June 01, 2009

Let What You Say and What You Mean Be the Same

Men are generally more literal-minded than women. They can appreciate symbolism, suggestion, and subtlety, but your best bet with your husband is to say exactly what you mean, the way you mean it. Then he can get busy responding to what you really meant, rather than what he may only think you meant.

Whenever you open your mouth to send a message to the man in your life, expect him to believe you mean what you say. You make knowing and understanding you much easier when you say what you mean and mean what you say in the first place. Do it, and you'll find out that the risk of confusion and misunderstanding is automatically and dramatically reduced.
It's a simple point, but full of practical value in the business of relating to a man: If you say it, mean it. If you don't, don't. Sending mixed messages with a little yes, a little no, and a little maybe in them will eventually leave at least one of you with tight jaws and hurt feelings.

Don't say: "Whatever you decide is all right with me..." when what you really mean is "I'm counting on you to make a decision based on what you know I want."

Don't say: "That's ok; it didn't matter..." When what you really mean is: "That will be the last time you will ever do that to me!"
You may be quite surprised to how offended he doesn't get when you offer him the pure, buck-naked what's on your mind. You need no to be rude or insensitive; just honestly and consistently say what you mean.

Say it: "The world's greatest authority on what I'm thinking, feeling,, or meaning is me. For him to know what I really mean, requires that I say it and mean it when I do."
Do it: Spend the day with a friend. Tell them you are determined to practice saying exactly what you mean the entire time. Ask your friend to check you and challenge you to shoot straight and avoid confusing double-talk. At the end of the day grade yourself,and get a grade from your companion.
Dr. Ronn Elmore


Simi Speaks said...

Am learning this valuable lesson everyday.. Isn't it amazing how straight-forward men are!

Am learning to simply say what I mean to avoid unnecessary mis-understandings!

Lady A said...

You are not alone, same here! I sometimes go all around the Mulberry Bush, lol.