Be Careful: Your Husband Will Seek Affirmation Somewhere

Have you ever noticed how the adulterous woman in the book of Proverbs seduces the unwitting young man? It’s not with sex (okay, it’s not just with sex); it’s with flattery. “She threw her arms around him… and with a brazen look she said, “I’ve offered my sacrifices and just finished my vows. It’s you I was looking for!’ …With her flattery she enticed him. He followed her at once” (from Proverbs 7).
Flattery is simply a seductive counterfeit for affirmation. As one marriage counselor said, “Affirmation is everything. When a man is affirmed, he can conquer the world. When he’s not, he is sapped of his confidence and even his feeling of manhood. And believe me, he will, consciously or unconsciously, seek out places where he receives affirmation.”

Home is the most important place for a man to be affirmed. If a man knows that his wife believes in him, he is empowered to do better in every area of his life. A man tends to think of life as a competition and a battle, and he can energetically fight it out if he can come home to someone who supports him unconditionally, who will wipe his brow and tell him he can do it. As one of our close friends told me, “It’s all about whether my wife thinks I can do it. A husband can slay dragons, climb mountains, and win great victories if he believes his wife believes that he can.”

Don’t tear him down!
If instead of affirming, a wife reinforces her husband’s feelings of inadequacy, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if we focus on our attention on what he is doing wrong in the relationship, we can unwittingly undermine what we most want—for him to do it right.
But I discovered a dismaying fact. Of the men I surveyed, only one man in four felt actively appreciated by his family. And 44 percent of men actually felt unappreciated at home. More pointedly, men in their prime years of responsibility for home, children, and work —men between their ages of thirty-six and fifty-five —felt even less appreciated.
I’ll bet that many of the wives or girlfriends of these men would be surprised to learn that they didn’t feel appreciated. My guess is that most of us do appreciate our men but don’t show it enough.

He’ll seek affirmation somewhere
If a man isn’t convinced that his woman thinks he’s the greatest, he will tend to seek affirmation elsewhere. He may spend more hours at work, where he feels alive and on top of his game, or he may spend too much time talking to the admiring female associate. He may immerse himself in watching or playing sports, feeling the thrill of the competitive rush. Or he may retreat to his workshop or his home office, feeling like he can control things there even if he feels inadequate and clumsy elsewhere.
“Why else do you think,” one man asked me, “so many men take sports so seriously? It’s something they feel good at, something they’ve practiced. They are admired and encouraged by other men on the field. People say ‘good hit?’ or ‘good shot!’ or show by tightening their defense that they know you’re about to smoke them. There’s nothing like that feeling. But I feel that same way at home when my wife applauds me for bringing in a big business deal or brags to her friends about what a good father I am. It’s that same feeling.”

Several experts said that a chronic lack of affirmation is one reason so many men slip into pornography addiction. For whatever reason, they feel like less than a man, so they seek —and find! —affirmation in pornography. As one man pointed out, “All those women in the men’s magazines convey one message: ‘I want you, and you are the most desirable man in the world.’ My wife may be nagging me at home, the kids may be disobedient, and I may be worried about messing up at work, but look at the woman in that picture makes me feel like a man.”

If affirmation is indeed everything, why should a man have to look for it in other places when he has a wife who loves and respects him? There’s nothing wrong with work, sports, or hobbies— it’s wonderful for him to feel alive and encouraged in those pursuits— but they shouldn't’t have to be a retreat from an un-affirming home life.

Create a safety zone
Obviously, if many of our men spend their workdays feeling like they are always being watched and judged, it is no wonder that they want to come home to a totally accepting environment, where they can safely let their guard down. Men need a place where they can make their mistakes in peace and not constantly worry that they are one misstep away from being exposed.
If we don’t realize this and are perhaps too attentive to their mistakes at home, we risk creating a situation that is the opposite of what we want. Most of us want our men to be able to relax and truly open up to us. But in many ways, it is up to us to create the intimate, safe environment that makes that possible.
We may think that the adage, “his home must be his haven” is antiquated and unnecessary these days, but that is far from the truth. In fact, as the workplace has gotten harsher and less loyal, more demanding and less tolerant of mistakes, I’d say it’s even more important that a man’s home be a haven. Most of the men crave a retreat from the daily pressure of always having to perform.

