Personal Sabbath

With all [the roles she has to fulfill], a woman must be careful not to burn out. There comes a point where even the lady who has great balance has to say, "That is enough. I am tired. I need to be replenished." Different things replenish different people. Find something that refuels and invigorates you. Whether it is a facial or reading a book in the park, steal away to do it. Remember that all withdrawals and no deposits will make any account overdrawn.

You must not neglect yourself. You must not neglect yourself if you want to fulfill your destiny as a leading lady. Don't get caught up in the life-draining role of martyr as an excuse for not taking better care of your body, your mind, an your spirit. You must replenish with God gives you by resting and waiting upon Him. Without the rest of fall and the sleep of winter, fruit trees and rosebushes would not be able to bring forth fruit and flowers when the spring rains and summer suns stimulate them again. Even the most productive farmland must be allowed to lie fallow if it is to remain productive.

Similarly, when the time comes for you to rest, you must get yourself alone with your Father and keep the spectators and beneficiaries of your goodness outside. It will be hard to keep them waiting sometimes, but you will not restore life to your heart or clarity to your vision if you do not have the solitude and sustenance of time alone. In the intimacy of yours prayers and the privacy of your supplications, you will discover enormous power to sustain you for the long haul o a lifetime performance. If you are to weather the numerous challenges and assaults, the frequent changes of course and monotony of the mundane, then you must nurture this relationship with your divine Director above all else. This is the fuel that kindles and rekindles the spark of confidence in the eyes of the [leading lady]. That is temporarily blinded by storm clouds, fog-strewn nights, and oncoming traffic. He is the rain pouring down into the parched patches of your dusty soul.
TD Jakes

Get Moving!

Any amount of exercise is better than none at all, so whatever you do, get moving! Choose exercises you enjoy. If there are none that you enjoy, choose to do them in places you enjoy. Maybe walking in the park might be better for you than walking on a treadmill. Perhaps watching an action movie will make the treadmill more exciting. Try walking with people who want to talk to you. Tell them to hang up the phone and meet you in the park.

Below are some tips and tidbits that will encourage you to start exercising or to improve the work-out program you are already involved in. The are found in The Little Blue Book of Fitness and Health.

• Don't worry if you weight creeps up when you first start to exercise-muscle is heavier then fat. Instead of watching the scales, notice how you r clothes fit.


• Stretch, stretch, stretch. Flexible muscles are stronger and less prone to injury.


• As a general rule, you should burn 2,000 calories in exercise per week. (Running a mile burns 100-150 calories).


• Enjoy your time in the pool-any movement in water burns one-third more calories than the same movement in air.


• When starting weight training, choose a weight that you can readily lift ten times.


• Trim your inner thighs with a low-intensity work-out equipment with little rest in between-to beef up your workout and add variety. For best results, rest no more than sixty seconds in between.

Just a word to those of you who travel: Get the load off of your shoulders! Luggage and laptops and all the things you carry on the plan can be heavy. Carrying such loads as you maneuver through airports (often on the run!) can be bad for your back and neck. Before you step into an airport again, may I encourage you to get a carry-on bag that rolls and on that has a handle long enough for you to roll it comfortably.

T.D.Jakes

A Wardrobe that Works

We know that clothes do not make the woman, but they certainly have a way of communicating about her! It is important for you to have a wardrobe befitting a leading lady and I want to offer some suggestion to help you get there. Start by evaluating what you already have. Get in your closet and be brutal. Take stock of what you have. Some people say that you should get rid of anything you have not worn in the past year and others say two years. You make that decision; I'll presents seven questions to ask yourself as you clean out your closet.

1. Does it reflect the woman that I am today?
2. Does it fit?
3. Is it worn, frayed, or pilled?
4. Is it in style?
5. Does it coordinate well with what I already have?
6. Do I feel confident in it?
7. Is it attractive while being appropriately modest? (This is especially true for business attire.)

Make sure your shoes are clean and polished and the heels are not worn or have frayed edges. Make sure they are not scuffed or scratched. Make an investment in a well-fitting, good-looking pair of shoes you can wear with a variety of outfits.

