Don't Make Him Guess What You Want

To men, your silence means one thing: that everything is just fine with you the way things are. To him, if you are not requesting, demanding, or protesting anything, nothing's broke; and if it ain't broke he won't try to fix it. The best thing you could do for him and for yourself is to ask for what you want. There's no guarantee that you'll always get it, but at least you give him something clear and concrete to either deliver or deny. He can use his energy to respond to your need, rather than to guess what it is.

A common false belief, held by many women who love men, is that real love means either: (a) He should already know what I want or need; or (b) If he doesn't know he should take it upon himself to ask,and ask, and ask...Men are much better at loving by giving and doing, than at asking and guessing. To get the best of his love, open our mouth and state your case.

Men love to satisfy their women's desires. It makes them feel quite capable and needed (both of which they love). Men despise hopping around to supply every selfish whim or wish-list item that their women make known. It makes them feel exploited. If you clearly communicate to him what you truly appreciate, believe me, he'll let you know one way or the other where he stands.

Say it: "I will never be without what I desire from the man I love because I did not make it known. He will know it because I will say it."

Do it: " What do you want from him that you are not clearly making known to him? Before you ask him, ask yourself: Is this a realistic request? Is he the right person to ask it of? Is this the right time? If the answer is no to any one of these, table or trash your request. If the answer is yes, calmly, clearly, kindly ask for what you want.---Dr. Ronn Elmore

How To Keep Your Skin Looking Young!

It is never to early to start worrying about keeping one’s skin young, don’t wait till you are in your 50’s to begin stressing about fighting wrinkles and age spots. By developing healthy skin habits in your 20’s you can work towards eliminating the skin problems you might encounter in your later years. Below is a list of how to achieve this.

The most important things to remember in keeping your skin young are these rules:
1. You ARE what you EAT.
It is important to understand that everything you put inside your mouth comes out through your skin. If you eat foods that are high in grease and lacking of nutrients, you tend to break out and produce unnecessary oil. It is also important for you to remember that what you eat plays a huge role in how you age. While simple carbs ( white sugar, cookies, candy) tend to speed up your ageing process, complex carbs found in vegetables and fruits tend to rejuvenate you and de-age your skin.

It is also important to remember to eat the right fat, as it tends to keep the skin plump and younger. It is important that you ensure that your diet is one of healthy proteins and fats like omega-3 and omega-6 essential fatty acids that are found in fish, nuts, soy products and fortified eggs. These fats help your body produce your skin’s natural oil barrier that hydrates it, as well as help in reducing acne-prone inflammations.

EXERCISE De-ages your body

If you are not a big fan of working-out to stay healthy, you should think twice; considering thatexercise plays a tremendous role on how young your body will look and feel in the future. Whether it is bike riding, walking, aerobics or strength training, your body and skin tremendously benefits from this. Here are a few benefits to exercising for a tighter and younger looking skin.

i. Exercise helps to strengthen your heart and lungs.

ii. It also works to decrease your blood pressure and LDL; also known as the bad cholesterol.

iii. Strength training, most importantly works to prevent the loss of bone mass; keeping your bones healthy and strong throughout the years.

iv. But most importantly, exercise works to increase the flow of blood in the body which not only helps in keeping your hair healthy, but also works to help release toxins in the body.

Keyword to everlasting youth: MOISTURIZE

In working towards keeping your skin looking young, it is very important to remember to MOISTURIZE both inside and outside. You moisturize your body from the inside by drinking lots of water. Water helps rid your body of toxins, as well as keeping your skin hydrated.

Moisturizing your body outside is done by apply appropriate creams and lotions. One of the most important habits you can adopt towards keeping a younger looking skin is to REMEMBER To WEAR SUNSCREEN. It is important to remember that the number one factor in aging fast is EXCESSIVE SUN EXPOSURE!! Not only is excessive sun exposure damaging to your skin, but it is the number cause of skin cancer. Developing a healthy habit of wearingsunscreen, works towards reducing the sun’s damage and eliminating wrinkles; as well as, reducing the effect of uneven skin pigmentation that can also come from too much sun exposure.

Apart from wearing Sunscreen, it is very important to remember to always moisturize your skin. One of the fastest ways to age your skin is to leave it dry; because as you get older, your body begins to lose its ability to naturally moisturize itself. Therefore it is important that you always remember to moisturize yourself from head to toe.
REMEMBER, you can start now to rewind the hands of time before it is too late!

