Personal Sabbath

With all [the roles she has to fulfill], a woman must be careful not to burn out. There comes a point where even the lady who has great balance has to say, "That is enough. I am tired. I need to be replenished." Different things replenish different people. Find something that refuels and invigorates you. Whether it is a facial or reading a book in the park, steal away to do it. Remember that all withdrawals and no deposits will make any account overdrawn.

You must not neglect yourself. You must not neglect yourself if you want to fulfill your destiny as a leading lady. Don't get caught up in the life-draining role of martyr as an excuse for not taking better care of your body, your mind, an your spirit. You must replenish with God gives you by resting and waiting upon Him. Without the rest of fall and the sleep of winter, fruit trees and rosebushes would not be able to bring forth fruit and flowers when the spring rains and summer suns stimulate them again. Even the most productive farmland must be allowed to lie fallow if it is to remain productive.

Similarly, when the time comes for you to rest, you must get yourself alone with your Father and keep the spectators and beneficiaries of your goodness outside. It will be hard to keep them waiting sometimes, but you will not restore life to your heart or clarity to your vision if you do not have the solitude and sustenance of time alone. In the intimacy of yours prayers and the privacy of your supplications, you will discover enormous power to sustain you for the long haul o a lifetime performance. If you are to weather the numerous challenges and assaults, the frequent changes of course and monotony of the mundane, then you must nurture this relationship with your divine Director above all else. This is the fuel that kindles and rekindles the spark of confidence in the eyes of the [leading lady]. That is temporarily blinded by storm clouds, fog-strewn nights, and oncoming traffic. He is the rain pouring down into the parched patches of your dusty soul.
TD Jakes

Get Moving!

Any amount of exercise is better than none at all, so whatever you do, get moving! Choose exercises you enjoy. If there are none that you enjoy, choose to do them in places you enjoy. Maybe walking in the park might be better for you than walking on a treadmill. Perhaps watching an action movie will make the treadmill more exciting. Try walking with people who want to talk to you. Tell them to hang up the phone and meet you in the park.

Below are some tips and tidbits that will encourage you to start exercising or to improve the work-out program you are already involved in. The are found in The Little Blue Book of Fitness and Health.

• Don't worry if you weight creeps up when you first start to exercise-muscle is heavier then fat. Instead of watching the scales, notice how you r clothes fit.


• Stretch, stretch, stretch. Flexible muscles are stronger and less prone to injury.


• As a general rule, you should burn 2,000 calories in exercise per week. (Running a mile burns 100-150 calories).


• Enjoy your time in the pool-any movement in water burns one-third more calories than the same movement in air.


• When starting weight training, choose a weight that you can readily lift ten times.


• Trim your inner thighs with a low-intensity work-out equipment with little rest in between-to beef up your workout and add variety. For best results, rest no more than sixty seconds in between.

Just a word to those of you who travel: Get the load off of your shoulders! Luggage and laptops and all the things you carry on the plan can be heavy. Carrying such loads as you maneuver through airports (often on the run!) can be bad for your back and neck. Before you step into an airport again, may I encourage you to get a carry-on bag that rolls and on that has a handle long enough for you to roll it comfortably.

T.D.Jakes

A Wardrobe that Works

We know that clothes do not make the woman, but they certainly have a way of communicating about her! It is important for you to have a wardrobe befitting a leading lady and I want to offer some suggestion to help you get there. Start by evaluating what you already have. Get in your closet and be brutal. Take stock of what you have. Some people say that you should get rid of anything you have not worn in the past year and others say two years. You make that decision; I'll presents seven questions to ask yourself as you clean out your closet.

1. Does it reflect the woman that I am today?
2. Does it fit?
3. Is it worn, frayed, or pilled?
4. Is it in style?
5. Does it coordinate well with what I already have?
6. Do I feel confident in it?
7. Is it attractive while being appropriately modest? (This is especially true for business attire.)

Make sure your shoes are clean and polished and the heels are not worn or have frayed edges. Make sure they are not scuffed or scratched. Make an investment in a well-fitting, good-looking pair of shoes you can wear with a variety of outfits.

Find your signature. Whether it is a designer handbag, a strand of pearls like Jackie O., a certain nail color, or the perfect eyeglasses, find something you can wear often that really makes a statement about who you are. Don't forget to find a signature fragrance as well-but don't overdo it!

In many places, three-season fabrics work well-lightweight wools, gabardine, silks,and some cottons. Invest in suits that are made in these fabrics, especially lightweight wools and gabardines, so you can buy higher quality clothing that will look great most or all of the year. Choose your colors carefully so that you can move from winter to spring with ease by just changing your blouse and you accessories. With a crisp white blouse and a brightly colored scarf, that black suit will be as appropriate in May as it was with a turtleneck and boots in October!

Lady, may I be frank? Those garments called "foundations" or "underwear" are well-named. You lingerie needs to stay under what you wear. Just like the foundation of a house, it exists to serve the purpose of supporting and protecting you-not for the purpose of being seen by the world. Keep your straps on you shoulders; keep your slip under you dress; and by all means do not allow the waist band of your briefs or bikinis to show when you bend over!

Have a good all-purpose coat that reflects your personal style. It' hard to go wrong with a classic trench coat in a classic color, but there are many other options, so find the one that's right for you.

T.D.Jakes

Hair, Skin, Nails, and Make-Up

A beautiful girl is a natural wonder; a beautiful woman is a work of art.

Anonymous

There are at least four areas that are crucial to looking your best: your hair (that's your glory, you know!) your skin, your nails, and your makeup. Beauty professionals can custom-make the look that's right for you in each of these areas, but listed below are several tips that apply to everyone.

Invest in a great haircut and learn how to maintain it (to style it yourself and to recognize when it's time to heard back to the salon). It's funny, great haircuts are like great food: you can pay lots of money to get them in an elegant atmosphere, but you can also get a fabulous cut for $25 in a place that looks like a dive! The important thing is to find a stylist ho is part good listener and part artist. Find someone who understands who you are and what your life is about and who has the ability to translate that to your head! Don't try to go about your grown-up business with high school hair!

Have a professional makeover as often as you can afford to. Your made-up face is the one the world sees, so you want to make sure your makeup is current (not dated) and that you know how to apply it as you age.

Have your nails done as often as possible. Not only is a manicure a relaxing treat, it ensures that your hands and nails will be attractive and well-groomed. I know one woman who found a nail color that worked so well on her that it became part of her signature look-you might consider that too!