Find your signature. Whether it is a designer handbag, a strand of pearls like Jackie O., a certain nail color, or the perfect eyeglasses, find something you can wear often that really makes a statement about who you are. Don't forget to find a signature fragrance as well-but don't overdo it!

In many places, three-season fabrics work well-lightweight wools, gabardine, silks,and some cottons. Invest in suits that are made in these fabrics, especially lightweight wools and gabardines, so you can buy higher quality clothing that will look great most or all of the year. Choose your colors carefully so that you can move from winter to spring with ease by just changing your blouse and you accessories. With a crisp white blouse and a brightly colored scarf, that black suit will be as appropriate in May as it was with a turtleneck and boots in October!

Lady, may I be frank? Those garments called "foundations" or "underwear" are well-named. You lingerie needs to stay under what you wear. Just like the foundation of a house, it exists to serve the purpose of supporting and protecting you-not for the purpose of being seen by the world. Keep your straps on you shoulders; keep your slip under you dress; and by all means do not allow the waist band of your briefs or bikinis to show when you bend over!

Have a good all-purpose coat that reflects your personal style. It' hard to go wrong with a classic trench coat in a classic color, but there are many other options, so find the one that's right for you.

T.D.Jakes

Hair, Skin, Nails, and Make-Up

A beautiful girl is a natural wonder; a beautiful woman is a work of art.

Anonymous

There are at least four areas that are crucial to looking your best: your hair (that's your glory, you know!) your skin, your nails, and your makeup. Beauty professionals can custom-make the look that's right for you in each of these areas, but listed below are several tips that apply to everyone.

Invest in a great haircut and learn how to maintain it (to style it yourself and to recognize when it's time to heard back to the salon). It's funny, great haircuts are like great food: you can pay lots of money to get them in an elegant atmosphere, but you can also get a fabulous cut for $25 in a place that looks like a dive! The important thing is to find a stylist ho is part good listener and part artist. Find someone who understands who you are and what your life is about and who has the ability to translate that to your head! Don't try to go about your grown-up business with high school hair!

Have a professional makeover as often as you can afford to. Your made-up face is the one the world sees, so you want to make sure your makeup is current (not dated) and that you know how to apply it as you age.

Have your nails done as often as possible. Not only is a manicure a relaxing treat, it ensures that your hands and nails will be attractive and well-groomed. I know one woman who found a nail color that worked so well on her that it became part of her signature look-you might consider that too!

You've heard before that the skin is the largest organ of the human body. Skin looks best when it is smooth and silky. Whether we are talking about your arms, your legs, or the bottoms of your feet, the key to silky skin is to moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. Remember that no man wants to crawl in bed with a crocodile!

The skin on your face requires extra care. Understand what type of skin you have and how to take care of it. If you don't know, ask a salesperson at the cosmetics counter of your choosing. Pay particular attention to the skin around your eyes, which wrinkles more quickly than other places on your face.

T.D.Jakes

Start With Radiance

It is who you are on the inside that should define what you choose to do with your outside.

I love to see a woman who feels comfortable in the beauty of herself and her accoutrements. It's nice to wear beautiful clothes and to take enough pride in our Lord's creation of us to fulfill His design. But if you've ever had a makeover yourself, or even simply tried a new look, then you know that it's not just what we see in the mirror that defines who we are.

You've heard it said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and lady, you need to behold yourself and declare yourself beautiful! There is a confidence that simply radiates from a woman who know she is beautiful not because of what she sees in the mirror but because of what she gazes upon in her heart. The truth of the matter is that nothing-not designer clothes, not expensive cosmetics or those pumps-to-die-for will cover up or compensate for a woman who is not radiant on the inside.

That inner glow comes from the fire in the heat of a woman who knows who she is and Whose she is. That fire is ignited and stroked by her confidence in God and by her unshakable conviction that He loves her. When a lady is grounded in the Father's love, there is a stability about her, a solidness, a security, and a deep, abiding joy that shows up on her face as pure radiance. Once a woman knows Whose she is and know that nothing and no one can threaten her position as the Lord's beloved, she is then able to hear His voice as He defines her being, as He tells her what is special and unique about her, and as He shares with her the purpose for which He has created her. There is no substitute for the radiance that is born of this kind of relationship with Him and it is the foundation of every true form of external beauty.