Author: Azara

Infertility: A Season Of Purpose

As we live our lives and go through its many seasons we will experience various kinds of personal loss and grief such as with singleness, marriage, parenthood, and career. Solomon recognized that God had “an appointed time” or “season” for each event in our lives. In Ecclesiastes 3:1,2, he says,

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven —A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.”

Like each of life’s seasons, the season of fertility contains its own personal challenges. Some

couples do not experience infertility difficulties until after the birth of their first baby. The months and years pass them by while their first child is growing older and the span of potential years between the first and second is becoming greater.

Accepting the truth about our season of infertility is difficult whether we have none or six children.

For a Jewish woman in Biblical times, to be barren was shameful. Sons were needed to help support the family business and to proliferate the Jewish race. Family was very important to the Jewish tradition. Women were culturally and religiously expected to produce heirs causing them to compare their own personal worth as a wife to how many heirs they produced for their husband.

And, today, some of these cultural traditions and expectations continue, but they are subtle with less direct pressure. Modern forms of shame have emerged in our current culture due to past indiscretions, sex before marriage, abortion, and waiting “too long” to try to get pregnant. We tend to blame our infertility on ourselves promoting the feeling of condemnation from those who believe we have something terribly wrong with us because we are childless. These haunting feelings of inadequacy and failure can penetrate the depths of our marriage, causing relational difficulties.

Infertile couples may even blame each other for their failure to conceive. Sometimes distraught couples begin to reject each other. They begin to point to each other’s past mistakes and sins to substantiate their blame. A couple can be ripped apart at the seams when this destructive behavior is not identified and immediately stopped allowing confession and forgiveness to take place.

Infertility can highlight unresolved hurt and anger in a marriage. When a couple has not developed healthy coping skills with which to overcome difficulties and conflict within their marriage relationship, infertility will certainly put a spotlight on this deficiency.

There are some who claim that it is not personal sin, but their dashed dreams and unfulfilled expectations in having children that have brought them severe pain and anguish. These couples may cry out to God and say, “Why have you kept this blessing of children from our life?” We have tried to live a pure and righteous life! Why us?” However, God’s Word says that he does not withhold blessings from us. Psalms 34:10 says, “The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing.”

Blaming God for our barrenness can cause bitterness, hatred, anger, resentment, and much more sin to take hold in our souls that will slowly begin to corrupt us. Blaming God only distances ourselves from our loving creator. We need to seek Him during our time of affliction and we are not to turn away from Him. Psalms 33:20 tells us, “Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.”

As I struggled with childlessness while hiding my shame, blame and guilt; I found myself just trying to cope in my normal daily life. A few coping mechanisms I identified in my own dysfunction looked like this:

• I avoided activities where families will be present
• I dreaded the celebrations associated with Mother’s Day
• I immediately declined all invitations to baby showers because it hurt too much.

Some of the infertile women and men of the Bible used impure coping mechanisms with which to handle their feelings of shame and lack of self-worth. Sarah was anxious, Rachel was envious, Leah was jealous, and Hannah was depressed. Like these women, today, we may use similar methods to keep us from feeling the pain of infertility.

Compulsive coping mechanisms do not relieve our pain and will only give us short-term control of our situation. Once we recognize we are not coping in righteousness, we need to immediately go to our Heavenly Father and follow His way to cope with our infertility in a more fruitful manner.

This can be accomplished by:

• Asking God To Reveal Sin
• Confessing Sin (wrong thoughts, beliefs, actions)
• Resetting Our Standard

How Do I Reset My Standard?

Step 1: Walk in Faith

The easy way out of a situation is to do what everyone around is telling us to do. Well-meaning friends, relatives, and doctors can give advice and persuade us to follow the world’s path. Submitting our desires to God and waiting for his confirmation and direction can seem an impossible task when we are in deep depression. All these factors make it a challenge to reset our standard to God’s, but it is this challenging time when God does some of His mightiest work.However, God’s ways are not man’s ways (Isaiah 55:8). When we feel desperate in our human abilities and we choose to depend on God, we see Him move in incredible ways. This is when our faith is stretched and strengthened and we become closer to God than we have ever been.

