Don't Make Him Guess What You Want

To men, your silence means one thing: that everything is just fine with you the way things are. To him, if you are not requesting, demanding, or protesting anything, nothing's broke; and if it ain't broke he won't try to fix it. The best thing you could do for him and for yourself is to ask for what you want. There's no guarantee that you'll always get it, but at least you give him something clear and concrete to either deliver or deny. He can use his energy to respond to your need, rather than to guess what it is.

A common false belief, held by many women who love men, is that real love means either: (a) He should already know what I want or need; or (b) If he doesn't know he should take it upon himself to ask,and ask, and ask...Men are much better at loving by giving and doing, than at asking and guessing. To get the best of his love, open our mouth and state your case.

Men love to satisfy their women's desires. It makes them feel quite capable and needed (both of which they love). Men despise hopping around to supply every selfish whim or wish-list item that their women make known. It makes them feel exploited. If you clearly communicate to him what you truly appreciate, believe me, he'll let you know one way or the other where he stands.

Say it: "I will never be without what I desire from the man I love because I did not make it known. He will know it because I will say it."

Do it: " What do you want from him that you are not clearly making known to him? Before you ask him, ask yourself: Is this a realistic request? Is he the right person to ask it of? Is this the right time? If the answer is no to any one of these, table or trash your request. If the answer is yes, calmly, clearly, kindly ask for what you want.---Dr. Ronn Elmore

How To Keep Your Skin Looking Young!

It is never to early to start worrying about keeping one’s skin young, don’t wait till you are in your 50’s to begin stressing about fighting wrinkles and age spots. By developing healthy skin habits in your 20’s you can work towards eliminating the skin problems you might encounter in your later years. Below is a list of how to achieve this.

The most important things to remember in keeping your skin young are these rules:
1. You ARE what you EAT.
It is important to understand that everything you put inside your mouth comes out through your skin. If you eat foods that are high in grease and lacking of nutrients, you tend to break out and produce unnecessary oil. It is also important for you to remember that what you eat plays a huge role in how you age. While simple carbs ( white sugar, cookies, candy) tend to speed up your ageing process, complex carbs found in vegetables and fruits tend to rejuvenate you and de-age your skin.

It is also important to remember to eat the right fat, as it tends to keep the skin plump and younger. It is important that you ensure that your diet is one of healthy proteins and fats like omega-3 and omega-6 essential fatty acids that are found in fish, nuts, soy products and fortified eggs. These fats help your body produce your skin’s natural oil barrier that hydrates it, as well as help in reducing acne-prone inflammations.

EXERCISE De-ages your body

If you are not a big fan of working-out to stay healthy, you should think twice; considering thatexercise plays a tremendous role on how young your body will look and feel in the future. Whether it is bike riding, walking, aerobics or strength training, your body and skin tremendously benefits from this. Here are a few benefits to exercising for a tighter and younger looking skin.

i. Exercise helps to strengthen your heart and lungs.

ii. It also works to decrease your blood pressure and LDL; also known as the bad cholesterol.

iii. Strength training, most importantly works to prevent the loss of bone mass; keeping your bones healthy and strong throughout the years.

iv. But most importantly, exercise works to increase the flow of blood in the body which not only helps in keeping your hair healthy, but also works to help release toxins in the body.

Keyword to everlasting youth: MOISTURIZE

In working towards keeping your skin looking young, it is very important to remember to MOISTURIZE both inside and outside. You moisturize your body from the inside by drinking lots of water. Water helps rid your body of toxins, as well as keeping your skin hydrated.

Moisturizing your body outside is done by apply appropriate creams and lotions. One of the most important habits you can adopt towards keeping a younger looking skin is to REMEMBER To WEAR SUNSCREEN. It is important to remember that the number one factor in aging fast is EXCESSIVE SUN EXPOSURE!! Not only is excessive sun exposure damaging to your skin, but it is the number cause of skin cancer. Developing a healthy habit of wearingsunscreen, works towards reducing the sun’s damage and eliminating wrinkles; as well as, reducing the effect of uneven skin pigmentation that can also come from too much sun exposure.

Apart from wearing Sunscreen, it is very important to remember to always moisturize your skin. One of the fastest ways to age your skin is to leave it dry; because as you get older, your body begins to lose its ability to naturally moisturize itself. Therefore it is important that you always remember to moisturize yourself from head to toe.
REMEMBER, you can start now to rewind the hands of time before it is too late!

Author: Azara

Infertility: A Season Of Purpose

As we live our lives and go through its many seasons we will experience various kinds of personal loss and grief such as with singleness, marriage, parenthood, and career. Solomon recognized that God had “an appointed time” or “season” for each event in our lives. In Ecclesiastes 3:1,2, he says,

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven —A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.”