You've heard before that the skin is the largest organ of the human body. Skin looks best when it is smooth and silky. Whether we are talking about your arms, your legs, or the bottoms of your feet, the key to silky skin is to moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. Remember that no man wants to crawl in bed with a crocodile!

The skin on your face requires extra care. Understand what type of skin you have and how to take care of it. If you don't know, ask a salesperson at the cosmetics counter of your choosing. Pay particular attention to the skin around your eyes, which wrinkles more quickly than other places on your face.

T.D.Jakes

Start With Radiance

It is who you are on the inside that should define what you choose to do with your outside.

I love to see a woman who feels comfortable in the beauty of herself and her accoutrements. It's nice to wear beautiful clothes and to take enough pride in our Lord's creation of us to fulfill His design. But if you've ever had a makeover yourself, or even simply tried a new look, then you know that it's not just what we see in the mirror that defines who we are.

You've heard it said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and lady, you need to behold yourself and declare yourself beautiful! There is a confidence that simply radiates from a woman who know she is beautiful not because of what she sees in the mirror but because of what she gazes upon in her heart. The truth of the matter is that nothing-not designer clothes, not expensive cosmetics or those pumps-to-die-for will cover up or compensate for a woman who is not radiant on the inside.

That inner glow comes from the fire in the heat of a woman who knows who she is and Whose she is. That fire is ignited and stroked by her confidence in God and by her unshakable conviction that He loves her. When a lady is grounded in the Father's love, there is a stability about her, a solidness, a security, and a deep, abiding joy that shows up on her face as pure radiance. Once a woman knows Whose she is and know that nothing and no one can threaten her position as the Lord's beloved, she is then able to hear His voice as He defines her being, as He tells her what is special and unique about her, and as He shares with her the purpose for which He has created her. There is no substitute for the radiance that is born of this kind of relationship with Him and it is the foundation of every true form of external beauty.

The greater part of your beauty cannot be bought, taken off a rack, applied like lipstick, or put on like a hat. The greater part of your attractiveness lies within; it wells up from the inside and finds an appropriate creative expression on the outside.
T.D.Jakes

The Lady Looks Good

Your body appreciates with use. God didn't make your body to wear out with use, like the cares and appliances that depreciate in a few years. God made your body to become stronger and healthier the more you use it.

It's amazing what a difference the right clothes, a great haircut, well-applied makeup and some good old-fashioned know-how can make in a woman! If you are going to be a leading lady, you must look like one. We all know that a woman's beauty is not all external, but it does help to be well-groomed and polished because the way you present yourself reflects the way you feel about yourself-and leading ladies know very well how special and how valuable they are. They know that they are worth investing in themselves and taking the time and effort required to look their best. After all, isn't that what being a leading lady is all about-being the best in every area of your life?

Whether or not you can afford designer clothes and expensive jewelry is not my concern in this series. My only goal is to help you maximize what you have and help you move down the road toward looking like a million bucks!

T.D. Jakes

The Lady and Her Lord

Introduction

There is no relationship the lady can experience that is any more fulfilling than the relationship that exists between her and her Lord. It is being held in His everlasting arms that brings about healing from the damages that she has incurred in her pursuit of every other relationship. In His arms she finds restoration. There will be times she feels like a little girl, and in His presence she will climb into the lap of a loving Father whose wound wisdom, counsel, and consistent love will insulate her from the adversary whom she must fight. Her Father becomes her protector. He protects her by His Spirit. He counsels her by His Word. He forgives her through His blood, and she is safe in His arms.

He is the solace that heals the feminine soul and renews her mind. He is the missing ingredient that adds validity to every other pursuit of her life. Of she gains everything and fails to know Him, she has nothing at all. His love for her is so pure that she will find none other like it. It is not predicated on her performance, her appearance, or her intellectual capacity. He has loved her before she was formed in the womb of her mother. His love is holy. It becomes the foundation her character is built upon. The woman who knows the love of God is not desperate for the love of her husband because in His arms she has already found that for which her soul thirsts. Now, this is not to say that having Christ will fulfill every void she has as a woman. But her satisfaction in His presence is so complete that it removes her far away from the desperate need for affection and affirmation that leads other women to grope and grasp blindly in the night. She can run to Him in every crisis and know that He will not fail her, He will not desert her, He will not leave her, and He will not change.

T.D. Jakes

Coming Soon

Hello lovely ladies! I will be doing a mini series from the book 'God's Leading Ladies,' by T.D. Jakes. This workbook has helped me out tremendously and I'm want to share with you all. This series covers the grace, poise, and style that I was mentioning as the blog description. So this upcoming week will be the mini series on the workbook. I will make the entries available to print out, so feel free to copy and share. I'm very sure that all will benefit from it.

Alright Golden Wives, enjoy the rest of your weekend. God Bless.

Summer Sizzling Skin

Summer is approaching and it is time to start getting your skin beach-ready! You can buy store products but another alternative is to make your own concoctions. Just mixing a shimmery eye shadow or bronzing powder to your favorite foundation or lotion can do the trick.

TIPS
1) To achieve a glistening look you will want to exfoliate your skin using a stimulating bath scrub like Bliss, Fatgirl Scrub, $38, blissworld.com. This will remove dead skin cells and allow your new luminous skin to surface.

2) Brush upward toward your heart which stimulates the lymph system releasing toxins that produce cellulite.

3) Next, use a body wash that adds shimmer which enhances tanned skin or your natural skin tone. Pick scents that have the aroma of summer like mango, coconut, watermelon, meadow foam, and sea breeze. We like Olay Body Wash Plus Tone Enriching Ribbons, $5.29, drugstores.

4) Keep your skin hydrated with an iridescent moisturizing lotion or oil. You'll love Jergen's Soft Shimmer, $7.49, drugstores, which gives the skin a healthy vibrancy with subtle light reflectors.

Nalo Jones

Is Oral Sex Permissible?

Clifford and Joyce Penner, in their excellent book The Gift of Sex, give this definition of oral sex: “Oral sex or oral stimulation is the stimulation of your partner’s genitals with your mouth, lips, and tongue. The man may stimulate the woman’s clitoris and the opening of the vagina with his tongue or the woman many pleasure the man’s penis with her mouth.” This sexual stimulation may or may not lead to orgasm for the husband and wife.
What does Scripture say about this sexual activity? Most theologians say the Scriptures are silent about oral-genital sex. Some believe two verses in the Song of Solomon may contain veiled references to oral sex. The first is Song of Solomon 2:3:

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest,so is my beloved among the young men.In his shade I took great delight and sat down,and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Throughout the Song of Solomon, the word fruit refers to the male genitals. In extra biblical literature, fruit is sometimes equated with the male genitals or with semen, so it is possible that here we have a faint and delicate reference to an oral genital caress.
The second possible veiled reference is found in Song of Solomon 4:16 (KJV):

Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south;blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out.Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.