Step 2: Surrender Control to God

God wants us to know He is in control of our past, present and future. He proved His position of control to us with the lives of Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah and Elizabeth. God’s perfect timing and great plans are more important than our desires and selfish demands. As Elizabeth and Zacharias (Luke 1) did, we need to remain focused on God’s bigger plan for our lives. We need to let Him operate in His perfect will and timing specific to His global perspective and plan. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”God tells us in Proverbs 21:5 that we are to do nothing in desperation. The passage says, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.” Resist the temptations associated with desperation and turn your face to God for His answers. Becoming sensitive to God’s voice and direction develops as we mature in Christ.

Step 3: Learn to Manage Expectations of Family and Friends

Well-meaning friends and family can create additional stress in our lives during infertility. I remember for myself as we were probed us for answers regarding our childless situation. The personal questions and careless statements often felt hurtful as we struggled through our infertility issues. For couples that are experiencing similar probing, it is important to realize that these family members and friends are showing their concern and interest about your life in the only way they know. It is easy for a grieving couple to believe people are being “nosey” and insensitive when in fact the opposite is true.

Step 4: Recognize the Blessings of Infertility

With the emotional ups and downs of infertility, the only way we can experience true hope and peace is through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. God uses times of infertility and loss in our lives to bring us closer to Him. He desires that we rely on Him for meeting our needs and wants. He wants us to give control over to Him. He wants us to recognize our human limitations and yield to His ways.The blessings we receive from our pain and suffering are sometimes difficult to acknowledge when we are deeply involved within our struggle. However, we are instructed by God’s Word to be thankful in all things (Phil. 4:6-7). In our despair, we must open our eyes and let them expand beyond ourselves, to see God at work. He is always “at work.” We need to recognize that we are a small part of a much bigger picture. Sometimes it takes a crisis in our lives before we can slow down and recognize the blessings He is bountifully bestowing on us.

Step 5: Ask God, “What is Your Plan for Me?”

Waiting on God during infertility can be a very trying time. We are tempted to place many of our future plans and decisions on hold while we seek and ponder which direction to take in our lives.We ask, “Should I buy that new house or car, quit my job, save money, serve on that board or committee, set up a nursery, and place that seed of excitement in my heart?” So much of our decision-making rests on the answer to the question, “God, what is your plan for me?”Life cannot come to a standstill while we wait for our “little blessing” to arrive. Keep moving forward in your plans while seeking God’s direction. Proverbs 16:9 puts it this way, “The mind of a man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.”It was a difficult and painful reality to come to terms with the fact that I had potentially missed my greatest opportunity to have a child of my own. I had squandered my fruitfulness on empty dreams and deceptive beliefs. This must have been how the prodigal son felt when he came to his senses and realized he had squandered his inheritance on emptiness and foolishness.

But, thankfully our God is a God of second chances who is loving, gracious and merciful to our needs and desires. As in the book of Joel, God says he restores what the locusts have eaten. We do not always know or understand how He will do this, but His Word says He will and I believe His Word. I may have missed my season of fertility, but God had mercy on me and gave me a second chance, in a unique and surprising way. During healing from my grief of infertility, God showed me that I am not in control of my fertility, He is. Through exercising humility, I came to understand that I have no entitlement to mother-hood. Becoming a mother is purely a blessing from God.

Step 6: Don’t Compare

I strongly urge you to resist comparing your life against the backdrop of other people’s lives. Your neighbor or co-worker may appear to have the perfect life with children, but we do not know the real path or true pain of their lives. The path God designed for you contains a valuable purpose. Let go of the temptation to believe that God has forgotten you. Have patience and courage to wait for God to act and confirm His will on His timetable. As I pursued God’s plan for my life, He began to unfold it for me and I finally concluded that His plan was beautiful, unique, purposeful, and created just for me.

As I have seen in countless situations, God uses a season of infertility for His purposes. The main purpose can be to allow healing in one or both of the couples’ lives from a buildup of a series of traumatic or grievous events. Another purpose may be to help drive the couple closer to Himself and to each other. Sometimes infertility allows for the consideration of adoption to help care for the world’s tremendous orphan needs. However, whatever the reason for infertility, God wants to use the time of waiting for His purpose and for His glory. I urge you to not give up hope during your season of infertility but to seek God for His answers.

kimberly taylor

Take Care of the Smell After Sex

After your husband ejaculates inside of you, over time your vagina may have a not so pleasant scent. It is important to care for yourself properly after sex just as you do before the sex. This maybe elementary information, however it's still needful and can be overlooked due to distractions of being a wife.