The gift of confidence
We might think we wouldn’t have the ability to change our man’s feelings of workplace inadequacy, but we would be wrong. By staunchly supporting our men, showing that we believe in them, and providing an emotionally safe environment to come home to, we can help give them at least the emotional confidence they need to dive back into the daily workplace fray.

author unknown

Don't Be Too Pooped To Pucker

Romantic marriage rule #1: Don’t be too pooped to pucker
Do you have 20 seconds a day to devote to your marriage?
If you can manage one-third of a minute a day, they suggest dividing it between a passionate kiss when you part in the morning and another when you meet again at night. Most people find it’s a longer lip lock than they expect.
A kiss is important because how couples greet each other “sets the emotional tone for intimacy for the whole rest of the evening,” said Parrot, who co-wrote “When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages” with her husband, Les. “If you start off with ‘What’s for dinner?’ or ‘Did you get the mail?’ that sets a different tone.”

Time Together:
Finding time for each other can be challenging for parents, who sometimes sacrifice romance to the demands of children and busy schedules.
Parents today “really take their parenting role seriously, often at the expense of their own relationship,” David Arp said. “It’s always, ‘Next month we’ll have time for us.’ But it never quite happens.”

“Parents let the ‘goodies’ the fun, friendship and intimacy that brought them together in the 1st place fall by the wayside,” Jordan said. “Life gets very hectic, and children and work clamor for attention. A relationship doesn’t until it’s in bad shape.”

For many new parents, the sudden switch from “all-us” time to “all-baby” time is difficult, Parrot said. “You trade in your couple relationship for a family-centered relationship,” she noted. While for most it’s a positive trade, parents might mourn the loss of their close coupledom.

Date Night:
Postponing romance until kids leave the house shouldn’t be an option. Romance when kids are around is tepid, at best. So parents always end up with the well-worn favorite: date night. “When parents schedule time together regularly, they’re amazed at how different their lives look afterward,” said Jordan. “They’re much less angry with each other. It really makes a difference.”
The Jacobson’s go out to dinner or get dessert so they can talk instead of seeing a movie. Sometimes they walk or sit by the lake. A different setting helps you focus on your partner —”Oh right, that’s why I married you” —rather than the mundane details of the day,” said Jacobson, whose children range in age from 10 to 17.

If parents don’t make an effort to stay connected in small ways, however, the slights and problems build up and they end up fighting during their precious alone time. “Separate the business of the relationship from the pleasure of the relationship,” Jordan advised. “Otherwise, the first time you’re away from the kids, you’ll end up in an argument about an item from the checkbook.”

Understanding the three facets of love passion, intimacy and commitment can help parents understand what might be missing from their relationship. Then they can spend their date time filling that need, Parrott said. She and her husband rate their love life on a scale of 1 to 10 using each of the 3 factors. “Many times, my passion is a 2,” said Parrott, who has a 4-year-old son. “Parents have lots of opportunities for passion to be do used.”
In that case, she said, seeing a movie is probably not going to be a fulfilling date. “We don’t have time as parents to be sloppy in keeping love alive,” she said.

“You see so many marriages crumbling,” Jacobson said. “You have to be proactive and take care of your marriage. It’s not something that’s just going to happen.”
Having friendship as the basis for their relationship helps them communicate quickly about important things without wasting time fighting, Jacobson said. “It hasn’t always been perfect,” she said.

“But no matter how many years go by, our relationship feels quite fresh. One of the secrets of staying in love is falling in love over and over. You can learn the same things about a person, but on deeper and deeper levels.”
Stephanie Dunnewind

Vaginal Rejuvenation

I was watching one of my favorite shows, Dr. 90210 and that's when I found out about this. There was this lady on the Dr. 90210 show needing vagina rejuvenation. She said that every time she laughs or sneeze she has some urine spillage due to giving birth to big babies. Her and husband are in the office while the doctor explains the procedures of the operation. Before the consultation was over with, the Dr. asked the woman, "how tight do you want to be?" Then Dr. proceeded to say, "do you want to be like a 13yr old, 16 again, or 21yr old?" Meanwhile her husband had the biggest smirk on his face, the woman was blushing saying, "uhhhh, 16yr. old." Her husband was happy and the Dr. was laughing saying, "great choice and I"m sure your husband will enjoy it!"

