how much sex you are having with your spouse, it's never enough. There are many different reasons of this behavior, however the common root of this addiction is pornography! It's like an illness. Husband maybe addicted to women. No matter how good you satisfy you spouse in bed, how well you cook/clean, spoiling him, wearing all the sexiest lingerie, respecting him, treating him like a KING/BIG BOSS, if they are an addict of sex/women, then it doesn't matter how good of a wife you are. Trust me, I know. I am personally a victim of this. I did everything for my husband but get him a mistress. He was addicted to WOMEN! For years I thought something was wrong with me, even though my husband would brag how 'good' I am in bed, I took care of his needs, ie attention, love, respect..but yet he would continue to cheat on a regular basis. I have tried everything and new things, but it didn't work. That's when the Lord showed me that it's an addiction/stronghold and I have to pray. Long story short over 10yrs, my husband is now delivered from women/sexual addiction which came from the pornography.

LOW SELF ESTEEM
I always heard how low self-esteem has a part of infidelity. People have told me that he was cheating because he was insecure of himself. I never believed that because I thought it was foolish. If someone is insecure or has low self-esteem, then WHY would you be promiscuous? I have heard my hubby say "A, it was never you, it was me, I was insecure of myself and my self esteem was low."

SELFISHNESS
This is where the favorite phrase, "having your cake and eat it too". Some men just do it for the THRILL of it all. The excitement, sneaking, the anticipation of it all, it being adventurous or whatever excuse anyone else can think of. This type man's mentality is "It's nothing like having a wonderful wife at home who does it all, or half and having a mistress on the side". Another favorite phrase would be, "I wonder do I still have it?" Some would actually try and talk to a lady just to see if they still have "IT". This could also lead into infidelity because the brakes may not have ever been applied.

SUBTLE JOKES @ WORK or SUBTLE SEXUAL GESTURE
No intentions to cheat whatsoever, but it may lead to sex with co-worker or friend. This is unsuspecting and was supposedly no harm done to the spouse, however that is not the case. This too could be a prompt of infidelity.


HURT
Some cheat because their spouse has cheated on them and they want revenge (I can relate). So the root of this would be hurt. Common phrase, "you hurt me, now I'm going to hurt you back." Personally, that was my motto, and I did just that and regretted. When one doesn't have closure over infidelity, then that insecurity and paranoid feeling is still there. Watch it, because if that door isn't closed (having closure and your spouse assuring you their love, trust, etc..) then someone else will give them that security and it could lead to something else.

FEAR
Some spouses may have the attitude of, "Get them before they get you" mentality, or "I rather cheat first before they cheat on me." Take it to the Lord if you want help. It's up to you and you are responsible for self regardless of what your spouse may or may not be doing.

VOID
One may feel empty and try to fill it with alcohol, food, drugs, porn, sex and the list goes on to fill the void.


LONELINESS
Husband may be on another business trip. A long business trip.... He has a wonderful wife at home but he still have needs. There maybe a nice looking woman (or not) in his hotel. They have small talk, flirting begins, small touches start, sexual jokes, and now husband is in too deep!

So as you see, sometimes it's not always a lack of emotional and sexual attention with a cheating spouse, it goes further and only the wisdom of God can give you revelation on what to do. I am a standing testimony that the word of God is true and prayers changes things! Hope that answered your question.

A Few Items Every Mom and Dad Should Use

Here are a Few Items Every Mom and Dad Should Use to Manage Parenting and Sex

• Lock on the bedroom door.


• White noise machine such as a fan or a radio moved near the bedroom door.


• A ringer off switch on the bedroom phone.


• A private (lockable) drawer, box, or cupboard for marital aids you don’t want kids to see.


• His and Hers sexy lingerie.


• Sexy underwear for Him and Her.


• Weekly date nights just for the two of you! This is so effective in boosting your sexual energy!


• A reliable baby-sitter.


• Massage oil.


• A jar to collect loose change, designated to fund your next romantic weekend getaway.

http://www.the-intimate-couple.com/a-few-items-every-mom-and-dad-should-use.html

Also, Recharge Your Sexual Desire

• Have sex! Great sex energizes rather than depletes you.


• Guard your thoughts. The mind is your major sex organ! Replace thoughts of boredom, fatigue, and fear with excitement, energy, and confidence.