One way to care for yourself is the basic soap and water. Now this is good, but it only gets the outer part of the vagina. The real odor comes from within. I know studies now say that douching is not the best solution because it drys the vagina out. However douching once or twice a month should be alright. If your vagina is dry, then you could purchase, a lubricant that is designed to be inserted in the vagina. It's like a light oil. FDS carries the product which can be purchased at Wal-mart or any drug store.

Another way to clean yourself properly is with a feminine wash. This would be an excellent choice because this wash is a gentle, soap free cleanser designed to gently wash away odor causing bacteria from the external vaginal.

Now the best approach in my opinion is to soak in the bath tub. Add vinegar to your bath water. Vinegar is an excellent odor replant. When bathing, those extra body fluids will come out. This way, water does seep into the vagina giving it a light cleanse.



It's best to keep feminine wipes in your purse for quick sex moments with your husband when you are out and about. Hey, it happens. Best to be prepared, right? Also, when done cleaning yourself from the use of the bathroom. It's best to use a scented panie liner to catch any discharge from sex. This discharge could have a smelly odor so it 's best to be protected and use a feminine spray if needed. You don't want to walk around with the 'wet' feeling. Not pleasant at all!


Why do I mention all of this? Why not? Besides, may not be you, but have you ever been in your car sitting and you smell yourself? It's not a fishy scent, but it's a light foul odor, so you find yourself keeping your legs tightly closed or especially if you are in public? Or maybe you went to the bathroom, pulled down your panies and boom! The foul sex scent hits you in your face (even after you cleaned properly, it's still the discharge of your husband's sperm and your discharge). Matter of fact, when you are done, you are hoping that no one goes in that bathroom stall that you were in. Doesn't have to be a public bathroom, it could be your own bathroom at home and your husband uses it right after you. Save yourself the embarrassment! Again, maybe not you, but you know that female friend you have and her vagina has an odor and you don't know how to tell her. Don't let it be you because it can happen.

So it's best to stay on top of your 'A' game. Do this by keeping feminine wipes and maybe a feminine spray in your purse so you can freshen up anytime and feel confident sitting, standing, dancing and even using the public bathroom.

Yours truly,

Good Wife Qualities

If you’re a wife wanting to improve yourself, your marriage or your relationship – take a look at these 7 qualities of a good wife. Good fruit will come from these basic qualities anyone can develop.

7) Nag free. Ladies, a good wife is going to be nag free. Nagging is an ineffective method of trying to get your husband to perform a task you desire. Trust me ladies – it doesn’t work and often will have the opposite of its intended affect.

6) Supportive. Are you supportive? What does it mean to be supportive? Do you belittle your man or do you help him to feel good about himself, his job, activities? Your husband will be much more respectful of you if you support him. Even when you don’t agree with him – respectfully let him know you don’t agree – then support him anyway. Otherwise, if he has difficulties – he’ll feel as though you’re adding to his troubles.

5) Build up your man. Ladies, there’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him – especially in front of others. On the flip side – try genuinely complementing your husband in front of other people. Your husband will glow with admiration toward you and you’ll feel his appreciation as love.

4) Keep him happy in the bedroom. Unfortunately, many women underestimate the importance of keeping her man’s needs met. Often this comes from the basic differences in women and men. For men, sexual desire is much like physical hunger and if it’s not fed properly – the relationship will struggle. Women must look to understand the needs of the man from his perspective not hers.

3) Respect. A good wife will try to treat her man with respect. How? Much of learning how to be respectful toward your husband has to do with the way you talk to him. The old phrase “It’s not so much what you say but how you say it” should become a wife’s motto. This doesn’t mean you need to be careful what you say to your husband – just be respectful in the way you say it.

2) Communicate. Ironically, good communication between men and women can be quite frustrating. However, a good wife will seek to discover what’s on her mind and find a way to express herself to her husband. Often, men and women will make a joint decision – while the man thinks she’s in agreement with him – but only to discover later that she thought the decision was a bad idea.

1) Be pleasant. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who makes everyone around you feel bad just because you’ve had a hard day. Good things will come from being pleasant. It’s a decision – just decide to be pleasant. But if you can’t be pleasant – make a decision not to bring him down with you.---author unknown

2009 Ultimate Fitness Plan

The strength moves in the Ultimate Fitness Plan are designed as a circuit: You do one move right after another, with little rest in between. Research shows that this type of training boosts calorie burn both during a workout and for an hour afterward by 10 percent over traditional routines.