The greater part of your beauty cannot be bought, taken off a rack, applied like lipstick, or put on like a hat. The greater part of your attractiveness lies within; it wells up from the inside and finds an appropriate creative expression on the outside.
T.D.Jakes

The Lady Looks Good

Your body appreciates with use. God didn't make your body to wear out with use, like the cares and appliances that depreciate in a few years. God made your body to become stronger and healthier the more you use it.

It's amazing what a difference the right clothes, a great haircut, well-applied makeup and some good old-fashioned know-how can make in a woman! If you are going to be a leading lady, you must look like one. We all know that a woman's beauty is not all external, but it does help to be well-groomed and polished because the way you present yourself reflects the way you feel about yourself-and leading ladies know very well how special and how valuable they are. They know that they are worth investing in themselves and taking the time and effort required to look their best. After all, isn't that what being a leading lady is all about-being the best in every area of your life?

Whether or not you can afford designer clothes and expensive jewelry is not my concern in this series. My only goal is to help you maximize what you have and help you move down the road toward looking like a million bucks!

T.D. Jakes

The Lady and Her Lord

Introduction

There is no relationship the lady can experience that is any more fulfilling than the relationship that exists between her and her Lord. It is being held in His everlasting arms that brings about healing from the damages that she has incurred in her pursuit of every other relationship. In His arms she finds restoration. There will be times she feels like a little girl, and in His presence she will climb into the lap of a loving Father whose wound wisdom, counsel, and consistent love will insulate her from the adversary whom she must fight. Her Father becomes her protector. He protects her by His Spirit. He counsels her by His Word. He forgives her through His blood, and she is safe in His arms.

He is the solace that heals the feminine soul and renews her mind. He is the missing ingredient that adds validity to every other pursuit of her life. Of she gains everything and fails to know Him, she has nothing at all. His love for her is so pure that she will find none other like it. It is not predicated on her performance, her appearance, or her intellectual capacity. He has loved her before she was formed in the womb of her mother. His love is holy. It becomes the foundation her character is built upon. The woman who knows the love of God is not desperate for the love of her husband because in His arms she has already found that for which her soul thirsts. Now, this is not to say that having Christ will fulfill every void she has as a woman. But her satisfaction in His presence is so complete that it removes her far away from the desperate need for affection and affirmation that leads other women to grope and grasp blindly in the night. She can run to Him in every crisis and know that He will not fail her, He will not desert her, He will not leave her, and He will not change.

T.D. Jakes

Coming Soon

Hello lovely ladies! I will be doing a mini series from the book 'God's Leading Ladies,' by T.D. Jakes. This workbook has helped me out tremendously and I'm want to share with you all. This series covers the grace, poise, and style that I was mentioning as the blog description. So this upcoming week will be the mini series on the workbook. I will make the entries available to print out, so feel free to copy and share. I'm very sure that all will benefit from it.

Alright Golden Wives, enjoy the rest of your weekend. God Bless.

Summer Sizzling Skin

Summer is approaching and it is time to start getting your skin beach-ready! You can buy store products but another alternative is to make your own concoctions. Just mixing a shimmery eye shadow or bronzing powder to your favorite foundation or lotion can do the trick.

TIPS
1) To achieve a glistening look you will want to exfoliate your skin using a stimulating bath scrub like Bliss, Fatgirl Scrub, $38, blissworld.com. This will remove dead skin cells and allow your new luminous skin to surface.

2) Brush upward toward your heart which stimulates the lymph system releasing toxins that produce cellulite.

3) Next, use a body wash that adds shimmer which enhances tanned skin or your natural skin tone. Pick scents that have the aroma of summer like mango, coconut, watermelon, meadow foam, and sea breeze. We like Olay Body Wash Plus Tone Enriching Ribbons, $5.29, drugstores.