Like each of life’s seasons, the season of fertility contains its own personal challenges. Some

couples do not experience infertility difficulties until after the birth of their first baby. The months and years pass them by while their first child is growing older and the span of potential years between the first and second is becoming greater.

Accepting the truth about our season of infertility is difficult whether we have none or six children.

For a Jewish woman in Biblical times, to be barren was shameful. Sons were needed to help support the family business and to proliferate the Jewish race. Family was very important to the Jewish tradition. Women were culturally and religiously expected to produce heirs causing them to compare their own personal worth as a wife to how many heirs they produced for their husband.

And, today, some of these cultural traditions and expectations continue, but they are subtle with less direct pressure. Modern forms of shame have emerged in our current culture due to past indiscretions, sex before marriage, abortion, and waiting “too long” to try to get pregnant. We tend to blame our infertility on ourselves promoting the feeling of condemnation from those who believe we have something terribly wrong with us because we are childless. These haunting feelings of inadequacy and failure can penetrate the depths of our marriage, causing relational difficulties.

Infertile couples may even blame each other for their failure to conceive. Sometimes distraught couples begin to reject each other. They begin to point to each other’s past mistakes and sins to substantiate their blame. A couple can be ripped apart at the seams when this destructive behavior is not identified and immediately stopped allowing confession and forgiveness to take place.

Infertility can highlight unresolved hurt and anger in a marriage. When a couple has not developed healthy coping skills with which to overcome difficulties and conflict within their marriage relationship, infertility will certainly put a spotlight on this deficiency.

There are some who claim that it is not personal sin, but their dashed dreams and unfulfilled expectations in having children that have brought them severe pain and anguish. These couples may cry out to God and say, “Why have you kept this blessing of children from our life?” We have tried to live a pure and righteous life! Why us?” However, God’s Word says that he does not withhold blessings from us. Psalms 34:10 says, “The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing.”

Blaming God for our barrenness can cause bitterness, hatred, anger, resentment, and much more sin to take hold in our souls that will slowly begin to corrupt us. Blaming God only distances ourselves from our loving creator. We need to seek Him during our time of affliction and we are not to turn away from Him. Psalms 33:20 tells us, “Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.”

As I struggled with childlessness while hiding my shame, blame and guilt; I found myself just trying to cope in my normal daily life. A few coping mechanisms I identified in my own dysfunction looked like this:

• I avoided activities where families will be present
• I dreaded the celebrations associated with Mother’s Day
• I immediately declined all invitations to baby showers because it hurt too much.

Some of the infertile women and men of the Bible used impure coping mechanisms with which to handle their feelings of shame and lack of self-worth. Sarah was anxious, Rachel was envious, Leah was jealous, and Hannah was depressed. Like these women, today, we may use similar methods to keep us from feeling the pain of infertility.

Compulsive coping mechanisms do not relieve our pain and will only give us short-term control of our situation. Once we recognize we are not coping in righteousness, we need to immediately go to our Heavenly Father and follow His way to cope with our infertility in a more fruitful manner.

This can be accomplished by:

• Asking God To Reveal Sin
• Confessing Sin (wrong thoughts, beliefs, actions)
• Resetting Our Standard

How Do I Reset My Standard?

Step 1: Walk in Faith

The easy way out of a situation is to do what everyone around is telling us to do. Well-meaning friends, relatives, and doctors can give advice and persuade us to follow the world’s path. Submitting our desires to God and waiting for his confirmation and direction can seem an impossible task when we are in deep depression. All these factors make it a challenge to reset our standard to God’s, but it is this challenging time when God does some of His mightiest work.However, God’s ways are not man’s ways (Isaiah 55:8). When we feel desperate in our human abilities and we choose to depend on God, we see Him move in incredible ways. This is when our faith is stretched and strengthened and we become closer to God than we have ever been.

Step 2: Surrender Control to God

God wants us to know He is in control of our past, present and future. He proved His position of control to us with the lives of Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah and Elizabeth. God’s perfect timing and great plans are more important than our desires and selfish demands. As Elizabeth and Zacharias (Luke 1) did, we need to remain focused on God’s bigger plan for our lives. We need to let Him operate in His perfect will and timing specific to His global perspective and plan. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”God tells us in Proverbs 21:5 that we are to do nothing in desperation. The passage says, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.” Resist the temptations associated with desperation and turn your face to God for His answers. Becoming sensitive to God’s voice and direction develops as we mature in Christ.