• Buy sexy underwear and then wear them at home, even during the day!


• Shop for sexy lingerie.


• Get a massage.


• Work out.


• Read books or magazine articles on sexuality.


• Buy scented candles to use at night.
• Write your husband a sexy love letter.


• Spend time planning what you will do later for your husband’s sexual pleasure and what you’re going to ask him to do for your’s.

http://www.the-intimate-couple.com/recharge-your-sexual-desire.html

Thirdly, Be Creative in Fitting in Both Parenting and Sex

• If your children are infants, plan to have sex during nap time.
• Bring the children to Grandma’s while you run back home and make love.
• Trade an overnight stay for your kids with friends who have children.
• This will give you all evening and night to kiss, cuddle, make love, …
• Keep the babysitter an extra hour while you kiss and snuggle in the car.
• Set the clock for 2 am when you know everyone is usually sleeping and you can have some uninterrupted time for sex.---Jim & Carrie Gordon

If you are unable to the following listed above, then here are some other suggestions:

• Give your children a snack with their favorite t.v. show or movie to watch.
• If your children are older, then send them outside to play.
• Just find a secret quiet place in your home where you and your husband can become intimate for a while.
• Send the children to bed early.

Either way, you must be creative in the sex destination area. You know what may or may not work for the two of you. Whatever you do, ENJOY!

Secondly, Set Up Sexual Boundaries

Your kids need to understand that both parenting and sex are important. They already see how you have made parenting a priority. But they also need to respect the time you give to yourself and your husband. Instruct your children about respecting your privacy and “couple only” time. Teach them:

• Get a lock on your bedroom door and tell your kids, “Always knock on a closed door and wait to be invited in.”
• Don’t interrupt mom and dad when they’re on the phone or in a conversation.
• Consider mommy “off duty” during her 15 minute break time.

Teach your kids positive messages about sexuality. Don’t let them speak derogatorily about sex and love.
Help your children understand the importance of mom and dad having alone time. “When the babysitter comes and mom and dad leave, it helps mom and dad love each other more! The love between mom and dad is very important in a family!”--Jim & Carrie Gordon

Take Care of Yourself, First of All

Take care of yourself first and you will be a better wife and mother and ensure great parenting and sex!
Loving mothers pay attention to their sexual lives.

Here are a few suggestions for you to take care of yourself:

• Subscribe to caller display and then, don’t answer the phone unless it’s someone you really need to talk to. Better yet, turn off the phone’s ringer and let your phone’s answering machine take messages for you.


• When you get requests from friends for favours, tell them that you’ll get back to them later since you and your husband have agreed to check with one another before making commitments. Don’t feel obligated to answer “yes” right away.

Reduce stress in your life:

• Address (or, if necessary, discontinue) relationships that drain you. (ie folks who “dump on you”, take but don’t give back, ask for advice but never follow through with it.)


• Stop comparing yourself to others.


• Don’t be a perfectionist.

Take Some Time Just For Yourself

If your husband can’t watch the children, trade babysitting time with a friend. Need some ideas for what to do with time away from the children?

1. browse a bookstore or visit the library
2. meet a friend for coffee/latte/dessert
3. take an art class
4. take a leisurely bath
5. exercise (this is also a libido booster!)
6. sit down with a coffee
7. get a manicure
8. read a book or magazine
9. sit relaxing in the sun or shade

No doubt, you’ve heard how adults are instructed on a plane that, in an emergency, they put their own oxygen mask on before assisting anyone else. Keep this in mind as you consider whether or not you've been putting yourself (your needs, your sexual pleasure...) on the back burner. ---Jim & Carrie Gordon

Parenting and Sex

Are you a mom of young children who finds parenting and sex a challenge? Motherhood is often a challenge in itself whether you are battling fatigue from any (or all!) of the following:

• sleepless nights with a newborn infant


• breastfeeding, burping, and diaper changing your baby many times in a day!


• busy days running after your active toddler


• helping out at your child’s preschool


• doing the extra laundry that comes with babies and young children
  and the list goes on!