So now I'm thinking. Am I stretched out? Is my husband satisfied? Would he like a tighter cooch? I too had children, three. Although they weren't big babies, I delivered all three naturally. Went to hubby and asked, "am I loose?" Of course he had no idea what I was talking about. "Babe, would you like for me to have a tighter vagina (didn't use the word vagina, lol)." "Do you men like it very tight?" He looked at me and said, "no." Wives, I couldn't believe he said that. I told him about the men on t.v. and how they were acting (like fools) when these women get vagina rejuvenation. He laughed. He said that not all men want it tight or too tight. I asked him does it bring better satisfaction and he said not really. My hubby thinks I'm perfect in that area. I was really shock! I was considering it too, but to my surprise he put a stop to it. So wives, it depends on your man, but more importantly it depends on you.

They say to do Kegel's, but I don't like it. It does nothing for me, also it seems like forever before you may notice any results. Still haven't felt any results. Read up and check it out!


Tightening and Re-Building the Vagina
About the vaginal rejuvenation™ and vagina tightening procedures:

"When the vagina becomes stretched from aging and child birth vaginal rejuvenation™ tightens and restores the vagina and supporting structures to a "pre-pregnancy" state, thereby re-establishing friction that increases sexual gratification for both women and men!
In vaginal relaxation, the muscles are relaxed and have poor tone, strength, and control. The internal and external diameters increase. The muscles of the perineum are weak and poorly supported. Under these circumstances, the vagina is no longer at its optimum physiological state. As a result, the sensual side of sexual gratification is diminished. Vaginal rejuvenation™ can enhance sexual gratification for women who for whatever reason lack an overall optimum architectural integrity of the vagina.

No one wants to age or lose optimal function anywhere, and this includes the vaginal and vulvar structures. Some doctors use a laser and some do not, please ask your surgeon which method they utilize.

Vaginal Rejuvenation™ Costs:
Depending on your choice of doctor and geographic location vaginal rejuvenation™ prices may range between $4500 and $9000."

Before and After Photos:
http://www.lasertreatments.com/labiaplasty_before_and_after_pictures.html

Sexy Hairdos

Have you ever notice how your husband respones when you come home with a fresh new 'do? I don't know what it is, but the hair says it all. You could have the hottest outfit, but if your hair isn't sharp to compliment the rest, then forget it! Whether you do weave, rollers, braids, perms, or natural make sure your mane is well kept.

Variety is the spice of life. Changing up your hairstyle is a sure way to give yourself a lift. And there's nothing like the allure of pillow hair to get your spouse's attention. Make sure you use products that does best for your hair. All these years I would try to find one brand product line that would be suitable for all of my hair needs. Well, I'm at peace now having many different brand products for my hair. Example: Creme of Nature Shampoo, Razac finishing creme, Soft Sheen Jam, African Pride oil, Bigen, Lottabody wrapping foam, and Mizani just to name a few. One of my girlfriends introduced me to this new product called Kinky Curly Custard which I will be adding to my collection.

Your hair is worth the investment, so make sure you give it the proper attention it needs.

Here are a few easy tips to get you started:
Don't get stuck on trends. Start with a versatile cut that works with your hair texture.

Find a colour that's flattering for you and realistic for your hair whether its a solid colour, highlights, a rinse whatever. This keeps your hair looking great longer and with less effort.

Shine and condition always say youre healthy and ready for action. Try a gloss or a regular conditioning treatment. There are many excellent do-at-home products out there.

For more drama, tuck a clip-on hairpiece into your own hair. They're super easy and many come already curled or straight so the works already done. For short hair, choose one that's mid-length for a more natural look.