Step 3: Learn to Manage Expectations of Family and Friends

Well-meaning friends and family can create additional stress in our lives during infertility. I remember for myself as we were probed us for answers regarding our childless situation. The personal questions and careless statements often felt hurtful as we struggled through our infertility issues. For couples that are experiencing similar probing, it is important to realize that these family members and friends are showing their concern and interest about your life in the only way they know. It is easy for a grieving couple to believe people are being “nosey” and insensitive when in fact the opposite is true.

Step 4: Recognize the Blessings of Infertility

With the emotional ups and downs of infertility, the only way we can experience true hope and peace is through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. God uses times of infertility and loss in our lives to bring us closer to Him. He desires that we rely on Him for meeting our needs and wants. He wants us to give control over to Him. He wants us to recognize our human limitations and yield to His ways.The blessings we receive from our pain and suffering are sometimes difficult to acknowledge when we are deeply involved within our struggle. However, we are instructed by God’s Word to be thankful in all things (Phil. 4:6-7). In our despair, we must open our eyes and let them expand beyond ourselves, to see God at work. He is always “at work.” We need to recognize that we are a small part of a much bigger picture. Sometimes it takes a crisis in our lives before we can slow down and recognize the blessings He is bountifully bestowing on us.

Step 5: Ask God, “What is Your Plan for Me?”

Waiting on God during infertility can be a very trying time. We are tempted to place many of our future plans and decisions on hold while we seek and ponder which direction to take in our lives.We ask, “Should I buy that new house or car, quit my job, save money, serve on that board or committee, set up a nursery, and place that seed of excitement in my heart?” So much of our decision-making rests on the answer to the question, “God, what is your plan for me?”Life cannot come to a standstill while we wait for our “little blessing” to arrive. Keep moving forward in your plans while seeking God’s direction. Proverbs 16:9 puts it this way, “The mind of a man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.”It was a difficult and painful reality to come to terms with the fact that I had potentially missed my greatest opportunity to have a child of my own. I had squandered my fruitfulness on empty dreams and deceptive beliefs. This must have been how the prodigal son felt when he came to his senses and realized he had squandered his inheritance on emptiness and foolishness.

But, thankfully our God is a God of second chances who is loving, gracious and merciful to our needs and desires. As in the book of Joel, God says he restores what the locusts have eaten. We do not always know or understand how He will do this, but His Word says He will and I believe His Word. I may have missed my season of fertility, but God had mercy on me and gave me a second chance, in a unique and surprising way. During healing from my grief of infertility, God showed me that I am not in control of my fertility, He is. Through exercising humility, I came to understand that I have no entitlement to mother-hood. Becoming a mother is purely a blessing from God.

Step 6: Don’t Compare

I strongly urge you to resist comparing your life against the backdrop of other people’s lives. Your neighbor or co-worker may appear to have the perfect life with children, but we do not know the real path or true pain of their lives. The path God designed for you contains a valuable purpose. Let go of the temptation to believe that God has forgotten you. Have patience and courage to wait for God to act and confirm His will on His timetable. As I pursued God’s plan for my life, He began to unfold it for me and I finally concluded that His plan was beautiful, unique, purposeful, and created just for me.

As I have seen in countless situations, God uses a season of infertility for His purposes. The main purpose can be to allow healing in one or both of the couples’ lives from a buildup of a series of traumatic or grievous events. Another purpose may be to help drive the couple closer to Himself and to each other. Sometimes infertility allows for the consideration of adoption to help care for the world’s tremendous orphan needs. However, whatever the reason for infertility, God wants to use the time of waiting for His purpose and for His glory. I urge you to not give up hope during your season of infertility but to seek God for His answers.

kimberly taylor

Take Care of the Smell After Sex

After your husband ejaculates inside of you, over time your vagina may have a not so pleasant scent. It is important to care for yourself properly after sex just as you do before the sex. This maybe elementary information, however it's still needful and can be overlooked due to distractions of being a wife.

One way to care for yourself is the basic soap and water. Now this is good, but it only gets the outer part of the vagina. The real odor comes from within. I know studies now say that douching is not the best solution because it drys the vagina out. However douching once or twice a month should be alright. If your vagina is dry, then you could purchase, a lubricant that is designed to be inserted in the vagina. It's like a light oil. FDS carries the product which can be purchased at Wal-mart or any drug store.

Another way to clean yourself properly is with a feminine wash. This would be an excellent choice because this wash is a gentle, soap free cleanser designed to gently wash away odor causing bacteria from the external vaginal.

Now the best approach in my opinion is to soak in the bath tub. Add vinegar to your bath water. Vinegar is an excellent odor replant. When bathing, those extra body fluids will come out. This way, water does seep into the vagina giving it a light cleanse.



