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August 28, 2009

10 Ways to Make Fast Food Healthy







Learn these fat-proof tricks so you can eat your fave foods in good conscience

Not all fast food is created equal. Okay, but can you eat hamburgers, pizzas, and burritos without gaining a gut? Yes. You. Can! Even though these on-the-go meals wouldn't normally make the top of any nutritionist's food list, we tracked down some exceptions to the fast-equals-fat rule. Good thing, too, because the average American is consuming 100 drive-thru dishes a year. Here are the worst items at popular food franchises and simple fast food fixes that won't super-size your waistline.---Abby Lerner


August 26, 2009

Let Him Dream Big Dreams

There's no reason to ever let your husband's dreams frighten you, even if for every noble and ingenious one, he dreams three fantasies of Disney-sized proportions. How he handles his dreams is not nearly as threatening as how he handles reality. He can (and he must) keep a firm grip on reality, and at the same time feel right at home in the world of dreams, ambition, and aspirations. Let him dream big dreams.
Every great thing any man ever did started with a dream. It was something a little bigger than life, yet worthy of his attention and his effort. And many of them are worthy of your enthusiastic endorsement and collaboration. Your contribution to the realization of his dreams can mean the difference between them ending up in the "cheap talk" or "action attempted" file.
Men possess hug, hardworking, dream-producing machines. They are at work around the clock in a room inside his soul that has I H-O-P-E written on the door. How you handle the dreamer in the man you love has to do with how much, or how little greatness he attempts.
Don't always take it upon yourself t play the "voice of reason" with the single-minded determination to snap him out of it and jolt him back into reality. I assure you, lofty dreams and practical reality can peacefully coexist. One is tempered by the other. Do not be intimidated by his dreams.
Let him speak "dream-talk" to you. If he shares his dreams with you, he has welcomed you into the secret chambers of his private world (remove your pumps and tread light there). Often he is seeking no more than your ear, and the profound pleasure of having you join him his exciting exploration of an intriguing possibility.
If asked, give your opinions. If not, don't. Unless the realization of his dreams will directly-and adversely-impact you, take the passenger seat and go along for the ride.
Say it: "Who am I to censor, improve upon, or otherwise rearrange his dreams? Although I am never one to ignore harsh reality, neither will I dismiss his lofty dream. Rather, I will encourage them."
---Ronn Elmore

August 22, 2009

Define Common Space






Some couples are lucky enough to have very similar personal habits, pet peeves, and preferences. A great many more find great challenges in the details of home life. Regardless of beliefs, goals and values in common, they steam up over the way to squeeze the toothpaste or the proper place for dirty clothes.

Finding accommodations that both of you can happily live with is certainly the ideal solution to differences in style. Some couples become more similar simply by dint of living together and cease to feel the early tensions of being unique individuals thrown together. Other couples implement a bargaining style to get things done in their home. Each consciously gives way where they feel able and asks for extra consideration where they don't.

But sometimes these solutions just don't work. In such a case, a couple would be will-served to create a neutral territory-perhaps in an area of the house that would ordinarily be considered "public" space. here, it often behooves the less particular partner to accept the need for order and cleanliness that the other partner feels. Of course, living together happily also requires fair play. It's only fair that the other partner be allowed some space where she can kick off her shoes, loosen her collar, and enjoy what is truly comfortable to her.

The key to building a positive life together is always the same: mutual respect. You don't have to change who you are to appreciate a partner who is different. You do have to exercise the will to serve both of your needs, expend the energy to find a satisfactory way to do it, and develop the compassion to truly desire as much freedom and happiness for our partner as for yourself.--Richard Carlson

August 20, 2009

Make a Date For A Date With Your Mate






Dating your husband or wife will be very different from dating a potential husband. Yet it is just as important. When you were single, dating was a time to get away alone, to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You took time to get away alone, to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You took time to learn more about each other, about your past and your dreams for the future. You gradually felt at ease with each other.

But, you see, even though you’re married, the two of you still need the same thing. You need to get away alone and continue to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You need to learn more about each other, your past and your dreams for the future. You need to feel at ease with each other as you face new challenges together.