Do not underestimate the power of the 'do. I promise, it'll be well worth a little extra effort!
Author for tips: billy

What Every Wife Should Know About Her Husband

No one plays as significant a role in meeting a man’s unique needs as his wife. Researchers have identified his needs, but only his wife can truly satisfy them. Some of your husband’s most basic needs in marriage are:

(1) to be admired

(2) to have autonomy

(3) to enjoy shared activity

He Needs to be Admired

Being appreciated is a man’s primary need. He measures his worth through his achievements, big and small, and needs them to be recognized. A woman’s need for admiration and appreciation, while certainly important, is rarely as strong. When a woman seeks appreciation she is more accurately wanting to be understood, to be validated. You see, there is a significant difference between men and women when it comes to being admired. Men derive their worth more from what they do, while women derive their worth more from who they are.
Look at it this way. When women do not receive admiration from their spouse, they tend to be more motivated than ever to earn it. But when a man does not receive admiration from his spouse, he begins to lose motivation to try. Without a feeling of being admired, a man’s energy is drained. He soon feels inadequate and incapable of giving support. Without being admired, men lose their will to give.

You have no idea how damaging a critical statement is to your man’s personal power. He responds to not being admired the same way you do when he invalidates your feelings. It is demoralizing.
Admiration is the fuel a man needs to get going. It gives him power.

Now, before you begin heaping words of praise on your spouse, I need to give you a word of caution. Never fake your admiration. By simply saying flattering words to your husband, you can do more harm than good. To have any value, praise must genuinely reflect your feelings.

He Needs to Have Autonomy

Men and women cope differently with stress. Whenever a man is under stress (an important deadline is approaching, he is under pressure at work, etc.), he requires a little space.
At such times he becomes absent-minded, unresponsive, absorbed, and preoccupied. Unlike women, men typically don’t want to talk about the situation, they don’t want to be held or comforted—not until they have had time to themselves.

Some wives complain because their husbands don’t immediately talk about their day when they come home from work. They first want to read the paper (watch ESPN like mines) or water the lawn, anything to clear their mind before engaging in the relationship. It’s a male thing. But giving your husband space when he needs it, whether you understand it or not, will gain you a happier husband.

Enjoy Shared Activity
Husbands place surprising importance on having their wives as recreational companions. The commercial caricature of men out in the wilderness, drinking, “It doesn’t get any better than this,” is false. It can get a lot better than that when a wife joins her husband in a shared activity that he enjoys.

If your activities have very little in common, then cultivate your spheres of interest. Don’t allow you and your partner to drift apart because you can’t find something enjoyable to do together. Some marriages fizzle because a wife didn’t use her creative energies to build enjoyable moments of fun and relaxation with her husband.
Think of activities that you might find somewhat pleasurable. Your next task is to schedule these activities into your recreational time together.
If you learn to meet your husband’s need for recreational companionship, you will discover that you are not only husband and wife, but best friends too.

author unknown.

Coping With Your Husband’s Annoying Habits

What’s your husband’s most annoying habit? Is it the way he slurps his cereal or cracks his knuckles? Is it the way he breathes, as one woman once complained?
The longer you’ve been married, the longer your list of pet peeves is bound to be. It’s not so much that your husband has added more bad habits over the years, but simply that the ones that were easy to put up with in the early days of your marriage have gradually eaten away at your nerves. Now they’ve reached that really tender spot that makes you yell “Ouch!” — and the honeymoon Novocain has worn off.
How can you deal with irritating habits? Try speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Point out to your husband, in a calm voice and preferably with a sense of humor, that what he is doing really irritates you. Perhaps he’ll make an effort to change his ways. Old habits are very hard to break, though, so don’t expect miracles.

Once the behavior has been named, you can express your feelings the next time he repeats it. It’s far better to say, “You’re really irritating me again,” than to actually be driven crazy by holding in the anger.
Meanwhile, try to admit that you may have irritating habits yourself. Perhaps if you ask your husband to identify your little quirks and then spend time working on those, you won’t keep concentrating on his.
If this approach doesn’t work, consider wearing a “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelet. The bracelet itself might not be an ideal choice for your jewelry collection, but its motto is well worth remembering — especially at stressful moments. I’ve been thinking about printing “What Would Jesus Do?” on a sticky note and attaching it to our bathroom mirror. Then the next time I find the cap-less tube of toothpaste lying in a pool of sticky, cool mint gel, I might not lose my cool.