How can you fit both mothering and lovemaking into your life? Where does a young mom find time for both? How can you have energy for all the demands of raising children while keeping your sexual relationship with your husband healthy? Many moms are completely exhausted at the end of the day and go to bed looking forward to “sleep” not “sex”!
Perhaps you don’t even have a desire for sexual intimacy. Your sexual libido is depleted. In addition, you feel guilty because you know your husband is disappointed that you aren’t “in the mood” as much as he is.

The next several post will be suggestions to help you experience what seems impossible: being a good mom to your kids and a great lover for your spouse!

http://www.the-intimate-couple.com/parenting-and-sex.html

Ideas On How To Save Money When Decorating the Nursery

First, make a plan. Before you start buying, figure out a budget, theme, and shopping list. This will help avoid impulsive purchases like that impossibly adorable toy chest that just doesn’t go. (And remember, we’re dealing with baby stuff now. Everything is impossibly adorable… time to toughen up.) And, start early. The sooner you begin working on the nursery, the more time you have to spread the costs over.

As you plan, think about the future. Though baby blue might seem sweet right now, your little one could have different ideas once he hits preschool. Go for themes, colors and decorations that will grow with your child to avoid going through the decorating process again in three years. This applies to furniture, too. Look for a crib that turns into a toddler bed or a changing table that converts to a dresser. The longer you can use an item, the better its value. Area rugs are a better choice than wall-to-wall carpet, because they are easier to clean and cheaper to replace. And, if you’re even thinking about having another child, make the nursery (particularly any major investments) gender neutral… just think, next time, all these decorating questions will be taken care of!---The Bump

Spying on the Husband

Sooner or later in the marriage you will find yourself at a place where you may spy on your spouse. Rummaging through his text messages, deleted emails, drawers, pants, wallet, and whatever else your pretty little head can think of may not always be the answer.

However, it is the intentions of it all. You know the very reason why you are doing it if you are doing it. Are you just being nosey? Did he leave any personal information open, so now it's convenient to check? You feel like something isn't right in the marriage? Did you hear a rumor?Could it be that you are insecure? Whatever the reason maybe, good or bad, it's best to ask yourself, why before you go playing 'I Spy'.

Before you do such an act, remember to prepare yourself of what you may find. Or, you may not find anything to confront your husband with. If so, then it's best not to continue to snoop or pry in his things. It's almost like you are looking for something that is not there.

There have been plenty of times where I have snooped around. My reason of justifying the behavior was because he was giving me a reason too at the time. I wanted answers right then and there. Unfortunately, my husband didn't want to talk. He kept to himself and there were red flags of infidelity. So me being puzzled and confused, I would go through anything of his. All this did was made things worse. I had no peace, I was always plotting my next 'spy' move, worried became my first name, I was paranoid, and just plan acting out of character.

Your best bet is to pray and ask God for peace and guidance in all situations in the marriage. God knows and sees all of what your spouse is/not doing, so it's best to take it to the throne. The Lord will give or show you answers. It maybe through conversation you and your husband may have, it could be an open email, text, etc. that the husband forgot to close out, so now it's accessible to you, or it could be a conversation with a family or friend. However you get your answer, ask God to laminate your heart. If he's willing to talk, then have a discussion of what/how you are feeling. Remember to be patient through it all. Some men need time to collect their thoughts. I heard that their thought process is different from women. So again, be patience.

Yours truly,

When the Baby Comes

That is a wonderful question and one that not many couples think about prior to their child being born. It is very helpful to discuss any issues that may cause stress in the future; for example, deciding how you will handle the first days home from the hospital. The initial weeks after birth can be very stressful for new parents, especially if they are fighting over who does what. Speak to your partner before the birth and establish both a "parental plan," as well as a "parental philosophy" that will be used throughout your years as parents.
In your parental plan, roughly assign who is going to do what tasks. If one of you can deal with very little sleep, perhaps they are the one to do the most night feedings. If you create a plan beforehand, things will run much smoother during the coming weeks knowing Mom is on 7-3 a.m. and Dad is going to take 3 a.m., because he can function better on no sleep. If the reverse is true, then obviously the parental plan will be flipped. Also, think about getting some support so both you and your husband are able to take some time for yourselves during the first few months.
Establishing a parental philosophy will help you deal with issues such as "Do we let the baby sleep in our bed?" or "Do we want to use a pacifier?" or "Should we let the baby cry at a certain point?" It is important to speak about your experiences and values, and how they will translate into your parenting. This will become even more helpful when you tackle issues such as discipline, chores, and house schedules. Knowing what you each believe in will allow you to formulate more clearer and more realistic expectations regarding how you will interact with your children.--Tammy Gold

How can I find clothes that are comfortable, fit my growing body and still look good?