These erotic words spoken by Solomon’s bride are at the culmination of a very sensuous love scene. Shulamith asks her husband to blow on her garden (a poetic reference used throughout the Song for the vagina) and cause its spices to flow out. Of course one cannot be certain, but it is possible Shulamith is inviting her husband to excite her by caressing her with his mouth. She then invites him to enter her and feast on the pleasures waiting in her “garden.”
Dr. Douglas Rosenau believes Scripture is silent on the topic of oral sex. “This does not make it right or wrong,” he says. A key emphasis in the New Testament is Christian liberty. Nothing is unclean in itself, says Paul (Romans 14:14), and this presumably includes sexual variety. Lewis Smedes, professor of theology at Fuller Seminary, amplifies Paul’s statement abut nothing being unclean.
Christian liberty sets us free from culturally invented “moral” taboos; and since there is no rule from heaven, it is likely that the only restraint is the feeling of the other person. For example, if one partner has guilt feelings about oral sex play, the Christian response of the other will be to honor the partner until they adjust their feelings. On the other hand, if the partner has only aesthetic reservations, and if these are rooted in some fixed idea that sex is little more than a necessary evil anyway, they have an obligation to be taught, tenderly and lovingly, of the joys of sex in the freedom of Christ.
In Intended for Pleasure, Dr. and Mrs. Ed Wheat says that oral sex is a matter that concerns only the husband and wife involved. If both find it enjoyable and pleasant, then it may properly fit into the couple’s lovemaking practices. One goal of lovemaking is to fill a treasure trove of memories with delightful love experiences that will quicken your responses during your future times together.

One minister’s wife blushes happily as she recalls a memo her husband sent requesting her presence for an urgent “appointment.”

RUN DON’T WALK! YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS EXCITING, DYNAMIC, RIPPING, SLEEP-DEFYING MEETING. Details follow: Would you like to have a meeting in the bathtub? (Loving massage and oral sex included.)
I love you,

Your husband

One woman might feel horrified by the above playful interchange between a husband and wife. To her, oral sex is repulsive. Another may think the minister and his wife have a gloriously free, creative, and fun sexual relationship. She sees that oral sex adds a beautiful dimension to this couple’s lovemaking.
Before we go any further, let us clarify our intent in this chapter. Are we suggesting you incorporate oral sex into your love play? No. We are not making recommendations. Instead, our purpose is to set out for you what Scripture prohibits and to encourage you to seek God’s wisdom concerning His personal recommendations for your marriage.
Each couple is different. Each husband and wife is unique. Because Scripture is either silent —or veiled —concerning this practice, the only way to discover what God allows for you is for you to ask Him. If you’ve never talked to God about your sexual relationship, now is a good time to start. You will not shock God. Remember, sex was His idea. God is a God of wisdom (Daniel 2:20). He promises that when we lack wisdom, if we ask Him, He will give it to us (James 1:5).
As you seek God’s wisdom, you might find it helpful to ask these three questions about any sexual practice you and your husband are considering:

• Is it prohibited in Scripture? If not, we may assume it is permitted. “Everything is permissible for me,” (1 Corinthians 6:12).

• Is it beneficial? Does the practice in any way harm the husband or wife or hinder the sexual relationship? If so, it should be rejected. “Everything is permissible for me—but not everything is beneficial.” (1 Corinthians 6:12).

• Does it involve anyone else? Sexual activity is sanctioned by God for husband and wife only. If a sexual practice involves someone else or becomes public, it is wrong based on Hebrews 13:4, which warns us to keep the marriage bed undefiled.
http://www.marriagemissions.com/

Always seek God on the matter of oral sex. One of my friends said that the Lord told her not to defile His mouth piece. I personally am waiting for confirmation, clarity and assurance on the matter for my sex life in the marriage. Thanks for reading and God bless you.

Nagging

I should probably say a few words about nagging, because it’s such an easy thing for wives to fall into. Let’s face it. Our husbands don’t always keep up their end of the bargain, and nagging seems to come naturally to us in those moments. Maybe your husband is sitting on the couch watching TV, even though the kids need their bath (the job he agreed to do). Maybe he hasn’t taken out the garbage yet, and tomorrow is trash day. You mention it once: “Honey, it’s almost time for the kids to go to bed, and they really need a bath first.” Or, “Sweetheart, did you remember that trash day is tomorrow?” But he hasn’t moved an inch.
You’re not going to nag, are you? Let’s identify nagging so you know what it looks like. How else can you guard against it?
Typically nagging shows up in one or a combination of the following, depending on the circumstances:

1. Repeating a command or demand more than once
2. Using a disrespectful or whiny tone
3. Huffing off when he doesn’t do what you want him to do
4. Grumbling and complaining aloud or under your breath
5. Standing over him with your arms crossed, tapping your big toe on the floor, or wagging your pointer finger in his face.
6. Giving the silent treatment

If you can’t nag, what can you do? Here are a few simple rules for getting your husband to do his part around the house.

Rule #1: Clearly communicate the details of what you expect.

Most nagging can be eliminated from the onset through good communication and realistic expectations. Often, nagging is the result of trying to get our husbands to do things they never agreed to do in the first place.
Be reasonable and realistic in your expectations of what “must be done” by your spouse. And recognize when you need to back off. Some things can wait, but for some unknown reason we want them done now. If the need isn’t immediate, relax a little and determine a reasonable time frame for finishing the task. The more you bring your husband in on the thinking process, the less imploring you’ll need to do.

Rule #2: Speak in a kind, soothing, and respectful voice.

A rude tone of voice can cause your husband to dig in his heels all the more. You can be firm, yet loving. Serious, yet kind. Use your voice and tone diplomatically to get the best results.

Rule #3: Explain the consequences.

Say, “If you don’t stop by the store on your way home from work, we won’t have any milk for your cereal in the morning.” Or, “If you don’t put out the trash tonight, our backyard will smell like rotten eggs until the next trash day.” It doesn’t hurt to set a humorous tone! For example: If the garage isn’t cleaned out by winter, you’re not going to have a place to put the car, and you’re going to get very cold scraping the ice off your windshield every morning.”