4) Keep your skin hydrated with an iridescent moisturizing lotion or oil. You'll love Jergen's Soft Shimmer, $7.49, drugstores, which gives the skin a healthy vibrancy with subtle light reflectors.

Nalo Jones

Is Oral Sex Permissible?

Clifford and Joyce Penner, in their excellent book The Gift of Sex, give this definition of oral sex: “Oral sex or oral stimulation is the stimulation of your partner’s genitals with your mouth, lips, and tongue. The man may stimulate the woman’s clitoris and the opening of the vagina with his tongue or the woman many pleasure the man’s penis with her mouth.” This sexual stimulation may or may not lead to orgasm for the husband and wife.
What does Scripture say about this sexual activity? Most theologians say the Scriptures are silent about oral-genital sex. Some believe two verses in the Song of Solomon may contain veiled references to oral sex. The first is Song of Solomon 2:3:

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest,so is my beloved among the young men.In his shade I took great delight and sat down,and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Throughout the Song of Solomon, the word fruit refers to the male genitals. In extra biblical literature, fruit is sometimes equated with the male genitals or with semen, so it is possible that here we have a faint and delicate reference to an oral genital caress.
The second possible veiled reference is found in Song of Solomon 4:16 (KJV):

Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south;blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out.Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.

These erotic words spoken by Solomon’s bride are at the culmination of a very sensuous love scene. Shulamith asks her husband to blow on her garden (a poetic reference used throughout the Song for the vagina) and cause its spices to flow out. Of course one cannot be certain, but it is possible Shulamith is inviting her husband to excite her by caressing her with his mouth. She then invites him to enter her and feast on the pleasures waiting in her “garden.”
Dr. Douglas Rosenau believes Scripture is silent on the topic of oral sex. “This does not make it right or wrong,” he says. A key emphasis in the New Testament is Christian liberty. Nothing is unclean in itself, says Paul (Romans 14:14), and this presumably includes sexual variety. Lewis Smedes, professor of theology at Fuller Seminary, amplifies Paul’s statement abut nothing being unclean.
Christian liberty sets us free from culturally invented “moral” taboos; and since there is no rule from heaven, it is likely that the only restraint is the feeling of the other person. For example, if one partner has guilt feelings about oral sex play, the Christian response of the other will be to honor the partner until they adjust their feelings. On the other hand, if the partner has only aesthetic reservations, and if these are rooted in some fixed idea that sex is little more than a necessary evil anyway, they have an obligation to be taught, tenderly and lovingly, of the joys of sex in the freedom of Christ.
In Intended for Pleasure, Dr. and Mrs. Ed Wheat says that oral sex is a matter that concerns only the husband and wife involved. If both find it enjoyable and pleasant, then it may properly fit into the couple’s lovemaking practices. One goal of lovemaking is to fill a treasure trove of memories with delightful love experiences that will quicken your responses during your future times together.

One minister’s wife blushes happily as she recalls a memo her husband sent requesting her presence for an urgent “appointment.”

RUN DON’T WALK! YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS EXCITING, DYNAMIC, RIPPING, SLEEP-DEFYING MEETING. Details follow: Would you like to have a meeting in the bathtub? (Loving massage and oral sex included.)
I love you,

Your husband

One woman might feel horrified by the above playful interchange between a husband and wife. To her, oral sex is repulsive. Another may think the minister and his wife have a gloriously free, creative, and fun sexual relationship. She sees that oral sex adds a beautiful dimension to this couple’s lovemaking.
Before we go any further, let us clarify our intent in this chapter. Are we suggesting you incorporate oral sex into your love play? No. We are not making recommendations. Instead, our purpose is to set out for you what Scripture prohibits and to encourage you to seek God’s wisdom concerning His personal recommendations for your marriage.
Each couple is different. Each husband and wife is unique. Because Scripture is either silent —or veiled —concerning this practice, the only way to discover what God allows for you is for you to ask Him. If you’ve never talked to God about your sexual relationship, now is a good time to start. You will not shock God. Remember, sex was His idea. God is a God of wisdom (Daniel 2:20). He promises that when we lack wisdom, if we ask Him, He will give it to us (James 1:5).
As you seek God’s wisdom, you might find it helpful to ask these three questions about any sexual practice you and your husband are considering:

• Is it prohibited in Scripture? If not, we may assume it is permitted. “Everything is permissible for me,” (1 Corinthians 6:12).