Those bulging bellies are increasingly seen as beautiful and natural, not something to be hidden. Go for clothes that celebrate your curves, rather than masses of draping fabric to veil your tummy. Empire waists are great for showing off shoulders and growing breasts while giving baby room to grow. V-necks look good on almost everyone, and bring attention to the face. Open collars will accentuate your collarbone and make your neck look long and graceful. Clingy clothes also look cleaner and neater,and will make it clear that you’re pregnant, not just extraordinarily large. And, don’t forget the basic rules -- dark clothes are slimming, look good on everyone, and match with anything.

Thanks to crazy hormones,pregnant women tend to get kind of hot. (You’ve noticed?) Stay cool in breathable fabrics like cotton, viscose and matte jersey. Dress in layers so you can strip (appropriately) as the day goes on and your temperature rises. Also stay away from any scratchy fabrics -- pregnant bellies are already itchy enough.

Most maternity clothes come in small, medium and large. The sizing is basically the same as non-pregnancy clothes, with extra room in the belly, boobs, hips and arm holes. Buy your regular size, but don’t get too much at once -- your growth might expand to other areas.
The Bump Editors

I'm Pregnant, Now What?

I have this feeling that we managed to conceive... what should I do first?
So exciting! Here are the first things to do when you suspect you're expecting.


Take a Test
...together! It's just not as much fun to find out the good news if one of you is away on business or just got home from a tough day. If you have an inkling, decide together when to take the test, and leave some time to celebrate if the news is good. Many tests say to take them in the morning, but don't do it before work. (Wait until Saturday a.m. if you want to play by the rules.) How could you concentrate on a 9:30 meeting after getting the biggest news of your life?
Keep it Quiet
...for now. This is huge, exciting news -- give yourselves some time to revel in your shared secret for a few days (or weeks). Pick a time to tell the parents (best to wait until you're a few weeks along), and put together a plan. Break the news to both sets of parents with similar timing and fanfare to avoid hurt feelings. As for your friends... common knowledge says, wait until week twelve. But, (with the guidance of our real mom Nesties) we say, do it whenever the time feels right! Just make sure you're prepared for the news to spread quickly -- it's tough for people to keep such exciting news to themselves!
See the Doctor
... now! Chances are, the test was correct and everything is fine... but it's still essential to see your OB/GYN. Call your doc and explain that you're expecting as soon as you know, and schedule your first appointment for whenever she recommends.
The Bump Editors

The Power Of A Praying Wife

I Don’t Even Like Him—How Can I Pray for Him?

Have you ever been so mad at your husband that the last thing you wanted to do was pray for him? So have I. It’s hard to pray for someone when you’re angry or he’s hurt you. But that’s exactly what God wants us to do. If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love? But how do we get past the unforgiveness and critical attitude?

The first thing to do is be completely honest with God. In order to break down the walls in our hearts and smash the barriers that stop communication, we have to be totally up front with the Lord about our feelings. We don’t have to “pretty it up” for Him. He already knows the truth. He just wants to see if we’re willing to admit it and confess it as disobedience to His ways. If so, He then has a heart with which He can work.

If you’re angry at your husband, tell God. Don’t let it become a cancer that grows with each passing day. Don’t say, “I’m going to live my life and let him live his.” There’s a price to pay when we act entirely independently of one another. “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).

Instead say:

“Lord, nothing in me wants to pray for this man. I confess my anger, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment, resentment, and hardness of heart toward him. Forgive me and create in me a clean heart and right spirit before You. Give me a new, positive, joyful, loving, forgiving attitude toward him. Where he has erred, reveal it to him and convict his heart about it. Lead him through the paths of repentance and deliverance. Help me not to hold myself apart from him emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so.If there is something I’m not seeing that’s adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward him because I feel it’s justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.

”If you feel you’re able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the 30 areas of prayer I’ve included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessings on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn’t soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn’t change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn’t running more smoothly.