It's best to keep feminine wipes in your purse for quick sex moments with your husband when you are out and about. Hey, it happens. Best to be prepared, right? Also, when done cleaning yourself from the use of the bathroom. It's best to use a scented panie liner to catch any discharge from sex. This discharge could have a smelly odor so it 's best to be protected and use a feminine spray if needed. You don't want to walk around with the 'wet' feeling. Not pleasant at all!


Why do I mention all of this? Why not? Besides, may not be you, but have you ever been in your car sitting and you smell yourself? It's not a fishy scent, but it's a light foul odor, so you find yourself keeping your legs tightly closed or especially if you are in public? Or maybe you went to the bathroom, pulled down your panies and boom! The foul sex scent hits you in your face (even after you cleaned properly, it's still the discharge of your husband's sperm and your discharge). Matter of fact, when you are done, you are hoping that no one goes in that bathroom stall that you were in. Doesn't have to be a public bathroom, it could be your own bathroom at home and your husband uses it right after you. Save yourself the embarrassment! Again, maybe not you, but you know that female friend you have and her vagina has an odor and you don't know how to tell her. Don't let it be you because it can happen.

So it's best to stay on top of your 'A' game. Do this by keeping feminine wipes and maybe a feminine spray in your purse so you can freshen up anytime and feel confident sitting, standing, dancing and even using the public bathroom.

Yours truly,

Good Wife Qualities

If you’re a wife wanting to improve yourself, your marriage or your relationship – take a look at these 7 qualities of a good wife. Good fruit will come from these basic qualities anyone can develop.

7) Nag free. Ladies, a good wife is going to be nag free. Nagging is an ineffective method of trying to get your husband to perform a task you desire. Trust me ladies – it doesn’t work and often will have the opposite of its intended affect.

6) Supportive. Are you supportive? What does it mean to be supportive? Do you belittle your man or do you help him to feel good about himself, his job, activities? Your husband will be much more respectful of you if you support him. Even when you don’t agree with him – respectfully let him know you don’t agree – then support him anyway. Otherwise, if he has difficulties – he’ll feel as though you’re adding to his troubles.

5) Build up your man. Ladies, there’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him – especially in front of others. On the flip side – try genuinely complementing your husband in front of other people. Your husband will glow with admiration toward you and you’ll feel his appreciation as love.

4) Keep him happy in the bedroom. Unfortunately, many women underestimate the importance of keeping her man’s needs met. Often this comes from the basic differences in women and men. For men, sexual desire is much like physical hunger and if it’s not fed properly – the relationship will struggle. Women must look to understand the needs of the man from his perspective not hers.

3) Respect. A good wife will try to treat her man with respect. How? Much of learning how to be respectful toward your husband has to do with the way you talk to him. The old phrase “It’s not so much what you say but how you say it” should become a wife’s motto. This doesn’t mean you need to be careful what you say to your husband – just be respectful in the way you say it.

2) Communicate. Ironically, good communication between men and women can be quite frustrating. However, a good wife will seek to discover what’s on her mind and find a way to express herself to her husband. Often, men and women will make a joint decision – while the man thinks she’s in agreement with him – but only to discover later that she thought the decision was a bad idea.

1) Be pleasant. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who makes everyone around you feel bad just because you’ve had a hard day. Good things will come from being pleasant. It’s a decision – just decide to be pleasant. But if you can’t be pleasant – make a decision not to bring him down with you.---author unknown

2009 Ultimate Fitness Plan

The strength moves in the Ultimate Fitness Plan are designed as a circuit: You do one move right after another, with little rest in between. Research shows that this type of training boosts calorie burn both during a workout and for an hour afterward by 10 percent over traditional routines.

Do each move for 30 seconds (weeks 1 and 2), then 60 seconds (weeks 3 and 4). Rest for 30 seconds between moves. Do each circuit four times, resting for 2 minutes after the second one. Follow the schedule below. Yes, you do something six days a week, but no workout takes more than 30 minutes out of your busy day.

Monday Moves 1-5 (Goal: Stand Up Straight)
Tuesday Moves 6-10 (Goal: Bulletproof Your Body)
Wednesday Move 11 / Interval Training (Goal: Banish Belly Fat)
Thursday Moves 1-5
Friday Moves 6-10
Saturday Move 11
Sunday Rest*

* You can start the program on any day and choose your own rest day; just don't do the same workout on consecutive days.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/2009-ultimate-fitness-plan-workout-1

How To Handle the Female Friend Who Likes Your Husband

During your marriage life, you may really need to be selective of the female friends you may have around your husband and in your home. All are not always out for your best interest. Some maybe secretly jealous of your marriage, just plain ole lonely, and some could even have a crush on your husband.

You will know who the 'Judas' is just by body language, word choice, and the always concerned what your husband whereabouts are.