Rule #4: Be open for a good trade.

Instead of nagging, offer to trade one of your jobs for his. “Hey, honey, I’ll make a deal with you. If you can’t give the kids their bath now, I’ll take care of it tonight, and you can take care of writing the bills for me tomorrow night.” Guys love bargaining power!

Rule #5: If applicable, offer to pay someone else to do it.

Depending on what needs to be done, suggest paying someone else to do the task. This will accomplish one of two things: It will either shift him into high gear because he’s a miser and doesn’t want to pay money out of his pocket; or it will make him happy because the job’s off his shoulders and you’re off his back. Either way, the job gets done.

http://www.marriagemissions.com/

Coping With Change After Your First Baby Is Born

Dedicated to my good friend Pam. Congrats!

I know it's not the 1st baby,but it's the first for you two :o)

Love you!

What’s really going to change? I can answer that question in one word: everything! And the changes start as soon as you either decide you are ready to have children or find out that you are pregnant. Your communication skills will be put to the test in this stage and will prove essential in your adjustment and continued feelings of closeness and satisfaction.

Once the baby arrives, you may ask, “Whatever happened to sleeping in, spontaneity, late-night movies, and holding hands?” Baby happened, that’s what. No matter how much you each wanted this new little bundle of joy, you need to be prepared for rough waters ahead.

The changes that occur at the birth of your first child are immeasurable, and at some point you will realize that life will never be the same again. This stage includes an emotional roller coaster such as you could never have imagined. You go from the joy of seeing your new creation for the first time to the fear of being inadequate as a parent, from the pride of watching your child develop and learn each new skill to the loneliness of feeling disconnected from your spouse. And on and on the roller coaster goes.
This new stage of your relationship requires that you change certain expectations of how much energy you will have at the end of the day for conversation or housework. How you define closeness and intimacy may need to be changed as well.

Be aware of changes in your personal emotional needs. Mom often begins to develop an emotional need for family commitment that was not there before. She may need to see her husband actively participating in the parenting and will feel close to him as she watches him in his role as a father.

On the other hand, dad often develops an increased need to feel he is providing adequately for his new family. The responsibilities of finances and job may increase his need for admiration from his wife for the role he is performing. As these emotional needs change, it is essential that you identify them within yourself and then talk to your spouse. I have yet to meet the spouse who is a flawless mind reader; so if you want your spouse to know that your needs are changing, then say so.

Not only is a couple’s perception of time changing, but the actual amount of time that they can choose what to do with decreases tremendously. A couple will have only about one-third as much discretionary time after the baby is born as they had before their first child. With the overwhelming demands of caring for a new baby added to all the requirements of daily living already present, something is going to have to give. And unfortunately, that “something” is usually the marriage, and more specifically-the spouse. After all, isn’t he or she big enough to take care of himself or herself?

Ten Steps to Survive and Thrive through the First Quarter
1. Be flexible and do no expect perfection. Remember, everything is changing, and it takes time to adjust and find your way through this new maze of responsibilities and roles. Being flexible, both with yourself and your spouse, will reduce tension. There is no “right” way to parent. You will develop a routine that works for the two of you and your baby.
Do not worry if it is not the same as the way some of your friends are doing it. Avoid setting unrealistic expectations for either of you or the baby. Be sure to take time to share with each other if you feel that unrealistic expectations are forming, and then discuss these openly.

2. Find a balance. For now, the needs and demands of your baby will likely take center stage in this three-ring circus you are calling a marriage. But remember, there are two other rings to attend to as well—you and your spouse. Doing little things to take care of your spouse and yourself can make all the difference in the world. While the baby naps, do something for one or both of you instead of focusing on catching up on household chores. For example, take a nap, call a friend, read a magazine, or chat with your spouse.

3. Talk to each other every day. Take time every day to check in with each other. Talk about changing expectations and needs, division of labor, disappointments and fears about parenting, whatever you want—just keep talking. Remember that communication involves both talking and listening. You need to be the best listener you can possibly be if you want your spouse to continue to share with you his or her deepest thoughts, feelings, fears, and needs.

4. Get out of the house. This can be with or without the baby, because both can be fun. Fresh air, fresh faces, and fresh conversation can help you avoid feeling that the world is passing you by. Get out there and be a part of the activities that you and your spouse choose together. This will help contain feelings of loneliness and isolation that many parents of young children experience.

5. Develop a couple-centered, not a child-centered, relationship. This is the first time in your relationship that you have to choose who really comes first. Starting right here and now, determine that the couple comes before the children. The order of priorities must be God first, marriage second, and children third if you want your marriage to continue to grow stronger through each of the consecutive stages.

If you make your children your number one or even number two priority, their never-ending need for attention will eat up everything you have to give, and the rest of your life will suffer because of it. Love your children, provide for them, and meet their needs. But remember that one of their most important needs is to have parents who really love each other.

6. Become co-parents, not compulsive parents. One of the major problems I see couples having today has to do with the “super-parent” role so many of us believe we have to take on. Moms and dads alike (usually moms more than dads at this stage) can fall into the trap of believing they are the only person who can adequately care for the baby. Somehow they forget that many a parent has come and gone before them and has learned to care adequately for these helpless little creatures just as they have.
But when it comes to their baby, they are convinced that it has to be done a certain way, and no one can do it as well as they can. This can even apply to the other parent. Becoming a compulsive parent will only isolate you and eventually lead to parenting burnout. Parents need breaks and need to support each other.

7. Redefine romance. Let’s face it, intimacy and romance as they were once defined become much more difficult once you become a parent. The availability of privacy and time for just the two of you may seem almost nonexistent. And when it is available, you may not have the energy to focus or perform.
During this stage of parenting, find new ways to stay connected physically. You may find yourselves touching more often in nonsexual ways and wanting to cuddle up together at night, even though you may not desire anything more. Be patient with each other in this area, and remind each other that “this too shall pass” and you will be able to regain spontaneous, uninterrupted lovemaking in the future.

8. Establish an outside support network. This includes friends and family you can call on for help on an especially stressful day or who are there as a sounding board and to offer advice. This also includes anyone you can hire to help out with daily chores such as housecleaning, laundry, meal preparation, and lawn mowing. And don’t forget those moms’ groups, Bible studies, and couples from church that can help fill your need for adult conversation. If someone offers to help out, accept! Don’t try to go it alone.