If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord’s perspective. Seeing your husband through God’s eyes—not just as your husband, but as God’s child, a son whom the Lord loves—can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn’t you? Well, God is asking.

There is a time for everything, it says in the Bible. and it ’s never more true than in marriage, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.

Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words can not be erased. They can only be forgiven and that’s not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it’s best to, well, shut up and pray. http://www.marriagemissions.com/

10 Ways to Make Fast Food Healthy

Learn these fat-proof tricks so you can eat your fave foods in good conscience

Not all fast food is created equal. Okay, but can you eat hamburgers, pizzas, and burritos without gaining a gut? Yes. You. Can! Even though these on-the-go meals wouldn't normally make the top of any nutritionist's food list, we tracked down some exceptions to the fast-equals-fat rule. Good thing, too, because the average American is consuming 100 drive-thru dishes a year. Here are the worst items at popular food franchises and simple fast food fixes that won't super-size your waistline.---Abby Lerner

Make a Breakfast Sandwich Healthy
Make a Burger Healthy
Make a Burrito Healthy
Make a Chicken Dinner Healthy
Make a Coffee Drink Healthy
Make a Salad Healthy
Make a Salad Healthy
Make a Sandwich Healthy
Make a Sweet Drink Healthy
Make a Sweet Drink Healthy
Make Pizza Healthy
Make Pizza Healthy
Make Tuna Salad Healthy

If links do not show, pls. go to http://eatthis.womenshealthmag.com/zmod_categoryDetail.php?Best-Worst-Top-Stories-10-Ways-to-Make-Fast-Food-Healthy-144

Let Him Dream Big Dreams

There's no reason to ever let your husband's dreams frighten you, even if for every noble and ingenious one, he dreams three fantasies of Disney-sized proportions. How he handles his dreams is not nearly as threatening as how he handles reality. He can (and he must) keep a firm grip on reality, and at the same time feel right at home in the world of dreams, ambition, and aspirations. Let him dream big dreams.
Every great thing any man ever did started with a dream. It was something a little bigger than life, yet worthy of his attention and his effort. And many of them are worthy of your enthusiastic endorsement and collaboration. Your contribution to the realization of his dreams can mean the difference between them ending up in the "cheap talk" or "action attempted" file.
Men possess hug, hardworking, dream-producing machines. They are at work around the clock in a room inside his soul that has I H-O-P-E written on the door. How you handle the dreamer in the man you love has to do with how much, or how little greatness he attempts.
Don't always take it upon yourself t play the "voice of reason" with the single-minded determination to snap him out of it and jolt him back into reality. I assure you, lofty dreams and practical reality can peacefully coexist. One is tempered by the other. Do not be intimidated by his dreams.
Let him speak "dream-talk" to you. If he shares his dreams with you, he has welcomed you into the secret chambers of his private world (remove your pumps and tread light there). Often he is seeking no more than your ear, and the profound pleasure of having you join him his exciting exploration of an intriguing possibility.
If asked, give your opinions. If not, don't. Unless the realization of his dreams will directly-and adversely-impact you, take the passenger seat and go along for the ride.
Say it: "Who am I to censor, improve upon, or otherwise rearrange his dreams? Although I am never one to ignore harsh reality, neither will I dismiss his lofty dream. Rather, I will encourage them."
---Ronn Elmore

Define Common Space

Some couples are lucky enough to have very similar personal habits, pet peeves, and preferences. A great many more find great challenges in the details of home life. Regardless of beliefs, goals and values in common, they steam up over the way to squeeze the toothpaste or the proper place for dirty clothes.

Finding accommodations that both of you can happily live with is certainly the ideal solution to differences in style. Some couples become more similar simply by dint of living together and cease to feel the early tensions of being unique individuals thrown together. Other couples implement a bargaining style to get things done in their home. Each consciously gives way where they feel able and asks for extra consideration where they don't.

But sometimes these solutions just don't work. In such a case, a couple would be will-served to create a neutral territory-perhaps in an area of the house that would ordinarily be considered "public" space. here, it often behooves the less particular partner to accept the need for order and cleanliness that the other partner feels. Of course, living together happily also requires fair play. It's only fair that the other partner be allowed some space where she can kick off her shoes, loosen her collar, and enjoy what is truly comfortable to her.