One of the body languages could be the constant flirting, light touching which normally goes with the ongoing giggles and laughter, and the famous eye balling. Quick sneak glances or stares at your husband are just a few of the signs. Also, the constant being in his face is another dead give away your female friend may likes your husband.

Word choices are also possible red flags of a female friend liking you husband. Subtle hints or messages in conversation with your husband are the big and obvious crush signs. Wives, please do not be naive! Take notice of what my be going on. Just keep on eye out. I understand somethings may not always appear of what it seems, however just keep note of what is going on.

Last by not least, when the female friend is always asking about your husband. His likes, dislikes, questions of "is he home?", what time does he get off, personal questions and the list goes on. Wives can I suggest something. Be VERY reluctant of giving your husband's cell phone number to a female friend. Things happen or innocent reasons of her having his number may occur, but please, by all means, avoid it! This could hit you in the face later down the line. I'll give a quick scenario: Girlfriend is going through, ie pain, breakup, lost of..., or just need someone to talk to. She calls everyone on her contact but no one is available (We all have had those days). She's desperate. She sees your hubby's number. She calls, they talk, he soothes her over, and they both enjoy each other's conversation. Later, he may call to check up on her or she may call back thanking him for giving his time and concern. A little innocent bond is now made. Later, possibly you got in a fight with the husband. He wants to vent and talk to someone so he calls "her". She soothes him over assuring him it's ok. Next thing could happen, he gives her subtle compliments and vice versa. To make it short, feelings may start to surface and need I say more. You can play with the story, doesn't have to happen like that, but you all know where I'm coming from.

When in the public eye and a female or even a friend is constantly flirting with your husband, STAY CALM. I cannot stress this enough. You don't want to make a fool out of yourself. You don't want to look insecure either. That's a turn off. Stay cool, calm, collective and CONFIDENT. It's best not to go running over to them like a wild ragging bull with fear in your eyes. All that is going to do is give the other woman more ammunition to be mischievous, because she will play on your insecurities. Now see, this is were your appearance comes into place too. Many posts ago, I did A Wardrobe That Works. At least you will be looking hot and feeling confident if/when approaching your husband.

It is your husband's responsibility to address the female/friend and set that boundary. Now this is the part we wives have no control over. The only thing you can do at this time is to somewhat wait it out and PRAY for God's grace, peace, and His mercy not to slap her. If your husband thinks that there was nothing wrong with him entertaining the flirtatious female or friend then you are going to have to pray and keep your cool (in the public eye), cry and vent later.

Overall, it's disrespectful to you. Whether if your husband doesn't see anything wrong or thinks it's all fun and games, if he's a real man of God, then he will respect your wishes and have that boundary set up. The two of you must agree. Would he like it if it was the other way around? Like I thought!

Golden wives, all I can't address all the possible scenarios of this situation. However, the greater One is inside of you. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and wisdom. If you are in a public place, quickly go to the bathroom and say a prayer. God will ANSWER! God will intervene on your behalf where you may not have to do or say anything.

TESTIMONY

FYI: I remember the Lord instructed me to HUG the female that was flirtatious and trying to get with my husband (mind you she was a Judas, ehemm I mean, 'friend'). I fought and fought God on this. After a while I was having dreams of me hugging her and wishing her well. So I knew what I had to do. Sure enough, a week later, we ran into each other at Dunkin Doughnuts and I wanted my emotions to get the best of me, but instead I gave her the biggest bear hug ever. She was surprised and confused looking, yet she had somewhat of shame on her face. Oh yes, it was an awkward moment, but I felt at peace and forgiveness came in my heart towards her. It brought healing and closure to me and I felt like the bigger/better person. Now she tries and invite me to her things, converse, you know, build that friendship up again. I still take it slow with her, but God knew what He was doing. Thank You Jesus! Are we not to walk in unconditional love?

What Would Prompt Infidelity Aside from Sexual & Emotional Needs?

QUESTION & ANSWER:
Q: Enlighten me; outside of sexual & emotional needs, what else would prompt infidelity. I have been thinking, & I easily classify all factors that come up into these 2 categories alone. e.g. Respect. That falls under "emotional needs" class. If too personal to respond, please email me. What would prompt infidelity aside from sexual & emotional needs.