9. Schedule couple time. Busy couples do not just find time for each other; they make time for each other. Taking time to connect with your spouse every day is an essential element to keeping a marriage strong. Remember to kiss every day, hug each other as you leave and return home, sit together holding hands while you watch television. These little connection times can make all the difference in the world in helping the two of you feel treasured by each other.
Set aside a large block of time to spend together at least once a week. Hire a babysitter, get away from the house and baby, and remember who you married and why. You did not get married to have children; you got married because you were in love with each other. Now, while you are raising children, keep reminding each other what it is you love about each other. Spending time together, dating, and talking with each other are the best ways to do this.

10. Develop a sense of humor, because when all else fails (and it probably will at least once in a while), it helps to laugh!

http://www.marriagemissions.com/

Let What You Say and What You Mean Be the Same

Men are generally more literal-minded than women. They can appreciate symbolism, suggestion, and subtlety, but your best bet with your husband is to say exactly what you mean, the way you mean it. Then he can get busy responding to what you really meant, rather than what he may only think you meant.

Whenever you open your mouth to send a message to the man in your life, expect him to believe you mean what you say. You make knowing and understanding you much easier when you say what you mean and mean what you say in the first place. Do it, and you'll find out that the risk of confusion and misunderstanding is automatically and dramatically reduced.
It's a simple point, but full of practical value in the business of relating to a man: If you say it, mean it. If you don't, don't. Sending mixed messages with a little yes, a little no, and a little maybe in them will eventually leave at least one of you with tight jaws and hurt feelings.

Don't say: "Whatever you decide is all right with me..." when what you really mean is "I'm counting on you to make a decision based on what you know I want."

Don't say: "That's ok; it didn't matter..." When what you really mean is: "That will be the last time you will ever do that to me!"
You may be quite surprised to how offended he doesn't get when you offer him the pure, buck-naked what's on your mind. You need no to be rude or insensitive; just honestly and consistently say what you mean.

Say it: "The world's greatest authority on what I'm thinking, feeling,, or meaning is me. For him to know what I really mean, requires that I say it and mean it when I do."
Do it: Spend the day with a friend. Tell them you are determined to practice saying exactly what you mean the entire time. Ask your friend to check you and challenge you to shoot straight and avoid confusing double-talk. At the end of the day grade yourself,and get a grade from your companion.
Dr. Ronn Elmore

Be Careful: Your Husband Will Seek Affirmation Somewhere

Have you ever noticed how the adulterous woman in the book of Proverbs seduces the unwitting young man? It’s not with sex (okay, it’s not just with sex); it’s with flattery. “She threw her arms around him… and with a brazen look she said, “I’ve offered my sacrifices and just finished my vows. It’s you I was looking for!’ …With her flattery she enticed him. He followed her at once” (from Proverbs 7).
Flattery is simply a seductive counterfeit for affirmation. As one marriage counselor said, “Affirmation is everything. When a man is affirmed, he can conquer the world. When he’s not, he is sapped of his confidence and even his feeling of manhood. And believe me, he will, consciously or unconsciously, seek out places where he receives affirmation.”

Home is the most important place for a man to be affirmed. If a man knows that his wife believes in him, he is empowered to do better in every area of his life. A man tends to think of life as a competition and a battle, and he can energetically fight it out if he can come home to someone who supports him unconditionally, who will wipe his brow and tell him he can do it. As one of our close friends told me, “It’s all about whether my wife thinks I can do it. A husband can slay dragons, climb mountains, and win great victories if he believes his wife believes that he can.”

Don’t tear him down!
If instead of affirming, a wife reinforces her husband’s feelings of inadequacy, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if we focus on our attention on what he is doing wrong in the relationship, we can unwittingly undermine what we most want—for him to do it right.
But I discovered a dismaying fact. Of the men I surveyed, only one man in four felt actively appreciated by his family. And 44 percent of men actually felt unappreciated at home. More pointedly, men in their prime years of responsibility for home, children, and work —men between their ages of thirty-six and fifty-five —felt even less appreciated.
I’ll bet that many of the wives or girlfriends of these men would be surprised to learn that they didn’t feel appreciated. My guess is that most of us do appreciate our men but don’t show it enough.

He’ll seek affirmation somewhere
If a man isn’t convinced that his woman thinks he’s the greatest, he will tend to seek affirmation elsewhere. He may spend more hours at work, where he feels alive and on top of his game, or he may spend too much time talking to the admiring female associate. He may immerse himself in watching or playing sports, feeling the thrill of the competitive rush. Or he may retreat to his workshop or his home office, feeling like he can control things there even if he feels inadequate and clumsy elsewhere.
“Why else do you think,” one man asked me, “so many men take sports so seriously? It’s something they feel good at, something they’ve practiced. They are admired and encouraged by other men on the field. People say ‘good hit?’ or ‘good shot!’ or show by tightening their defense that they know you’re about to smoke them. There’s nothing like that feeling. But I feel that same way at home when my wife applauds me for bringing in a big business deal or brags to her friends about what a good father I am. It’s that same feeling.”

Several experts said that a chronic lack of affirmation is one reason so many men slip into pornography addiction. For whatever reason, they feel like less than a man, so they seek —and find! —affirmation in pornography. As one man pointed out, “All those women in the men’s magazines convey one message: ‘I want you, and you are the most desirable man in the world.’ My wife may be nagging me at home, the kids may be disobedient, and I may be worried about messing up at work, but look at the woman in that picture makes me feel like a man.”

If affirmation is indeed everything, why should a man have to look for it in other places when he has a wife who loves and respects him? There’s nothing wrong with work, sports, or hobbies— it’s wonderful for him to feel alive and encouraged in those pursuits— but they shouldn't’t have to be a retreat from an un-affirming home life.

Create a safety zone
Obviously, if many of our men spend their workdays feeling like they are always being watched and judged, it is no wonder that they want to come home to a totally accepting environment, where they can safely let their guard down. Men need a place where they can make their mistakes in peace and not constantly worry that they are one misstep away from being exposed.
If we don’t realize this and are perhaps too attentive to their mistakes at home, we risk creating a situation that is the opposite of what we want. Most of us want our men to be able to relax and truly open up to us. But in many ways, it is up to us to create the intimate, safe environment that makes that possible.
We may think that the adage, “his home must be his haven” is antiquated and unnecessary these days, but that is far from the truth. In fact, as the workplace has gotten harsher and less loyal, more demanding and less tolerant of mistakes, I’d say it’s even more important that a man’s home be a haven. Most of the men crave a retreat from the daily pressure of always having to perform.