Don’t forget to pray for your husband. Ask for patience. Take your complaints to the Lord and leave them there. Trust Him to make things better between the two of you.
It might also help to write a list of things that are irritating you to distraction. When you look at it, you’ll see how insignificant most of the items are. True, fleas and ants are irritating despite their tiny size. But we need to develop a new attitude about this small stuff. Let’s stop sweating and start counting to 10.

Once we’ve calmed down, we can start developing compassion for our mates — in spite of their irritating habits. (This sounds like something Jesus would do, doesn’t it?) Remember that we are to “cleave” (Genesis 2:24, King James Version) to our spouses for life. “Cleaving,”means sticking together no matter what happens and giving each other permission to be less than perfect.” (This probably includes eating one’s cereal in a less than perfect way.) We need to lighten up a little.

Don’t Touch That Button

Let’s look at two other areas where control battles are waged daily between spouses — television viewing and thermostat settings.
Many couples have different tastes when it comes to TV programs. The obvious solution is to purchase a second television set.
I wouldn’t recommend that for newlyweds. But seasoned couples — especially those who find themselves together 24 hours a day — can afford to spend a little time apart. Television viewing is one area where compromising seldom works; it’s unrealistic to expect an ESPN sports television fan to convert a Food Cooking Network fan, or vice versa.
If buying a second television set isn’t possible, try watching one show while taping another. Unfortunately, my husband and I can’t agree on who gets to see the live production and who has to wait to view the tape. That’s why we have “his” and “her” TV sets — one upstairs, one downstairs. (I take the upstairs because it’s so much warmer up there!)

The Choice Is Yours

When it comes to dealing with the things about our husband that drive us to distraction, it pays to keep things in perspective.

“What I’ve Learned”:

• I’ve learned that being kind is more important than being right.
• I’ve learned that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
• I’ve learned that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow you may have to eat them.
• I’ve learned that I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do.

We can’t help it if our husband gets on our nerves at times. But we can help what we do with our angry feelings. We can choose to count to ten, shoot off a prayer for patience, or laugh it off.

unknown author.

Managing The Home Front

When friends enter a home they sense its personality and character, the family’s style of living—these elements make a house come alive with a sense of identity, a sense of energy, enthusiasm, and warmth, declaring, this is who we are; this is how we live. (Ralph Lauren)

Running a household is no piece of cake. When I think about the tasks that generally fall on a woman’s shoulders, I sometimes want to scream, “Time out!” Why am I the one who is in charge of the laundry, the bills, the dinner, the housecleaning, the grocery shopping, and the kids’ activities? Of course, your responsibilities may not be exactly the same as mine. Every couple’s situation is different, which means the division of household responsibilities may be different. We each come into marriage with our own preconceived ideas about the duties of a husband and a wife. We also have different levels of responsibility outside the home.

There’s no right or wrong way to figure out who does what. The important thing is for you and your husband to have a mutual understanding of one another’s roles as you work through the responsibilities of your household together. At a time when you’re both relaxed and comfortable, prayerfully discuss what a healthy balance of responsibilities would be in your home. Decide what each of you can do to support your marriage and the proper running of your household. Work together to divide the load as best you can.

Both of you will have to compromise. Even so, the way the tasks break down between the two of you may not seem completely fair. As a positive wife, be willing to take on more than your fair share. Here’s why: No spouse sees the entire weight of the workload that the other spouse carries during the day. If you’re going to err, err on the side of giving, not getting. Be faithful to keep up with your responsibilities and do your part to make the household run smoothly without focusing on what your husband is or isn’t doing.

If your husband is the sole breadwinner in the family, you can take on the major part of managing the home front. He can be more effective in his job if he’s supported by a well-run home. Part of your role is understanding the struggles your husband may face in a typical day and recognizing that he may be coming home tired and weary. Perhaps he had to deal with a challenging situation or a difficult person at work; maybe he had to drive through an hour of bumper-to-bumper traffic.
When he walks in the door, the last thing he needs is to be hit with a list of chores or a litany of complaints. (You can tell him your gripes and concerns later. Maybe they won’t seem so important to you by the.) Instead, great him with a smile and a hug and help him to feel glad to be there.