Dear M, here is a list I came up with that would prompt infidelity other than lack of sexual/emotional needs:

SEXUAL ADDICTION/ADDICTED TO WOMEN
Having a sexual addiction is not only a stronghold, but it's no different then drug and food addiction. No matter how much sex you are having with your spouse, it's never enough. There are many different reasons of this behavior, however the common root of this addiction is pornography! It's like an illness. Husband maybe addicted to women. No matter how good you satisfy you spouse in bed, how well you cook/clean, spoiling him, wearing all the sexiest lingerie, respecting him, treating him like a KING/BIG BOSS, if they are an addict of sex/women, then it doesn't matter how good of a wife you are. Trust me, I know. I am personally a victim of this. I did everything for my husband but get him a mistress. He was addicted to WOMEN! For years I thought something was wrong with me, even though my husband would brag how 'good' I am in bed, I took care of his needs, ie attention, love, respect..but yet he would continue to cheat on a regular basis. I have tried everything and new things, but it didn't work. That's when the Lord showed me that it's an addiction/stronghold and I have to pray. Long story short over 10yrs, my husband is now delivered from women/sexual addiction which came from the pornography.

LOW SELF ESTEEM
I always heard how low self-esteem has a part of infidelity. People have told me that he was cheating because he was insecure of himself. I never believed that because I thought it was foolish. If someone is insecure or has low self-esteem, then WHY would you be promiscuous? I have heard my hubby say "A, it was never you, it was me, I was insecure of myself and my self esteem was low."

SELFISHNESS
This is where the favorite phrase, "having your cake and eat it too". Some men just do it for the THRILL of it all. The excitement, sneaking, the anticipation of it all, it being adventurous or whatever excuse anyone else can think of. This type man's mentality is "It's nothing like having a wonderful wife at home who does it all, or half and having a mistress on the side". Another favorite phrase would be, "I wonder do I still have it?" Some would actually try and talk to a lady just to see if they still have "IT". This could also lead into infidelity because the brakes may not have ever been applied.

SUBTLE JOKES @ WORK or SUBTLE SEXUAL GESTURE
No intentions to cheat whatsoever, but it may lead to sex with co-worker or friend. This is unsuspecting and was supposedly no harm done to the spouse, however that is not the case. This too could be a prompt of infidelity.


HURT
Some cheat because their spouse has cheated on them and they want revenge (I can relate). So the root of this would be hurt. Common phrase, "you hurt me, now I'm going to hurt you back." Personally, that was my motto, and I did just that and regretted. When one doesn't have closure over infidelity, then that insecurity and paranoid feeling is still there. Watch it, because if that door isn't closed (having closure and your spouse assuring you their love, trust, etc..) then someone else will give them that security and it could lead to something else.

FEAR
Some spouses may have the attitude of, "Get them before they get you" mentality, or "I rather cheat first before they cheat on me." Take it to the Lord if you want help. It's up to you and you are responsible for self regardless of what your spouse may or may not be doing.

VOID
One may feel empty and try to fill it with alcohol, food, drugs, porn, sex and the list goes on to fill the void.


LONELINESS
Husband may be on another business trip. A long business trip.... He has a wonderful wife at home but he still have needs. There maybe a nice looking woman (or not) in his hotel. They have small talk, flirting begins, small touches start, sexual jokes, and now husband is in too deep!

So as you see, sometimes it's not always a lack of emotional and sexual attention with a cheating spouse, it goes further and only the wisdom of God can give you revelation on what to do. I am a standing testimony that the word of God is true and prayers changes things! Hope that answered your question.

A Few Items Every Mom and Dad Should Use

Here are a Few Items Every Mom and Dad Should Use to Manage Parenting and Sex

• Lock on the bedroom door.


• White noise machine such as a fan or a radio moved near the bedroom door.


• A ringer off switch on the bedroom phone.


• A private (lockable) drawer, box, or cupboard for marital aids you don’t want kids to see.


• His and Hers sexy lingerie.


• Sexy underwear for Him and Her.


• Weekly date nights just for the two of you! This is so effective in boosting your sexual energy!


• A reliable baby-sitter.


• Massage oil.


• A jar to collect loose change, designated to fund your next romantic weekend getaway.

http://www.the-intimate-couple.com/a-few-items-every-mom-and-dad-should-use.html

Also, Recharge Your Sexual Desire

• Have sex! Great sex energizes rather than depletes you.


• Guard your thoughts. The mind is your major sex organ! Replace thoughts of boredom, fatigue, and fear with excitement, energy, and confidence.


• Buy sexy underwear and then wear them at home, even during the day!


• Shop for sexy lingerie.


• Get a massage.


• Work out.


• Read books or magazine articles on sexuality.


• Buy scented candles to use at night.
• Write your husband a sexy love letter.