The gift of confidence
We might think we wouldn’t have the ability to change our man’s feelings of workplace inadequacy, but we would be wrong. By staunchly supporting our men, showing that we believe in them, and providing an emotionally safe environment to come home to, we can help give them at least the emotional confidence they need to dive back into the daily workplace fray.

author unknown

Don't Be Too Pooped To Pucker

Romantic marriage rule #1: Don’t be too pooped to pucker
Do you have 20 seconds a day to devote to your marriage?
If you can manage one-third of a minute a day, they suggest dividing it between a passionate kiss when you part in the morning and another when you meet again at night. Most people find it’s a longer lip lock than they expect.
A kiss is important because how couples greet each other “sets the emotional tone for intimacy for the whole rest of the evening,” said Parrot, who co-wrote “When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages” with her husband, Les. “If you start off with ‘What’s for dinner?’ or ‘Did you get the mail?’ that sets a different tone.”

Time Together:
Finding time for each other can be challenging for parents, who sometimes sacrifice romance to the demands of children and busy schedules.
Parents today “really take their parenting role seriously, often at the expense of their own relationship,” David Arp said. “It’s always, ‘Next month we’ll have time for us.’ But it never quite happens.”

“Parents let the ‘goodies’ the fun, friendship and intimacy that brought them together in the 1st place fall by the wayside,” Jordan said. “Life gets very hectic, and children and work clamor for attention. A relationship doesn’t until it’s in bad shape.”

For many new parents, the sudden switch from “all-us” time to “all-baby” time is difficult, Parrot said. “You trade in your couple relationship for a family-centered relationship,” she noted. While for most it’s a positive trade, parents might mourn the loss of their close coupledom.

Date Night:
Postponing romance until kids leave the house shouldn’t be an option. Romance when kids are around is tepid, at best. So parents always end up with the well-worn favorite: date night. “When parents schedule time together regularly, they’re amazed at how different their lives look afterward,” said Jordan. “They’re much less angry with each other. It really makes a difference.”
The Jacobson’s go out to dinner or get dessert so they can talk instead of seeing a movie. Sometimes they walk or sit by the lake. A different setting helps you focus on your partner —”Oh right, that’s why I married you” —rather than the mundane details of the day,” said Jacobson, whose children range in age from 10 to 17.

If parents don’t make an effort to stay connected in small ways, however, the slights and problems build up and they end up fighting during their precious alone time. “Separate the business of the relationship from the pleasure of the relationship,” Jordan advised. “Otherwise, the first time you’re away from the kids, you’ll end up in an argument about an item from the checkbook.”

Understanding the three facets of love passion, intimacy and commitment can help parents understand what might be missing from their relationship. Then they can spend their date time filling that need, Parrott said. She and her husband rate their love life on a scale of 1 to 10 using each of the 3 factors. “Many times, my passion is a 2,” said Parrott, who has a 4-year-old son. “Parents have lots of opportunities for passion to be do used.”
In that case, she said, seeing a movie is probably not going to be a fulfilling date. “We don’t have time as parents to be sloppy in keeping love alive,” she said.

“You see so many marriages crumbling,” Jacobson said. “You have to be proactive and take care of your marriage. It’s not something that’s just going to happen.”
Having friendship as the basis for their relationship helps them communicate quickly about important things without wasting time fighting, Jacobson said. “It hasn’t always been perfect,” she said.

“But no matter how many years go by, our relationship feels quite fresh. One of the secrets of staying in love is falling in love over and over. You can learn the same things about a person, but on deeper and deeper levels.”
Stephanie Dunnewind

Vaginal Rejuvenation

I was watching one of my favorite shows, Dr. 90210 and that's when I found out about this. There was this lady on the Dr. 90210 show needing vagina rejuvenation. She said that every time she laughs or sneeze she has some urine spillage due to giving birth to big babies. Her and husband are in the office while the doctor explains the procedures of the operation. Before the consultation was over with, the Dr. asked the woman, "how tight do you want to be?" Then Dr. proceeded to say, "do you want to be like a 13yr old, 16 again, or 21yr old?" Meanwhile her husband had the biggest smirk on his face, the woman was blushing saying, "uhhhh, 16yr. old." Her husband was happy and the Dr. was laughing saying, "great choice and I"m sure your husband will enjoy it!"

So now I'm thinking. Am I stretched out? Is my husband satisfied? Would he like a tighter cooch? I too had children, three. Although they weren't big babies, I delivered all three naturally. Went to hubby and asked, "am I loose?" Of course he had no idea what I was talking about. "Babe, would you like for me to have a tighter vagina (didn't use the word vagina, lol)." "Do you men like it very tight?" He looked at me and said, "no." Wives, I couldn't believe he said that. I told him about the men on t.v. and how they were acting (like fools) when these women get vagina rejuvenation. He laughed. He said that not all men want it tight or too tight. I asked him does it bring better satisfaction and he said not really. My hubby thinks I'm perfect in that area. I was really shock! I was considering it too, but to my surprise he put a stop to it. So wives, it depends on your man, but more importantly it depends on you.

They say to do Kegel's, but I don't like it. It does nothing for me, also it seems like forever before you may notice any results. Still haven't felt any results. Read up and check it out!


Tightening and Re-Building the Vagina
About the vaginal rejuvenation™ and vagina tightening procedures:

"When the vagina becomes stretched from aging and child birth vaginal rejuvenation™ tightens and restores the vagina and supporting structures to a "pre-pregnancy" state, thereby re-establishing friction that increases sexual gratification for both women and men!
In vaginal relaxation, the muscles are relaxed and have poor tone, strength, and control. The internal and external diameters increase. The muscles of the perineum are weak and poorly supported. Under these circumstances, the vagina is no longer at its optimum physiological state. As a result, the sensual side of sexual gratification is diminished. Vaginal rejuvenation™ can enhance sexual gratification for women who for whatever reason lack an overall optimum architectural integrity of the vagina.

No one wants to age or lose optimal function anywhere, and this includes the vaginal and vulvar structures. Some doctors use a laser and some do not, please ask your surgeon which method they utilize.

Vaginal Rejuvenation™ Costs:
Depending on your choice of doctor and geographic location vaginal rejuvenation™ prices may range between $4500 and $9000."

Before and After Photos:
http://www.lasertreatments.com/labiaplasty_before_and_after_pictures.html

Sexy Hairdos

Have you ever notice how your husband respones when you come home with a fresh new 'do? I don't know what it is, but the hair says it all. You could have the hottest outfit, but if your hair isn't sharp to compliment the rest, then forget it! Whether you do weave, rollers, braids, perms, or natural make sure your mane is well kept.