• Is it beneficial? Does the practice in any way harm the husband or wife or hinder the sexual relationship? If so, it should be rejected. “Everything is permissible for me—but not everything is beneficial.” (1 Corinthians 6:12).

• Does it involve anyone else? Sexual activity is sanctioned by God for husband and wife only. If a sexual practice involves someone else or becomes public, it is wrong based on Hebrews 13:4, which warns us to keep the marriage bed undefiled.
http://www.marriagemissions.com/

Always seek God on the matter of oral sex. One of my friends said that the Lord told her not to defile His mouth piece. I personally am waiting for confirmation, clarity and assurance on the matter for my sex life in the marriage. Thanks for reading and God bless you.

Nagging

I should probably say a few words about nagging, because it’s such an easy thing for wives to fall into. Let’s face it. Our husbands don’t always keep up their end of the bargain, and nagging seems to come naturally to us in those moments. Maybe your husband is sitting on the couch watching TV, even though the kids need their bath (the job he agreed to do). Maybe he hasn’t taken out the garbage yet, and tomorrow is trash day. You mention it once: “Honey, it’s almost time for the kids to go to bed, and they really need a bath first.” Or, “Sweetheart, did you remember that trash day is tomorrow?” But he hasn’t moved an inch.
You’re not going to nag, are you? Let’s identify nagging so you know what it looks like. How else can you guard against it?
Typically nagging shows up in one or a combination of the following, depending on the circumstances:

1. Repeating a command or demand more than once
2. Using a disrespectful or whiny tone
3. Huffing off when he doesn’t do what you want him to do
4. Grumbling and complaining aloud or under your breath
5. Standing over him with your arms crossed, tapping your big toe on the floor, or wagging your pointer finger in his face.
6. Giving the silent treatment

If you can’t nag, what can you do? Here are a few simple rules for getting your husband to do his part around the house.

Rule #1: Clearly communicate the details of what you expect.

Most nagging can be eliminated from the onset through good communication and realistic expectations. Often, nagging is the result of trying to get our husbands to do things they never agreed to do in the first place.
Be reasonable and realistic in your expectations of what “must be done” by your spouse. And recognize when you need to back off. Some things can wait, but for some unknown reason we want them done now. If the need isn’t immediate, relax a little and determine a reasonable time frame for finishing the task. The more you bring your husband in on the thinking process, the less imploring you’ll need to do.

Rule #2: Speak in a kind, soothing, and respectful voice.

A rude tone of voice can cause your husband to dig in his heels all the more. You can be firm, yet loving. Serious, yet kind. Use your voice and tone diplomatically to get the best results.

Rule #3: Explain the consequences.

Say, “If you don’t stop by the store on your way home from work, we won’t have any milk for your cereal in the morning.” Or, “If you don’t put out the trash tonight, our backyard will smell like rotten eggs until the next trash day.” It doesn’t hurt to set a humorous tone! For example: If the garage isn’t cleaned out by winter, you’re not going to have a place to put the car, and you’re going to get very cold scraping the ice off your windshield every morning.”

Rule #4: Be open for a good trade.

Instead of nagging, offer to trade one of your jobs for his. “Hey, honey, I’ll make a deal with you. If you can’t give the kids their bath now, I’ll take care of it tonight, and you can take care of writing the bills for me tomorrow night.” Guys love bargaining power!

Rule #5: If applicable, offer to pay someone else to do it.

Depending on what needs to be done, suggest paying someone else to do the task. This will accomplish one of two things: It will either shift him into high gear because he’s a miser and doesn’t want to pay money out of his pocket; or it will make him happy because the job’s off his shoulders and you’re off his back. Either way, the job gets done.

http://www.marriagemissions.com/

Coping With Change After Your First Baby Is Born

Dedicated to my good friend Pam. Congrats!