• Spend time planning what you will do later for your husband’s sexual pleasure and what you’re going to ask him to do for your’s.

http://www.the-intimate-couple.com/recharge-your-sexual-desire.html

Thirdly, Be Creative in Fitting in Both Parenting and Sex

• If your children are infants, plan to have sex during nap time.
• Bring the children to Grandma’s while you run back home and make love.
• Trade an overnight stay for your kids with friends who have children.
• This will give you all evening and night to kiss, cuddle, make love, …
• Keep the babysitter an extra hour while you kiss and snuggle in the car.
• Set the clock for 2 am when you know everyone is usually sleeping and you can have some uninterrupted time for sex.---Jim & Carrie Gordon

If you are unable to the following listed above, then here are some other suggestions:

• Give your children a snack with their favorite t.v. show or movie to watch.
• If your children are older, then send them outside to play.
• Just find a secret quiet place in your home where you and your husband can become intimate for a while.
• Send the children to bed early.

Either way, you must be creative in the sex destination area. You know what may or may not work for the two of you. Whatever you do, ENJOY!

Secondly, Set Up Sexual Boundaries

Your kids need to understand that both parenting and sex are important. They already see how you have made parenting a priority. But they also need to respect the time you give to yourself and your husband. Instruct your children about respecting your privacy and “couple only” time. Teach them:

• Get a lock on your bedroom door and tell your kids, “Always knock on a closed door and wait to be invited in.”
• Don’t interrupt mom and dad when they’re on the phone or in a conversation.
• Consider mommy “off duty” during her 15 minute break time.

Teach your kids positive messages about sexuality. Don’t let them speak derogatorily about sex and love.
Help your children understand the importance of mom and dad having alone time. “When the babysitter comes and mom and dad leave, it helps mom and dad love each other more! The love between mom and dad is very important in a family!”--Jim & Carrie Gordon

Take Care of Yourself, First of All

Take care of yourself first and you will be a better wife and mother and ensure great parenting and sex!
Loving mothers pay attention to their sexual lives.

Here are a few suggestions for you to take care of yourself:

• Subscribe to caller display and then, don’t answer the phone unless it’s someone you really need to talk to. Better yet, turn off the phone’s ringer and let your phone’s answering machine take messages for you.


• When you get requests from friends for favours, tell them that you’ll get back to them later since you and your husband have agreed to check with one another before making commitments. Don’t feel obligated to answer “yes” right away.

Reduce stress in your life:

• Address (or, if necessary, discontinue) relationships that drain you. (ie folks who “dump on you”, take but don’t give back, ask for advice but never follow through with it.)


• Stop comparing yourself to others.


• Don’t be a perfectionist.

Take Some Time Just For Yourself

If your husband can’t watch the children, trade babysitting time with a friend. Need some ideas for what to do with time away from the children?

1. browse a bookstore or visit the library
2. meet a friend for coffee/latte/dessert
3. take an art class
4. take a leisurely bath
5. exercise (this is also a libido booster!)
6. sit down with a coffee
7. get a manicure
8. read a book or magazine
9. sit relaxing in the sun or shade

No doubt, you’ve heard how adults are instructed on a plane that, in an emergency, they put their own oxygen mask on before assisting anyone else. Keep this in mind as you consider whether or not you've been putting yourself (your needs, your sexual pleasure...) on the back burner. ---Jim & Carrie Gordon

Parenting and Sex

Are you a mom of young children who finds parenting and sex a challenge? Motherhood is often a challenge in itself whether you are battling fatigue from any (or all!) of the following:

• sleepless nights with a newborn infant


• breastfeeding, burping, and diaper changing your baby many times in a day!


• busy days running after your active toddler


• helping out at your child’s preschool


• doing the extra laundry that comes with babies and young children
  and the list goes on!

How can you fit both mothering and lovemaking into your life? Where does a young mom find time for both? How can you have energy for all the demands of raising children while keeping your sexual relationship with your husband healthy? Many moms are completely exhausted at the end of the day and go to bed looking forward to “sleep” not “sex”!
Perhaps you don’t even have a desire for sexual intimacy. Your sexual libido is depleted. In addition, you feel guilty because you know your husband is disappointed that you aren’t “in the mood” as much as he is.

The next several post will be suggestions to help you experience what seems impossible: being a good mom to your kids and a great lover for your spouse!

http://www.the-intimate-couple.com/parenting-and-sex.html

Ideas On How To Save Money When Decorating the Nursery

First, make a plan. Before you start buying, figure out a budget, theme, and shopping list. This will help avoid impulsive purchases like that impossibly adorable toy chest that just doesn’t go. (And remember, we’re dealing with baby stuff now. Everything is impossibly adorable… time to toughen up.) And, start early. The sooner you begin working on the nursery, the more time you have to spread the costs over.