That’s why dating shouldn’t stop with marriage. Too often, married couples get settled, caught up in the routine of jobs, church, parenting, and other commitments. Many couples are so busy that they don’t take time to nurture the foundation of their family—their marriage and their relationship with each other. As we know all too well, when that marriage foundation begins to crumble, everything else comes down with it.
Your marriage is your most important relationship after your relationship with God.
Your marriage needs nurturing. Like a plant needs water or a car needs an oil change, your marriage needs consistent attention. It needs care and nurture every day; it needs a special “tune-up” once in a while. You may need to jump-start a habit that needs to be a regular part of your marriage. You need to reconnect with your spouse. You need to work at your marriage.

Wives, you wouldn’t think of buying a plant and refusing to water it, so why do you think your husband can go for days or weeks at a time without some of his most important needs being met?
Keep a marriage together and romance alive takes time. It means making one’s marriage and spouse a priority and setting aside time for only him. In other words, it means planning dates on a regular basis.--article marriage missions

August 17, 2009

Simple Rules








DO NOT be a clingy wife! Your Husband has a lot on his mind in the morning, planning out his busy affairs for the day. Try not to engage him in conversation about what your plans for the day are or other trivial matters. Always walk him to the door in peace. Make sure to carry with you any of the things he has forgotten so he doesn't need to go back for them, ie cell phone, laptop, briefcase, and files. Offer yourself for a kiss, but if he is too busy to notice, DO NOT POUT. He has a lot of responsibility and the morning is not the time for feminine hysterics. When your Husband gets home from work, do not jump him with problems you've had during the day, or questions about his day. Just wait. He needs time to relax and whine down. Make sure the TV remote or newspaper is next to his chair.

Once he walks in the door, ladies...turn OFF the soaps, talk shows, Internet and off the phone! Wives, this is vital! He may not say anything, but trust. As time goes on, he will bring up in an argument of what you are always doing when he comes home. You want to make your husband feel like a King when he enters into his castle. Give him that undivided attention for at least 15 mins even if he doesn't deserve it. Golden Wives, make sure the house is clean. This is just as important as the first rule. Your home needs to have a pleasant scent whether it's dinner he's smelling or plug in air freshener. I personally like to have a ready snack for my husband after he comes home from a hard day of work. Warm chocolate chips cookies, chips, nuts, kool-aid or whatever is available in the pantry is something to tie over his stomach until dinner is ready. This does make a difference. It shows affection, love, and a simple 'you were thinking about me'. Husbands like that.

Give him time to whine down. Let him enjoy his ESPN, NCIS, news or whatever he likes to watch. Phone calls can wait especially from the house phone. I personally don't answer the house phone when hubby is trying to talk to me about his crazy day. Enjoy the quiet time together. If you have children like me then make the best of it. Give the kids a snack and send them in the basement, outside or to their room for a little while.


After dinner, cleaning up kitchen, and the children are washed and ready for bed, you need to set some time for you. This is where ME TIME comes into play. Reading a book, drinking hot tea, taking a hot bath, doing a little beauty regime, watching your favorite show, or whatever it is, DO IT! Allow God to replenish you during this time. It could be a simple prayer, praise, or worship. We have a lot to be thankful for even if things aren't right in the marriage.



Be sexy at night. Wear something eye catching for yourself and husband. Spray on a little soft scent body spray and pull hair up (if you have long hair) or leave down. Even if you are not in the mood, you still want to be attractive to your husband at night. This speaks volumes. Have fun getting dress. Make it an event even if he doesn't notice (I'm very sure he will).
Yours truly,















August 13, 2009

Arguing: Win But Sitll Lose





A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. (Proverbs 18:2)
Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 29:20)

There’s something we’ve been learning in our own marriage about communicating with each other that we’d like to discuss in this Marriage Message because we’re seeing so many others struggle with the same issue. That is, we need to be careful when arguing with our spouse that we don’t run over our partner with our words just because we’re better at communicating (arguing) than they are.
We may be able to out-argue our spouse but that doesn’t mean our point of view is more “right” than theirs. It just means that we may be more skilled, or quicker, or wordier at arguing our point of view than our spouse is.

Some people are better communicators than others but that doesn’t mean they “know” more than others or that the other person’s point is less worthy to be heard. It means that they can form their thoughts more succinctly and communicate them in such a way that it sounds better than how others can speak and convey their thoughts.