The key to building a positive life together is always the same: mutual respect. You don't have to change who you are to appreciate a partner who is different. You do have to exercise the will to serve both of your needs, expend the energy to find a satisfactory way to do it, and develop the compassion to truly desire as much freedom and happiness for our partner as for yourself.--Richard Carlson

Make a Date For A Date With Your Mate

Dating your husband or wife will be very different from dating a potential husband. Yet it is just as important. When you were single, dating was a time to get away alone, to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You took time to get away alone, to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You took time to learn more about each other, about your past and your dreams for the future. You gradually felt at ease with each other.

But, you see, even though you’re married, the two of you still need the same thing. You need to get away alone and continue to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You need to learn more about each other, your past and your dreams for the future. You need to feel at ease with each other as you face new challenges together.

That’s why dating shouldn’t stop with marriage. Too often, married couples get settled, caught up in the routine of jobs, church, parenting, and other commitments. Many couples are so busy that they don’t take time to nurture the foundation of their family—their marriage and their relationship with each other. As we know all too well, when that marriage foundation begins to crumble, everything else comes down with it.

Your marriage is your most important relationship after your relationship with God.

Your marriage needs nurturing. Like a plant needs water or a car needs an oil change, your marriage needs consistent attention. It needs care and nurture every day; it needs a special “tune-up” once in a while. You may need to jump-start a habit that needs to be a regular part of your marriage. You need to reconnect with your spouse. You need to work at your marriage.

Wives, you wouldn’t think of buying a plant and refusing to water it, so why do you think your husband can go for days or weeks at a time without some of his most important needs being met?

Keep a marriage together and romance alive takes time. It means making one’s marriage and spouse a priority and setting aside time for only him. In other words, it means planning dates on a regular basis.--article marriage missions

Simple Rules

DO NOT be a clingy wife! Your Husband has a lot on his mind in the morning, planning out his busy affairs for the day. Try not to engage him in conversation about what your plans for the day are or other trivial matters. Always walk him to the door in peace. Make sure to carry with you any of the things he has forgotten so he doesn't need to go back for them, ie cell phone, laptop, briefcase, and files. Offer yourself for a kiss, but if he is too busy to notice, DO NOT POUT. He has a lot of responsibility and the morning is not the time for feminine hysterics. When your Husband gets home from work, do not jump him with problems you've had during the day, or questions about his day. Just wait. He needs time to relax and whine down. Make sure the TV remote or newspaper is next to his chair.

Once he walks in the door, ladies...turn OFF the soaps, talk shows, Internet and off the phone! Wives, this is vital! He may not say anything, but trust. As time goes on, he will bring up in an argument of what you are always doing when he comes home. You want to make your husband feel like a King when he enters into his castle. Give him that undivided attention for at least 15 mins even if he doesn't deserve it. Golden Wives, make sure the house is clean. This is just as important as the first rule. Your home needs to have a pleasant scent whether it's dinner he's smelling or plug in air freshener. I personally like to have a ready snack for my husband after he comes home from a hard day of work. Warm chocolate chips cookies, chips, nuts, kool-aid or whatever is available in the pantry is something to tie over his stomach until dinner is ready. This does make a difference. It shows affection, love, and a simple 'you were thinking about me'. Husbands like that.

Give him time to whine down. Let him enjoy his ESPN, NCIS, news or whatever he likes to watch. Phone calls can wait especially from the house phone. I personally don't answer the house phone when hubby is trying to talk to me about his crazy day. Enjoy the quiet time together. If you have children like me then make the best of it. Give the kids a snack and send them in the basement, outside or to their room for a little while.

After dinner, cleaning up kitchen, and the children are washed and ready for bed, you need to set some time for you. This is where ME TIME comes into play. Reading a book, drinking hot tea, taking a hot bath, doing a little beauty regime, watching your favorite show, or whatever it is, DO IT! Allow God to replenish you during this time. It could be a simple prayer, praise, or worship. We have a lot to be thankful for even if things aren't right in the marriage.

Be sexy at night. Wear something eye catching for yourself and husband. Spray on a little soft scent body spray and pull hair up (if you have long hair) or leave down. Even if you are not in the mood, you still want to be attractive to your husband at night. This speaks volumes. Have fun getting dress. Make it an event even if he doesn't notice (I'm very sure he will).

Yours truly,