Variety is the spice of life. Changing up your hairstyle is a sure way to give yourself a lift. And there's nothing like the allure of pillow hair to get your spouse's attention. Make sure you use products that does best for your hair. All these years I would try to find one brand product line that would be suitable for all of my hair needs. Well, I'm at peace now having many different brand products for my hair. Example: Creme of Nature Shampoo, Razac finishing creme, Soft Sheen Jam, African Pride oil, Bigen, Lottabody wrapping foam, and Mizani just to name a few. One of my girlfriends introduced me to this new product called Kinky Curly Custard which I will be adding to my collection.

Your hair is worth the investment, so make sure you give it the proper attention it needs.

Here are a few easy tips to get you started:
Don't get stuck on trends. Start with a versatile cut that works with your hair texture.

Find a colour that's flattering for you and realistic for your hair whether its a solid colour, highlights, a rinse whatever. This keeps your hair looking great longer and with less effort.

Shine and condition always say youre healthy and ready for action. Try a gloss or a regular conditioning treatment. There are many excellent do-at-home products out there.

For more drama, tuck a clip-on hairpiece into your own hair. They're super easy and many come already curled or straight so the works already done. For short hair, choose one that's mid-length for a more natural look.

Do not underestimate the power of the 'do. I promise, it'll be well worth a little extra effort!
Author for tips: billy

What Every Wife Should Know About Her Husband

No one plays as significant a role in meeting a man’s unique needs as his wife. Researchers have identified his needs, but only his wife can truly satisfy them. Some of your husband’s most basic needs in marriage are:

(1) to be admired

(2) to have autonomy

(3) to enjoy shared activity

He Needs to be Admired

Being appreciated is a man’s primary need. He measures his worth through his achievements, big and small, and needs them to be recognized. A woman’s need for admiration and appreciation, while certainly important, is rarely as strong. When a woman seeks appreciation she is more accurately wanting to be understood, to be validated. You see, there is a significant difference between men and women when it comes to being admired. Men derive their worth more from what they do, while women derive their worth more from who they are.
Look at it this way. When women do not receive admiration from their spouse, they tend to be more motivated than ever to earn it. But when a man does not receive admiration from his spouse, he begins to lose motivation to try. Without a feeling of being admired, a man’s energy is drained. He soon feels inadequate and incapable of giving support. Without being admired, men lose their will to give.

You have no idea how damaging a critical statement is to your man’s personal power. He responds to not being admired the same way you do when he invalidates your feelings. It is demoralizing.
Admiration is the fuel a man needs to get going. It gives him power.

Now, before you begin heaping words of praise on your spouse, I need to give you a word of caution. Never fake your admiration. By simply saying flattering words to your husband, you can do more harm than good. To have any value, praise must genuinely reflect your feelings.

He Needs to Have Autonomy

Men and women cope differently with stress. Whenever a man is under stress (an important deadline is approaching, he is under pressure at work, etc.), he requires a little space.
At such times he becomes absent-minded, unresponsive, absorbed, and preoccupied. Unlike women, men typically don’t want to talk about the situation, they don’t want to be held or comforted—not until they have had time to themselves.

Some wives complain because their husbands don’t immediately talk about their day when they come home from work. They first want to read the paper (watch ESPN like mines) or water the lawn, anything to clear their mind before engaging in the relationship. It’s a male thing. But giving your husband space when he needs it, whether you understand it or not, will gain you a happier husband.

Enjoy Shared Activity
Husbands place surprising importance on having their wives as recreational companions. The commercial caricature of men out in the wilderness, drinking, “It doesn’t get any better than this,” is false. It can get a lot better than that when a wife joins her husband in a shared activity that he enjoys.

If your activities have very little in common, then cultivate your spheres of interest. Don’t allow you and your partner to drift apart because you can’t find something enjoyable to do together. Some marriages fizzle because a wife didn’t use her creative energies to build enjoyable moments of fun and relaxation with her husband.
Think of activities that you might find somewhat pleasurable. Your next task is to schedule these activities into your recreational time together.
If you learn to meet your husband’s need for recreational companionship, you will discover that you are not only husband and wife, but best friends too.

author unknown.

Coping With Your Husband’s Annoying Habits

What’s your husband’s most annoying habit? Is it the way he slurps his cereal or cracks his knuckles? Is it the way he breathes, as one woman once complained?
The longer you’ve been married, the longer your list of pet peeves is bound to be. It’s not so much that your husband has added more bad habits over the years, but simply that the ones that were easy to put up with in the early days of your marriage have gradually eaten away at your nerves. Now they’ve reached that really tender spot that makes you yell “Ouch!” — and the honeymoon Novocain has worn off.
How can you deal with irritating habits? Try speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Point out to your husband, in a calm voice and preferably with a sense of humor, that what he is doing really irritates you. Perhaps he’ll make an effort to change his ways. Old habits are very hard to break, though, so don’t expect miracles.

Once the behavior has been named, you can express your feelings the next time he repeats it. It’s far better to say, “You’re really irritating me again,” than to actually be driven crazy by holding in the anger.
Meanwhile, try to admit that you may have irritating habits yourself. Perhaps if you ask your husband to identify your little quirks and then spend time working on those, you won’t keep concentrating on his.
If this approach doesn’t work, consider wearing a “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelet. The bracelet itself might not be an ideal choice for your jewelry collection, but its motto is well worth remembering — especially at stressful moments. I’ve been thinking about printing “What Would Jesus Do?” on a sticky note and attaching it to our bathroom mirror. Then the next time I find the cap-less tube of toothpaste lying in a pool of sticky, cool mint gel, I might not lose my cool.

Don’t forget to pray for your husband. Ask for patience. Take your complaints to the Lord and leave them there. Trust Him to make things better between the two of you.
It might also help to write a list of things that are irritating you to distraction. When you look at it, you’ll see how insignificant most of the items are. True, fleas and ants are irritating despite their tiny size. But we need to develop a new attitude about this small stuff. Let’s stop sweating and start counting to 10.

Once we’ve calmed down, we can start developing compassion for our mates — in spite of their irritating habits. (This sounds like something Jesus would do, doesn’t it?) Remember that we are to “cleave” (Genesis 2:24, King James Version) to our spouses for life. “Cleaving,”means sticking together no matter what happens and giving each other permission to be less than perfect.” (This probably includes eating one’s cereal in a less than perfect way.) We need to lighten up a little.