With this type of giftedness, comes responsibility. Those of us who have the ability to “out-argue” our spouse need to be careful because we can run right over our spouse with how we argue and make the other feel stupid and less heard (and valued). The Bible verse, “To whom much is given, much is required” comes into play here. Because of the skillfulness of how we, the more skilled debater can handle words, we need to be all the more careful not to use it to an unfair advantage.

We can sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that because we’re better at making our point sound more legitimate than the next person, our point of view “wins.” But that can be a real flawed way of thinking. It usually doesn’t mean our point wins — it just means that we were able to make our point sound more reasonable than the next person. The Bible says, “There is a way that seems right to a man but in the end it leads to death.” (Proverbs 14:12) It also says, “The way of a fool seems right to him but a wise man listens to advice.” (Proverbs 12:15)

Sometimes we can win the argument but lose in our marriage because we’ve made our spouse feel like what they think about things isn’t as legitimate as what we think. Just because they don’t know how to communicate what’s deep inside their hearts and minds as well as we can, it doesn’t invalidate what they feel. What they feel and perceive IS as important (and many times is more important) than what the argument is all about in the first place.

Eventually our spouse may come to the point where they won’t even try to get us to see their side of things because they don’t think we’ll listen to or care about what they have to say. It can drive them away emotionally from even participating in very important times of communicating with us. And then we wonder, “Why won’t he/she communicate with me?”

Actually, it started earlier in our relationship when we shut them down by not listening to “their side” of things or we made fun of their feelings because our point of view sounded better in our view than theirs did.This is called “giving each other grace and space” which is important. Be merciful and give grace (good will) to your spouse when and where they need it whenever it’s possible. If you’re more skilled at arguing than your spouse is, don’t run over them with your words. Keep in mind what the Bible says, “When words are many, sin is not absent; but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19). Make sure you not only say what you feel is absolutely necessary to communicate to them, but also listen to what they have to say.You need to learn to listen. To learn the power of listening, you’ll have to begin with one vow: to rid yourself of the “How - can - I - get - you - to - shut - up - and - listen - to - me?” mind-set and replace it with a “What - can - I - do - to - create - a - safe - place - where - understanding - can - take - root - and - grow?” attitude. You may need to learn how to listen to the intention of their heart or listen to what they may want to communicate to you but for some reason can’t. And both of you may need to build up your speaking/listening skills so you can help each other in this. If your spouse won’t cooperate in this mission to help your marriage, then work to make this happen as best as you can. Ask God to speak to your heart as to how to apply them to your life with your marital partner.--http://www.marriagemissions.com/category/marriage-messages/

August 06, 2009

Avoid the Typical Pitfalls of Marriage









No couple embarks on married life expecting to end up in divorce court, but that’s what happens to more than one million American couples each year. And when they do the postmortem, they often find their marriage was sabotaged by one of these 10 traps:

1. Taking your partner for granted. That’s like having a garden that you’re not weeding or fertilizing, says Robert Billingham, professor of human development and family studies at Indiana University. “You can’t expect it to continue to thrive.” Let your partner know you appreciate him or her.

2. Forgetting that a good marriage takes work. “People think that having a happy marriage is a magical, mystical occurrence,” says marriage and family therapist Dr. Leslie Parrott, co-author of When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages (Zondervan/HarperCollins). “We’ve accepted the fact that parenting takes a lot of skill, but we don’t want to accept the idea that romantic love takes a great deal of work, too.”

3. Not talking through conflict. If you rely on heavy sighs, slammed doors and other non-verbal communication when something is bothering you, you could be playing with fire. As painful as it may be to get the conversation started, you must speak up. “Otherwise, problems start festering and begin to take on a life of their own,” explains Sharon Naylor, author of The Unofficial Guide to Divorce (Hungry Minds).

4. Failing to romance your partner. “We all want to be made to feel special,” says psychologist Kate Wachs, author of Relationships for Dummies (Hungry Minds) and Dr. Kate’s Love Secrets (Paper Chase Press). “That’s why it’s so important to set aside at least one night per week for you and your spouse. Use this regular ‘date night’ to share your hopes and dreams.”