I know it's not the 1st baby,but it's the first for you two :o)

Love you!

What’s really going to change? I can answer that question in one word: everything! And the changes start as soon as you either decide you are ready to have children or find out that you are pregnant. Your communication skills will be put to the test in this stage and will prove essential in your adjustment and continued feelings of closeness and satisfaction.

Once the baby arrives, you may ask, “Whatever happened to sleeping in, spontaneity, late-night movies, and holding hands?” Baby happened, that’s what. No matter how much you each wanted this new little bundle of joy, you need to be prepared for rough waters ahead.

The changes that occur at the birth of your first child are immeasurable, and at some point you will realize that life will never be the same again. This stage includes an emotional roller coaster such as you could never have imagined. You go from the joy of seeing your new creation for the first time to the fear of being inadequate as a parent, from the pride of watching your child develop and learn each new skill to the loneliness of feeling disconnected from your spouse. And on and on the roller coaster goes.
This new stage of your relationship requires that you change certain expectations of how much energy you will have at the end of the day for conversation or housework. How you define closeness and intimacy may need to be changed as well.

Be aware of changes in your personal emotional needs. Mom often begins to develop an emotional need for family commitment that was not there before. She may need to see her husband actively participating in the parenting and will feel close to him as she watches him in his role as a father.

On the other hand, dad often develops an increased need to feel he is providing adequately for his new family. The responsibilities of finances and job may increase his need for admiration from his wife for the role he is performing. As these emotional needs change, it is essential that you identify them within yourself and then talk to your spouse. I have yet to meet the spouse who is a flawless mind reader; so if you want your spouse to know that your needs are changing, then say so.

Not only is a couple’s perception of time changing, but the actual amount of time that they can choose what to do with decreases tremendously. A couple will have only about one-third as much discretionary time after the baby is born as they had before their first child. With the overwhelming demands of caring for a new baby added to all the requirements of daily living already present, something is going to have to give. And unfortunately, that “something” is usually the marriage, and more specifically-the spouse. After all, isn’t he or she big enough to take care of himself or herself?

Ten Steps to Survive and Thrive through the First Quarter
1. Be flexible and do no expect perfection. Remember, everything is changing, and it takes time to adjust and find your way through this new maze of responsibilities and roles. Being flexible, both with yourself and your spouse, will reduce tension. There is no “right” way to parent. You will develop a routine that works for the two of you and your baby.
Do not worry if it is not the same as the way some of your friends are doing it. Avoid setting unrealistic expectations for either of you or the baby. Be sure to take time to share with each other if you feel that unrealistic expectations are forming, and then discuss these openly.

2. Find a balance. For now, the needs and demands of your baby will likely take center stage in this three-ring circus you are calling a marriage. But remember, there are two other rings to attend to as well—you and your spouse. Doing little things to take care of your spouse and yourself can make all the difference in the world. While the baby naps, do something for one or both of you instead of focusing on catching up on household chores. For example, take a nap, call a friend, read a magazine, or chat with your spouse.

3. Talk to each other every day. Take time every day to check in with each other. Talk about changing expectations and needs, division of labor, disappointments and fears about parenting, whatever you want—just keep talking. Remember that communication involves both talking and listening. You need to be the best listener you can possibly be if you want your spouse to continue to share with you his or her deepest thoughts, feelings, fears, and needs.

4. Get out of the house. This can be with or without the baby, because both can be fun. Fresh air, fresh faces, and fresh conversation can help you avoid feeling that the world is passing you by. Get out there and be a part of the activities that you and your spouse choose together. This will help contain feelings of loneliness and isolation that many parents of young children experience.

5. Develop a couple-centered, not a child-centered, relationship. This is the first time in your relationship that you have to choose who really comes first. Starting right here and now, determine that the couple comes before the children. The order of priorities must be God first, marriage second, and children third if you want your marriage to continue to grow stronger through each of the consecutive stages.