Don’t Touch That Button

Let’s look at two other areas where control battles are waged daily between spouses — television viewing and thermostat settings.
Many couples have different tastes when it comes to TV programs. The obvious solution is to purchase a second television set.
I wouldn’t recommend that for newlyweds. But seasoned couples — especially those who find themselves together 24 hours a day — can afford to spend a little time apart. Television viewing is one area where compromising seldom works; it’s unrealistic to expect an ESPN sports television fan to convert a Food Cooking Network fan, or vice versa.
If buying a second television set isn’t possible, try watching one show while taping another. Unfortunately, my husband and I can’t agree on who gets to see the live production and who has to wait to view the tape. That’s why we have “his” and “her” TV sets — one upstairs, one downstairs. (I take the upstairs because it’s so much warmer up there!)

The Choice Is Yours

When it comes to dealing with the things about our husband that drive us to distraction, it pays to keep things in perspective.

“What I’ve Learned”:

• I’ve learned that being kind is more important than being right.
• I’ve learned that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
• I’ve learned that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow you may have to eat them.
• I’ve learned that I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do.

We can’t help it if our husband gets on our nerves at times. But we can help what we do with our angry feelings. We can choose to count to ten, shoot off a prayer for patience, or laugh it off.

unknown author.

Managing The Home Front

When friends enter a home they sense its personality and character, the family’s style of living—these elements make a house come alive with a sense of identity, a sense of energy, enthusiasm, and warmth, declaring, this is who we are; this is how we live. (Ralph Lauren)

Running a household is no piece of cake. When I think about the tasks that generally fall on a woman’s shoulders, I sometimes want to scream, “Time out!” Why am I the one who is in charge of the laundry, the bills, the dinner, the housecleaning, the grocery shopping, and the kids’ activities? Of course, your responsibilities may not be exactly the same as mine. Every couple’s situation is different, which means the division of household responsibilities may be different. We each come into marriage with our own preconceived ideas about the duties of a husband and a wife. We also have different levels of responsibility outside the home.

There’s no right or wrong way to figure out who does what. The important thing is for you and your husband to have a mutual understanding of one another’s roles as you work through the responsibilities of your household together. At a time when you’re both relaxed and comfortable, prayerfully discuss what a healthy balance of responsibilities would be in your home. Decide what each of you can do to support your marriage and the proper running of your household. Work together to divide the load as best you can.

Both of you will have to compromise. Even so, the way the tasks break down between the two of you may not seem completely fair. As a positive wife, be willing to take on more than your fair share. Here’s why: No spouse sees the entire weight of the workload that the other spouse carries during the day. If you’re going to err, err on the side of giving, not getting. Be faithful to keep up with your responsibilities and do your part to make the household run smoothly without focusing on what your husband is or isn’t doing.

If your husband is the sole breadwinner in the family, you can take on the major part of managing the home front. He can be more effective in his job if he’s supported by a well-run home. Part of your role is understanding the struggles your husband may face in a typical day and recognizing that he may be coming home tired and weary. Perhaps he had to deal with a challenging situation or a difficult person at work; maybe he had to drive through an hour of bumper-to-bumper traffic.
When he walks in the door, the last thing he needs is to be hit with a list of chores or a litany of complaints. (You can tell him your gripes and concerns later. Maybe they won’t seem so important to you by the.) Instead, great him with a smile and a hug and help him to feel glad to be there.

If both of you are employed, you’ll have to work harder to find a healthy balance between you. Consider each other’s time and workload expended outside the home. Look for solutions to make your life together less stressful. If possible, pay someone else to do a chore, so that your time and energy can go into activities that you need to do yourself.

For years I cleaned my own house; but when I had heart surgery, I started paying a maid to do what she does best, so I can do what I do best (be stress free). I also cook dinner every night of the week except for Fridays, and Saturdays.

I finally realized that my responsibility is to provide a dinner for my family, whether I cook it or not. Sometimes takeout from a local restaurant works just as well as home cooking (and tastes a whole lot better). Consider the cost; look for coupons and children eat for free days; but pay for help when you can.

When dividing domestic tasks, take into account the unique gifts, abilities, and talents each of you possesses. In my family, Donovan does the gardening, lawn maintenance, and decorating the outside of the house house. On the other hand, I do laundry and handle household maintenance.

After the two of you have determined what is right, reasonable, and fair for both of you to do around the house, set in your mind that you will always do more than your fair share. Don’t grumble, nag, or complain (how unbecoming of a positive wife!). Instead, move forward prayerfully and cheerfully in God’s strength. The blessing of a well-run home will be your reward.

Getting Organized: On my bookshelf I probably have 10 books telling me how to schedule my days, organize my household, and get a handle on housekeeping. Each book is packed full of wonderful, creative ways to use my time wisely and keep my home in tip-top shape. Unfortunately, most of the books could have the same subtitle: Thousands of Great Ideas That Nobody Actually Puts into Practice.
I don’t want to overwhelm you with a myriad of ideas. I just want to share a few solid, practical tips that can make a lasting difference in our homes and in our lives.

Organizing Stuff: Even a naturally messy person like me can learn to maintain a neat and tidy environment. How? By following these three simple steps.
1. Remember the adage “A place for everything, and everything in its place.” When you know where a certain item belongs, it’s easier to return it to its place. Think of yourself as a placement expert, getting all the lost articles in your house to their proper homes. You can even have a location for all the items that you want to deal with later—just make sure you also choose a time each week to eliminate the junk pile. which leads me to my next point.

2. Designate a time to kill piles and annihilate clutter. Set a specific time each week for dealing with outstanding piles and help yourself by being clutter conscious throughout the week. Stuff can pile up so quickly! Mail is one of the biggies. When the mail arrives, stand by a trash can and go through it. Throw away junk mail and things you know you will never read. Then place place bills in their proper place and read the letters you need to see right away.
Make it a nightly routine to clear the kitchen table and counter tops of excess stuff and put utensils and appliances in order. You’ll go to be feeling you’ve accomplished something, and you’ll wake up to a clean kitchen. It’s the best way to start the day!

3. Create a personal game plan for cleaning the house. You may choose to clean half the house one day and the other half another day. Or maybe you’d rather clean the bathrooms one day, the bedrooms on a second day, and the kitchen and living room on a third. Laundry can also be done by routine. I usually do my husband’s laundry on Monday, mine on Tuesday, and my daughters’ on Wednesday and Thursday.

author for tips: unknown