5. Fighting dirty. The better you know somebody, the easier it is to hurt that person. “No matter how angry you may be about something,” Naylor says, “you need to resist the temptation to figure out the one thing that will hurt your partner the most and then use that against him.”

6. Fighting over money. A recent study by the Million Dollar Round Table, an international association of life insurance and financial services professionals, found that 43% of married couples argue about money. If money’s becoming a major source of conflict, you might consider sitting down with a financial planner or some other 3rd party that can help come up with a financial game plan you both can live with.

7. Letting the passion fizzle. “Have sex often — anytime either of you is in the mood,” Wachs says. “If you wait until both partners are in the mood, you won’t end up having much sex at all and, over time, you’ll end up drifting apart.”
8. Shutting down sexually when you’re angry rather than dealing with issues. Although withholding affection may seem like the ideal way to punish your partner, you risk seriously damaging your relationship, Wachs says.

9. Failing to understand that marriages have ups and downs. “It’s OK to expect incredible moments in your marriage,” Parrott says. “Just don’t expect them to happen every day.”

10. Throwing in the towel too easily. “We’re so accustomed to the concept of obsolescence that we treat our partners as disposable,” says Herb Glieberman, a Chicago divorce attorney and author.

Vow to rekindle the flames rather than looking for the closest escape hatch.

August 04, 2009

The In's and Out's of Life With the In-Laws

Jesus repeated what was said at the beginning of our existence when He said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5).

This passage is used very often and because of that, it’s crucial we don’t become numb to its basic points.

A New Loyalty
First, marrying our spouse means we turn our loyalties to him. That doesn’t mean we are not loyal to our parents, but that we place priority on our husband. One obvious step to leaving our parents that shows we place priority on our husband is changing homes. Our attention and effort turn toward our family’s well being and happiness and a central home together. Second, becoming one flesh, in addition to referring to a husband and wife joining sexually, suggests we should stand united with our spouse regardless of outside opinions. We are so united with our spouse it’s as if the two of us are one person. Even if other people, such as in-laws, disapprove or offer their opinions, we make our own decisions and stand by them, together.

The Middle-Man Rule
One primary difficulty married couples face is in managing conflict with the parents of their spouse. It’s a very good idea to make your spouse the “middle man” for conflicts you have with his or her parents. Relationships are stronger when they have time behind them and, as they say, blood is thicker than water. Therefore, in-laws will probably react better to a request from their son. If his parents need to back off, it’s better that it comes from him.
It’s important to be sensitive to your spouse’s feelings concerning your parents. If he feels crowded or disrespected, it’s important you take these feelings seriously and act to improve the situation. These principles should also be taken into consideration by parents and should influence the way they treat their child’s spouse.

Independent Identity
You’ll know you’re in a situation where change should occur when you and your spouse don’t feel you have your own identity. One of the purposes of marriage is for a couple to establish an identity that is independent of their parents. If this doesn’t happen, a healthy marriage becomes much more of a challenge. Some marriage experts say couples should not live in the same town as either of their parents. The reasoning is that with constant availability of their parents, the couple doesn’t learn to rely on each other. It’s difficult to form an identity together unless each of you learns to rely on the other instead of parents. It is not my opinion that every couple should live in a separate town from their in-laws, but for some, that situation might be best. It might be best for you if your in-laws are too involved in certain aspects of your relationship — especially if they are too involved in conflicts between you and your spouse. Part of what it means to have your own identity as a couple is that conflicts are resolved without the involvement of in-laws. If you and your spouse are arguing about any subject, neither has the right to involve a parent in the disagreement. If your spouse brings a parent in on an argument, you’re probably going to feel it’s “them against you.” This violates the oneness attitude that should exist in your marriage relationship.

Mutual Respect
In all things, respect your mother and father-in-law. Remember, they are the parents of someone very special — your spouse. If you are a parent of a married child, your son-in-law or daughter-in-law is very special because he or she is your child’s life partner. It is best for each family to realize the independence of the other. Your spouse must know your parents will not interfere with the family you are building. Your parents must realize you and your spouse need to build a life and relationship separate from them. This requires patience and, at times, may be painful. It’s important to honor and respect your in-laws, but above that, protect your marriage. This principle will pay great dividends in the future.---author unknown