If you make your children your number one or even number two priority, their never-ending need for attention will eat up everything you have to give, and the rest of your life will suffer because of it. Love your children, provide for them, and meet their needs. But remember that one of their most important needs is to have parents who really love each other.

6. Become co-parents, not compulsive parents. One of the major problems I see couples having today has to do with the “super-parent” role so many of us believe we have to take on. Moms and dads alike (usually moms more than dads at this stage) can fall into the trap of believing they are the only person who can adequately care for the baby. Somehow they forget that many a parent has come and gone before them and has learned to care adequately for these helpless little creatures just as they have.
But when it comes to their baby, they are convinced that it has to be done a certain way, and no one can do it as well as they can. This can even apply to the other parent. Becoming a compulsive parent will only isolate you and eventually lead to parenting burnout. Parents need breaks and need to support each other.

7. Redefine romance. Let’s face it, intimacy and romance as they were once defined become much more difficult once you become a parent. The availability of privacy and time for just the two of you may seem almost nonexistent. And when it is available, you may not have the energy to focus or perform.
During this stage of parenting, find new ways to stay connected physically. You may find yourselves touching more often in nonsexual ways and wanting to cuddle up together at night, even though you may not desire anything more. Be patient with each other in this area, and remind each other that “this too shall pass” and you will be able to regain spontaneous, uninterrupted lovemaking in the future.

8. Establish an outside support network. This includes friends and family you can call on for help on an especially stressful day or who are there as a sounding board and to offer advice. This also includes anyone you can hire to help out with daily chores such as housecleaning, laundry, meal preparation, and lawn mowing. And don’t forget those moms’ groups, Bible studies, and couples from church that can help fill your need for adult conversation. If someone offers to help out, accept! Don’t try to go it alone.

9. Schedule couple time. Busy couples do not just find time for each other; they make time for each other. Taking time to connect with your spouse every day is an essential element to keeping a marriage strong. Remember to kiss every day, hug each other as you leave and return home, sit together holding hands while you watch television. These little connection times can make all the difference in the world in helping the two of you feel treasured by each other.
Set aside a large block of time to spend together at least once a week. Hire a babysitter, get away from the house and baby, and remember who you married and why. You did not get married to have children; you got married because you were in love with each other. Now, while you are raising children, keep reminding each other what it is you love about each other. Spending time together, dating, and talking with each other are the best ways to do this.

10. Develop a sense of humor, because when all else fails (and it probably will at least once in a while), it helps to laugh!

http://www.marriagemissions.com/

Let What You Say and What You Mean Be the Same

Men are generally more literal-minded than women. They can appreciate symbolism, suggestion, and subtlety, but your best bet with your husband is to say exactly what you mean, the way you mean it. Then he can get busy responding to what you really meant, rather than what he may only think you meant.

Whenever you open your mouth to send a message to the man in your life, expect him to believe you mean what you say. You make knowing and understanding you much easier when you say what you mean and mean what you say in the first place. Do it, and you'll find out that the risk of confusion and misunderstanding is automatically and dramatically reduced.
It's a simple point, but full of practical value in the business of relating to a man: If you say it, mean it. If you don't, don't. Sending mixed messages with a little yes, a little no, and a little maybe in them will eventually leave at least one of you with tight jaws and hurt feelings.

Don't say: "Whatever you decide is all right with me..." when what you really mean is "I'm counting on you to make a decision based on what you know I want."

Don't say: "That's ok; it didn't matter..." When what you really mean is: "That will be the last time you will ever do that to me!"
You may be quite surprised to how offended he doesn't get when you offer him the pure, buck-naked what's on your mind. You need no to be rude or insensitive; just honestly and consistently say what you mean.

Say it: "The world's greatest authority on what I'm thinking, feeling,, or meaning is me. For him to know what I really mean, requires that I say it and mean it when I do."
Do it: Spend the day with a friend. Tell them you are determined to practice saying exactly what you mean the entire time. Ask your friend to check you and challenge you to shoot straight and avoid confusing double-talk. At the end of the day grade yourself,and get a grade from your companion.
Dr. Ronn Elmore