If both of you are employed, you’ll have to work harder to find a healthy balance between you. Consider each other’s time and workload expended outside the home. Look for solutions to make your life together less stressful. If possible, pay someone else to do a chore, so that your time and energy can go into activities that you need to do yourself.

For years I cleaned my own house; but when I had heart surgery, I started paying a maid to do what she does best, so I can do what I do best (be stress free). I also cook dinner every night of the week except for Fridays, and Saturdays.

I finally realized that my responsibility is to provide a dinner for my family, whether I cook it or not. Sometimes takeout from a local restaurant works just as well as home cooking (and tastes a whole lot better). Consider the cost; look for coupons and children eat for free days; but pay for help when you can.

When dividing domestic tasks, take into account the unique gifts, abilities, and talents each of you possesses. In my family, Donovan does the gardening, lawn maintenance, and decorating the outside of the house house. On the other hand, I do laundry and handle household maintenance.

After the two of you have determined what is right, reasonable, and fair for both of you to do around the house, set in your mind that you will always do more than your fair share. Don’t grumble, nag, or complain (how unbecoming of a positive wife!). Instead, move forward prayerfully and cheerfully in God’s strength. The blessing of a well-run home will be your reward.

Getting Organized: On my bookshelf I probably have 10 books telling me how to schedule my days, organize my household, and get a handle on housekeeping. Each book is packed full of wonderful, creative ways to use my time wisely and keep my home in tip-top shape. Unfortunately, most of the books could have the same subtitle: Thousands of Great Ideas That Nobody Actually Puts into Practice.
I don’t want to overwhelm you with a myriad of ideas. I just want to share a few solid, practical tips that can make a lasting difference in our homes and in our lives.

Organizing Stuff: Even a naturally messy person like me can learn to maintain a neat and tidy environment. How? By following these three simple steps.
1. Remember the adage “A place for everything, and everything in its place.” When you know where a certain item belongs, it’s easier to return it to its place. Think of yourself as a placement expert, getting all the lost articles in your house to their proper homes. You can even have a location for all the items that you want to deal with later—just make sure you also choose a time each week to eliminate the junk pile. which leads me to my next point.

2. Designate a time to kill piles and annihilate clutter. Set a specific time each week for dealing with outstanding piles and help yourself by being clutter conscious throughout the week. Stuff can pile up so quickly! Mail is one of the biggies. When the mail arrives, stand by a trash can and go through it. Throw away junk mail and things you know you will never read. Then place place bills in their proper place and read the letters you need to see right away.
Make it a nightly routine to clear the kitchen table and counter tops of excess stuff and put utensils and appliances in order. You’ll go to be feeling you’ve accomplished something, and you’ll wake up to a clean kitchen. It’s the best way to start the day!

3. Create a personal game plan for cleaning the house. You may choose to clean half the house one day and the other half another day. Or maybe you’d rather clean the bathrooms one day, the bedrooms on a second day, and the kitchen and living room on a third. Laundry can also be done by routine. I usually do my husband’s laundry on Monday, mine on Tuesday, and my daughters’ on Wednesday and Thursday.

author for tips: unknown

Setting Boundaries In The Marriage

What is tolerated and not tolerated in your marriage and home will need to be discuss. Is it okay for husband to go out late, cursing or is smoking allowed in your home? How about your or his friends coming to your home unannounced. If you have a blended family, rules need to be established for his child's mother or your child's father. Make it clear to family and friends what is expected of them in your home. I'm not saying to give family and friends a laundry list of do's and don'ts or what is expected of them, however when a red flag appear then it's best to address the issue.

If you haven't already start setting boundaries in the marriage with your husband. You both need to have a clear understanding of the company you are keeping. Childhood friends, colleagues, associates from the job, and the like. Are they good company? Does your husband approve of them? Men who don't fit into those categories need to be reconsider of having their number. What purpose are they serving anyway? You may not understand or agree, but as time goes on in the marriage you will see why this is important. That wonderful prince you married who makes you smile every time he calls your name will make you upset and hurt one day that you are thinking the unthinkable.

Let's be real, you are human and after a heated argument or fight, you just might call up that "friend" of yours. I know you don't have feelings for him or nothing is going on, but that's how it starts, that one simple innocent call. Next thing you know, he's your secret comforter, that security blanket, that one that tells you want you need to hear. Let me put it this way, what if it was the other way around? How would you feel then?