Do each move for 30 seconds (weeks 1 and 2), then 60 seconds (weeks 3 and 4). Rest for 30 seconds between moves. Do each circuit four times, resting for 2 minutes after the second one. Follow the schedule below. Yes, you do something six days a week, but no workout takes more than 30 minutes out of your busy day.

Monday Moves 1-5 (Goal: Stand Up Straight)
Tuesday Moves 6-10 (Goal: Bulletproof Your Body)
Wednesday Move 11 / Interval Training (Goal: Banish Belly Fat)
Thursday Moves 1-5
Friday Moves 6-10
Saturday Move 11
Sunday Rest*

* You can start the program on any day and choose your own rest day; just don't do the same workout on consecutive days.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/2009-ultimate-fitness-plan-workout-1

How To Handle the Female Friend Who Likes Your Husband

During your marriage life, you may really need to be selective of the female friends you may have around your husband and in your home. All are not always out for your best interest. Some maybe secretly jealous of your marriage, just plain ole lonely, and some could even have a crush on your husband.

You will know who the 'Judas' is just by body language, word choice, and the always concerned what your husband whereabouts are.

One of the body languages could be the constant flirting, light touching which normally goes with the ongoing giggles and laughter, and the famous eye balling. Quick sneak glances or stares at your husband are just a few of the signs. Also, the constant being in his face is another dead give away your female friend may likes your husband.

Word choices are also possible red flags of a female friend liking you husband. Subtle hints or messages in conversation with your husband are the big and obvious crush signs. Wives, please do not be naive! Take notice of what my be going on. Just keep on eye out. I understand somethings may not always appear of what it seems, however just keep note of what is going on.

Last by not least, when the female friend is always asking about your husband. His likes, dislikes, questions of "is he home?", what time does he get off, personal questions and the list goes on. Wives can I suggest something. Be VERY reluctant of giving your husband's cell phone number to a female friend. Things happen or innocent reasons of her having his number may occur, but please, by all means, avoid it! This could hit you in the face later down the line. I'll give a quick scenario: Girlfriend is going through, ie pain, breakup, lost of..., or just need someone to talk to. She calls everyone on her contact but no one is available (We all have had those days). She's desperate. She sees your hubby's number. She calls, they talk, he soothes her over, and they both enjoy each other's conversation. Later, he may call to check up on her or she may call back thanking him for giving his time and concern. A little innocent bond is now made. Later, possibly you got in a fight with the husband. He wants to vent and talk to someone so he calls "her". She soothes him over assuring him it's ok. Next thing could happen, he gives her subtle compliments and vice versa. To make it short, feelings may start to surface and need I say more. You can play with the story, doesn't have to happen like that, but you all know where I'm coming from.

When in the public eye and a female or even a friend is constantly flirting with your husband, STAY CALM. I cannot stress this enough. You don't want to make a fool out of yourself. You don't want to look insecure either. That's a turn off. Stay cool, calm, collective and CONFIDENT. It's best not to go running over to them like a wild ragging bull with fear in your eyes. All that is going to do is give the other woman more ammunition to be mischievous, because she will play on your insecurities. Now see, this is were your appearance comes into place too. Many posts ago, I did A Wardrobe That Works. At least you will be looking hot and feeling confident if/when approaching your husband.

It is your husband's responsibility to address the female/friend and set that boundary. Now this is the part we wives have no control over. The only thing you can do at this time is to somewhat wait it out and PRAY for God's grace, peace, and His mercy not to slap her. If your husband thinks that there was nothing wrong with him entertaining the flirtatious female or friend then you are going to have to pray and keep your cool (in the public eye), cry and vent later.

Overall, it's disrespectful to you. Whether if your husband doesn't see anything wrong or thinks it's all fun and games, if he's a real man of God, then he will respect your wishes and have that boundary set up. The two of you must agree. Would he like it if it was the other way around? Like I thought!

Golden wives, all I can't address all the possible scenarios of this situation. However, the greater One is inside of you. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and wisdom. If you are in a public place, quickly go to the bathroom and say a prayer. God will ANSWER! God will intervene on your behalf where you may not have to do or say anything.