As you plan, think about the future. Though baby blue might seem sweet right now, your little one could have different ideas once he hits preschool. Go for themes, colors and decorations that will grow with your child to avoid going through the decorating process again in three years. This applies to furniture, too. Look for a crib that turns into a toddler bed or a changing table that converts to a dresser. The longer you can use an item, the better its value. Area rugs are a better choice than wall-to-wall carpet, because they are easier to clean and cheaper to replace. And, if you’re even thinking about having another child, make the nursery (particularly any major investments) gender neutral… just think, next time, all these decorating questions will be taken care of!---The Bump

Spying on the Husband

Sooner or later in the marriage you will find yourself at a place where you may spy on your spouse. Rummaging through his text messages, deleted emails, drawers, pants, wallet, and whatever else your pretty little head can think of may not always be the answer.

However, it is the intentions of it all. You know the very reason why you are doing it if you are doing it. Are you just being nosey? Did he leave any personal information open, so now it's convenient to check? You feel like something isn't right in the marriage? Did you hear a rumor?Could it be that you are insecure? Whatever the reason maybe, good or bad, it's best to ask yourself, why before you go playing 'I Spy'.

Before you do such an act, remember to prepare yourself of what you may find. Or, you may not find anything to confront your husband with. If so, then it's best not to continue to snoop or pry in his things. It's almost like you are looking for something that is not there.

There have been plenty of times where I have snooped around. My reason of justifying the behavior was because he was giving me a reason too at the time. I wanted answers right then and there. Unfortunately, my husband didn't want to talk. He kept to himself and there were red flags of infidelity. So me being puzzled and confused, I would go through anything of his. All this did was made things worse. I had no peace, I was always plotting my next 'spy' move, worried became my first name, I was paranoid, and just plan acting out of character.

Your best bet is to pray and ask God for peace and guidance in all situations in the marriage. God knows and sees all of what your spouse is/not doing, so it's best to take it to the throne. The Lord will give or show you answers. It maybe through conversation you and your husband may have, it could be an open email, text, etc. that the husband forgot to close out, so now it's accessible to you, or it could be a conversation with a family or friend. However you get your answer, ask God to laminate your heart. If he's willing to talk, then have a discussion of what/how you are feeling. Remember to be patient through it all. Some men need time to collect their thoughts. I heard that their thought process is different from women. So again, be patience.

Yours truly,

When the Baby Comes

That is a wonderful question and one that not many couples think about prior to their child being born. It is very helpful to discuss any issues that may cause stress in the future; for example, deciding how you will handle the first days home from the hospital. The initial weeks after birth can be very stressful for new parents, especially if they are fighting over who does what. Speak to your partner before the birth and establish both a "parental plan," as well as a "parental philosophy" that will be used throughout your years as parents.
In your parental plan, roughly assign who is going to do what tasks. If one of you can deal with very little sleep, perhaps they are the one to do the most night feedings. If you create a plan beforehand, things will run much smoother during the coming weeks knowing Mom is on 7-3 a.m. and Dad is going to take 3 a.m., because he can function better on no sleep. If the reverse is true, then obviously the parental plan will be flipped. Also, think about getting some support so both you and your husband are able to take some time for yourselves during the first few months.
Establishing a parental philosophy will help you deal with issues such as "Do we let the baby sleep in our bed?" or "Do we want to use a pacifier?" or "Should we let the baby cry at a certain point?" It is important to speak about your experiences and values, and how they will translate into your parenting. This will become even more helpful when you tackle issues such as discipline, chores, and house schedules. Knowing what you each believe in will allow you to formulate more clearer and more realistic expectations regarding how you will interact with your children.--Tammy Gold

How can I find clothes that are comfortable, fit my growing body and still look good?

Those bulging bellies are increasingly seen as beautiful and natural, not something to be hidden. Go for clothes that celebrate your curves, rather than masses of draping fabric to veil your tummy. Empire waists are great for showing off shoulders and growing breasts while giving baby room to grow. V-necks look good on almost everyone, and bring attention to the face. Open collars will accentuate your collarbone and make your neck look long and graceful. Clingy clothes also look cleaner and neater,and will make it clear that you’re pregnant, not just extraordinarily large. And, don’t forget the basic rules -- dark clothes are slimming, look good on everyone, and match with anything.

Thanks to crazy hormones,pregnant women tend to get kind of hot. (You’ve noticed?) Stay cool in breathable fabrics like cotton, viscose and matte jersey. Dress in layers so you can strip (appropriately) as the day goes on and your temperature rises. Also stay away from any scratchy fabrics -- pregnant bellies are already itchy enough.

Most maternity clothes come in small, medium and large. The sizing is basically the same as non-pregnancy clothes, with extra room in the belly, boobs, hips and arm holes. Buy your regular size, but don’t get too much at once -- your growth might expand to other areas.
The Bump Editors