Husband needs to do the same thing. You both may want to go over these friends and who they are to you and him. Sounds cheesy doesn't it?...well...like I said it's best to do this now.

Hopefully you both will have a good group of mutual friends and couples that have you and husband best interest at heart. It's nothing like a good support group.

If there are new friends involved (especially opposite sex), then they need to be properly introduce.

Make sure you and your husband come into agreement with friends and the boundaries. Please be honest and communicate with one other. If you don't feel good about a friend of his, just be open (not too open, for the simple fact he might go back and tell this friend what you said) and let him know.
If the husband doesn't see the friend crossing boundaries or if he defends her/him then it's best to back off just a little. Only because if you press the issue, then he will feel like he has to hide his friend. You don't want to approach him the wrong way or accuse him. He might shut down or start sneaking the calls.

Golden wife, you have to ask God for wisdom on these matters. Just remember Christ is and will always be your comforter in every situation.

I'm Married, So Now What?

Once the hype has died down from the proposal, engagement party, bridal shower, and wedding planning and after all is done with the wedding vows, posing at every camera, cutting the cake, kissing every guest's cheek, dancing with swollen feet, hot sex, and waking up to this dream man you have been waiting for. Before you know it, you are sitting in your new home on the couch looking at the walls wondering..."now what?"

Now the real journey begins! Chapter one in your married life should be a time where you and your husband bond all the more. There is always a bonding time on the course of marriage. I don't care how long you have been married...bond, bond, bond. Trust needs to be built up even more, communication level needs to be improved. Every married couple need to have their codes. So when in a public place or someone home, the both of you can communicate efficiently without using words. Example: tapping his foot means....taking off your glasses means....rubbing your head means.....

Spending time apart is also essential. You don't want to be up under him or baby sit his every move. Keep it fresh and the chase going. Marriage boundaries need to be set, not just for friends, but family, especially the family. Do double dates with other couples: keep the marriage fun and alive by having other couples you both enjoy hanging out with.

During this time, and throughout all the years, continue being yourself. Don't forget all the little things you did that made you happy before you got married. Continue to do them. Do you know how to live like you are single in marriage? Golden Wife, balance will be the key to just about everything. If you every feel like your are losing yourself and confused, or fearful in the marriage you just ask God for clarity and His peace. He will guide you.

Classy Lady

My prayer to all the Golden Wives

The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and strong, and I love her.

Help her live her life to the fullest.

Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations.

Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love.

Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most, and let her know when she walks with you, she will always be safe.

Love you much and I want to see you prosper!

INTRODUCING MYSELF

I was 5 months pregnant when I got married at the young age of 21. Being forced into the marriage because of the pregnancy, I was rushed into marriage hood with no instructions on how to be a wife...a Godly wife. I felt I had to mature and grow quickly. Which ended up taking a long time. Yes, the bible does gives us the foundation and instructions for wives, however there has been certain issues and situations that I found myself in and needed guidance. I have made many mistakes and I'm not proud of certain things I did in the marriage, but I have learned from each of them. Being married now for 12+ years and separated for 2 years, I know I have something to bring to the table for wives and wives to be. I want to discuss all that people won't or don't tell you. I want to tell all of the unwritten rules of marriage.
This is a place where you as a wife can be brutally open and honest...whether you are a pastor's wife or a coal miner's wife, here at the Golden Wives Club, you can ask for advice, or share experiences.
No one is here to judge, I have been there, done that, learned, and moved on from it. Let's all be kind with everyone in the Golden Wives Club and walk in the love of God with all issues.

In the GWC, I am sure I will be stepping on some toes. Not to upset anyone, but just being truthful and honest. You may not always agree which is fine, but remember, no one knows your husband better then God...so in the end, make sure you get your confirmation, answer, and/or advice from the One who created your husband...God, in Jesus name.

You must see yourself as the wife/help meet God created you to be. You are unique and like no other. Your gifts are priceless and yes you do have a lot to bring to the table. You walk and talk with grace. You value yourself and you believe that God is doing great things in your life/future. You must believe and see yourself as Christ sees you. You are a Golden Wife.