TESTIMONY

FYI: I remember the Lord instructed me to HUG the female that was flirtatious and trying to get with my husband (mind you she was a Judas, ehemm I mean, 'friend'). I fought and fought God on this. After a while I was having dreams of me hugging her and wishing her well. So I knew what I had to do. Sure enough, a week later, we ran into each other at Dunkin Doughnuts and I wanted my emotions to get the best of me, but instead I gave her the biggest bear hug ever. She was surprised and confused looking, yet she had somewhat of shame on her face. Oh yes, it was an awkward moment, but I felt at peace and forgiveness came in my heart towards her. It brought healing and closure to me and I felt like the bigger/better person. Now she tries and invite me to her things, converse, you know, build that friendship up again. I still take it slow with her, but God knew what He was doing. Thank You Jesus! Are we not to walk in unconditional love?

What Would Prompt Infidelity Aside from Sexual & Emotional Needs?

QUESTION & ANSWER:
Q: Enlighten me; outside of sexual & emotional needs, what else would prompt infidelity. I have been thinking, & I easily classify all factors that come up into these 2 categories alone. e.g. Respect. That falls under "emotional needs" class. If too personal to respond, please email me. What would prompt infidelity aside from sexual & emotional needs.

Dear M, here is a list I came up with that would prompt infidelity other than lack of sexual/emotional needs:

SEXUAL ADDICTION/ADDICTED TO WOMEN
Having a sexual addiction is not only a stronghold, but it's no different then drug and food addiction. No matter how much sex you are having with your spouse, it's never enough. There are many different reasons of this behavior, however the common root of this addiction is pornography! It's like an illness. Husband maybe addicted to women. No matter how good you satisfy you spouse in bed, how well you cook/clean, spoiling him, wearing all the sexiest lingerie, respecting him, treating him like a KING/BIG BOSS, if they are an addict of sex/women, then it doesn't matter how good of a wife you are. Trust me, I know. I am personally a victim of this. I did everything for my husband but get him a mistress. He was addicted to WOMEN! For years I thought something was wrong with me, even though my husband would brag how 'good' I am in bed, I took care of his needs, ie attention, love, respect..but yet he would continue to cheat on a regular basis. I have tried everything and new things, but it didn't work. That's when the Lord showed me that it's an addiction/stronghold and I have to pray. Long story short over 10yrs, my husband is now delivered from women/sexual addiction which came from the pornography.

LOW SELF ESTEEM
I always heard how low self-esteem has a part of infidelity. People have told me that he was cheating because he was insecure of himself. I never believed that because I thought it was foolish. If someone is insecure or has low self-esteem, then WHY would you be promiscuous? I have heard my hubby say "A, it was never you, it was me, I was insecure of myself and my self esteem was low."

SELFISHNESS
This is where the favorite phrase, "having your cake and eat it too". Some men just do it for the THRILL of it all. The excitement, sneaking, the anticipation of it all, it being adventurous or whatever excuse anyone else can think of. This type man's mentality is "It's nothing like having a wonderful wife at home who does it all, or half and having a mistress on the side". Another favorite phrase would be, "I wonder do I still have it?" Some would actually try and talk to a lady just to see if they still have "IT". This could also lead into infidelity because the brakes may not have ever been applied.

SUBTLE JOKES @ WORK or SUBTLE SEXUAL GESTURE
No intentions to cheat whatsoever, but it may lead to sex with co-worker or friend. This is unsuspecting and was supposedly no harm done to the spouse, however that is not the case. This too could be a prompt of infidelity.


HURT
Some cheat because their spouse has cheated on them and they want revenge (I can relate). So the root of this would be hurt. Common phrase, "you hurt me, now I'm going to hurt you back." Personally, that was my motto, and I did just that and regretted. When one doesn't have closure over infidelity, then that insecurity and paranoid feeling is still there. Watch it, because if that door isn't closed (having closure and your spouse assuring you their love, trust, etc..) then someone else will give them that security and it could lead to something else.

FEAR
Some spouses may have the attitude of, "Get them before they get you" mentality, or "I rather cheat first before they cheat on me." Take it to the Lord if you want help. It's up to you and you are responsible for self regardless of what your spouse may or may not be doing.

VOID
One may feel empty and try to fill it with alcohol, food, drugs, porn, sex and the list goes on to fill the void.


LONELINESS
Husband may be on another business trip. A long business trip.... He has a wonderful wife at home but he still have needs. There maybe a nice looking woman (or not) in his hotel. They have small talk, flirting begins, small touches start, sexual jokes, and now husband is in too deep!

So as you see, sometimes it's not always a lack of emotional and sexual attention with a cheating spouse, it goes further and only the wisdom of God can give you revelation on what to do. I am a standing testimony that the word of God is true and prayers changes things! Hope that answered your question.